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sorry blondes just wanted the first joke about how dumb...smart you are
Blonde's Year in Review:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said: "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said: "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."
The second kid said: "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said: "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!".
The third kid said: "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says: "But you don't look like you are injured."
The kid says: "But I will be after my dad finds out I saved your butt from drowning!"