Joke Time [Merged]

Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?

A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

that one was good.

ok i am going to post one joke against black people and one against white people just to even it out ok. this is just a joke and nothing else.

How do u starve a blackman? Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

And for the white joke

How many irish guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb. 30 one to hold in the light bulb and 29 to drink to make the room spin

Cat in the Hat tongue twister:

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is 40 cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the third word in every line.

That made me feel stupid... owie...

i am glad i didnt have to do that again someone had that on there away message and i read it and i was like god damn it 😛

lol

Night Shoukan have a good day tommarow Im out peace

D

what do you get when you cross a elephant with a rhino?

elephino 😆

Spoiler:
sounds like "hell if i know"

Q: Okay, what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

A: Well, Neil Armstrong WALKED on THE MOON, and Michael Jackson f*cks little kids! 😱

tired hicker: how about this answer to your joke:...and Michael Jackson has seen too many moons.

wots long and brown? the kfc line
(4 the nzers)

a horse walks into a bar and the bar man says 'why the long face?'

👆

Post all the jokes you know!

I'll start with a comic strip from the Private Eye featuring Lord Ashcrofte:

Taxman: "Have you paid any taxes this year Lord Ashcrofte?
Lord Ashcrofte: "Mind your own business, I'm a Tory peer."
Taxman: "Fair enough." (leaves)
Lord Ashcrofte: "That wasn't too taxing, eh Readers?

😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂

On a Times article:

There was a weird article in the Times about a doctor who had resiged in protest at having to use a dessert spoon as an operating tool because of lack of funding to the hospital. The article could not have been more surreal if they had been trying to do a spoof item!

However, my joke based on that:

Dr Hannibal Lecter could operate and have desert in the same shift! 😂 🤣 😂

^ your a Keanu-Hater hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha!

So NOONE knows any jokes? That's sad! ❌

i do...you hahahaahahhaahha

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Sam," said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh, my God!" she screamed, "Sam is dead!"

I made this up myself last night. It's not that funny, but at least its my own joke.

Q: What did one retired pirate say to another??

Spoiler:
A: Long time, no sea 😂

shaber isnt funny 🙄