((Stolen!)) Things they would never say.

Started by Sex Pistol16 pages

Sirius: Sorry harry, but me and Voldermort are having a secret love affair.

Harry: its not that much of a secret i mean he is taking you up the arse as we speak. Er... can i be next?

lol!

Harry: oh Voldy Voldy, how was I supposed to know?That something wan't right here?Oh pretty Voldy, I shouldn't have let you gooooooo, cuz now you're out of sight yeah.Show me how you want it tooo beee tell me BABY cuz I need to know now what becasuse, my lonliness is killin' me and IIII I must confess I lvoe you Vlody!

Voldemort: he does? SO ALL MY YERS OF SECRETLY LOVING HARRY WERE NOT A WASTE?! ::runs into Harry's arms::
Harry: I love you!Let's get married.
percy: That's great harry, I think I'll ditch Fudge and come be your best man!
Fred and George: you can't skip work, that's being troublesome!
rON: MUM, CAN i HAVE A PET SPIDER?
Mrs.Weasley: you know Harry, I never liked you. DIE!
Harry: okaaaay then.Draco, you're my new best friend.
Hermione: O.W.L's are coming up, and I think I'll kick it and smoke some weed this year. SSSSWWWWWW-HOO
Ron: Neville, when did harry Potter DVD get released?
Neville: November 23, 2004.Why?HEY! I remebered it exactly!
Crabbe: In spite of this cruel predicament that we have, and the fact thst everyone belives that me and my good fried Gregory are un-intelligent, we are actually very sophiscticated, in fact you're so behind that we're going to study you like Humans study monkeys for scientific reasons!

I have no clue if you guys will like those, but I just thought that they'd never say those things.

Draco: I just love women with chipmunk-teeth. Especially if they're half-Muggles!

Draco: Look at Weasley. Just look at him. How can anyone be so cool?

Draco: You have the greatest fashion sense in the entire world, Mr. Lupin!

Draco: Potter, you're the greatest!

Draco: That You-Know-Who guy is just so.. so... MEAN!!! *sob sob*

* * *

Harry: I have the best family in the whole world!

Harry: Who cares about Cho? I want my Cedric!

Harry: I've lived with this scar long enough! It's time for a plastic surgery!

Harry: You expect me to hop on that broom? No way!

Harry: *when someone mentions Voldemort* AAGH! For God's sake, don't say that name aloud!

Harry: Your sister is one hell of a hot chick, Ron!

* * *

Ron: What? //Only// 13 million pounds? How cheap!

Ron: Eww, that Muggle just touched me! Someone bring me soap!

Ron: You mudblood scum!

Ron: Okay, so Ginny's in danger. Should I care?

Ron: Hi Draco! Come here and sit between Harry and me!

* * *

Hermione: 2 plus 2 makes.. aww, why does it have to be so hard?

Hermione: Could you please help me with my homework?

Hermione: Tests? Oh God no!

* * *

Ginny: Harry sucks!

Ginny: *insert any vile word here*

* * *

Snape: ..maybe I should wash my hair more often.

Snape: WAAAZZZUUUUUP!!!!!

Snape: Draco, stop bothering Harry. It really isn't cool.

Snape: Please let me help you with that potion, Neville.

* * *

Sirius: Kiss me, you handsome Dementor you!

Sirius: Harry, I am your father!

Sirius: I've been away from Azkaban for a week now and I miss it already!

Sirius: Peter, my old buddy! How are you doing?

* * *

Peter: You're absolutely right, I must be punished for my crimes! Arrest me!

Peter: Never. I will never betray James and Lily. You have failed, lord Voldemort. I am a Jedi, like my father before me!

* * *

Percy: Why bother to study?

Percy: It's party time!

* * *

Neville: Come on everyone, lets go kick some ass!

* * *

Fred & George: It's so not cool to hang around with your brother!

Fred & George: Sense of humor? What is that supposed to be?

* * *

Voldemort: Who cares about world-domination? Gardening is much more fun!

* * *

Lupin: I just hate it when I change! I get hair all over me!

Lupin: I really should go shopping more often. Just look at these old rags!

Lupin: What on Earth makes you think that I would like to help you, Harry?

Lupin: Sirius, you son of the *****! DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Lupin: It's soooooooooo nice to meet you again, Snape!

Lupin: Say, Harry, you busy tonight?

* * *

Lockhart: I'm just an ugly, cowardly looser!

Lockhart: Snape, show them how to do it. After all, you're so much better than me.

* * *

Dumbledore: I really should shave more often.

