Random Comments

Doing that on Earth Day is like spitting in Santa’s face!

Yes, i do realize my saying ‘no pressure’ puts a great deal of pressure on you.

Its a hermit crab. They shun ppl and lack emotion. Wait. Am i a hermit crab?

Trust me kid, i know talent! And you...
are the only one that showed up.

That’s about as useful as aiming center mass on a donut.

A relationship is like a cookie, and the lies are the tasty chocolate chips!

That’s all i remember because then i rode my bike straight into that tree.

Oh, sweet mother of all things unnecessary and borderline hilarious...

It takes two to tango, but only one to start a war.

Dance like no one’s watching, spank like someone IS.

I wish Gravity Falls would come back a season, or at least a special.

Yeah, obviously. No one like hairy silverware.

Someday you’re going to make a slightly less attractive woman very happy.

I like the way they taste in my mouth.

Oregon, Maine, and Alabama.
Rain, Snow, and still pissed the South lost The Civil War.

No jokes about how close i am with my dog.
Or the truth about how close i am with my dog.

If that’s not an invitation to dress a pig up in a tuxedo, i dont know what is.

I was an idiot to think i could do this job. But you were all idiots for HIRING me!

I’m...going to miss that vacant stare.

I didnt think anyone had named their kid Adolf in the ladt 70+ years.