Dumbledore: Oh my God! Harry killed Fawkes! You bastard!

* * *

Colin: Harry Potter? Is he one of the instructors here?

* * *

Dursleys: What? Our sweetie-pie Harry is a wizard? Oh, the joy!

* * *

Lucius: Why did James marry Lily? I was much prettier than her!

Lucius: We must defend the rights of the Muggles!

* * *

Cedric: Who cares about being fair, I want to win no matter what!

* * *

Hagrid: Harry, the man who killed your parents was called Voldemort

woah thats a lot

bloody hell, there was a lot to read.

Hermione: "I really meant to do it
I'm not sorry that I did,
I don't care what came over me
I am a horrid kid
So when I say Crookshanks there
Rather then defend her
I grabbed her by the furry tail
& shoved her in the blender."

Harry: "I shot the headmaster! But i did not shoot the one who musn't be named!"

Crabbe: "In light of recent events I'd like to congratulate Harry Potter for his outstanding performance in the recent anti-Voldermort actions. Thankyou Harry, for your courage & bravery!"

<<<heehee, I like this one!>>> Voldermort (to new Death Eaters): "Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?"

Voldemort: DUUUUUH?!
Hermione: How the hell should I know?

Originally posted by Sex Pistol
Snape: I feel so pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!

You watched that Friends episode, eh? THat was disturbing.

Everyone saying the name Voldermort freely (at least at the moment).

Draco Mafloy - "Filthy pure bloods. They disgust me."

Harry - "Being near Dementors aren't that bad. The last time I felt them, I got a little buzz."

Professor Snape - "Yes Miss Granger. You have an answer to the question?"

Professor Bins - "My god. When did I die?"

Continued...
Harry: The Dursleys are SO much nicer than the Weasleys!
Ron: Hey, a big spider! Harry, check this out!
Neville: LET'S GET SOME! WOOOO!
Snape: THat was uncalled for, Potter. (sniffs heartily) you hurt my feelings. (Bursts into tears)
Dumbledore: Who cares about your scar, anyway?
McGonagall: Good news, you all. NO HOMEWORK TODAY!
Lupin- I hate you, James. SO MUCH!
Mrs.Weasley: Do tell me about your dress, Mrs. Dursley.
Mr. Weasley: You MUST come over for supper sometime, Lucius.
Draco Malfoy: Hey, Granger....want to go out sometime? I know a good place up in Hogsmeade.
Lucius Malfoy: Ah, Arthur. You are well, I hope?
Binns: PAR-TAY!!!!! COME ON!!!!
Dean: FOOTBALL SUCKS! QUIDDITCH IS BETTER!
Seamus: Irish are soooo gay.
Macnair: Awwwwwww. lookit the wee little Hippogriff. Isn't we so cute, now, eh?

Voldermort- EH, EH, EH!
*Strokes Harry's face and walks away.*
(Only Litlle Britain fans will get that)

Dumbledore: "BOOYAH!"
McGonnagle: "WOOP WOOP!"
Trelawny: "YEEAH"
Binns: "WOOHOO"
Umbridge: "MMHMM OH YEA!"
Sprout: "AHHUH AHHUH"
Snape: "DUUUUUUDE!"
Filch: "Man this partay is ROCKING!"

& here's one for Unholy Cheese & other CAD comic fans! (time is set back a year mind u!)
Harry: "Wanna play some Half-Life 2 with me?"
Ron: "You don't HAVE Half-Life 2. Half-Life 2 isn't even OUT yet."
Harry: "Sure it is, I'm playing it right now."
Ron: "No you're not, you're just looking at porn"
Harry: "..."
Harry: "Good times"

LoooL!!!!

lol

Basically any of the teachers going insane, as Joscail said.

Lupin:'I know you`re all gelous at me for being a werewolf, but there`s only one part in the book and it`s mine baby, so get over it!'

Hermione:'To hell with house elves!'*grabs a bazooka*

Sirius:'Do you like my pet Dementor? Cute, ain`t he! I just couldn`t resist! Think I`m going to kiss him!'

Harry:'YAY! I`m the happiest kid in the world! I have no parents!'
or
Harry to Voldermort: 'Thank you so very much for killing my parents! My father was so stuck-up and my mother .... a half-blood!!! You won`t tell, right?'

Voldermort:'Why don`t I have such a cool scar on my forehead?? No fair!'*sobs*

If u want something they would never say find a gay slash fanfic...that's my belief anyway, I'm not a fan of gay slash....but sorry to anyone who is a fan of them, I mean no offense.

You got a point though....😆

lol