Philosophical (but still funny) quotes by you!

Here's where everybody puts in a quote that's funny, but still means something.

Here's one of mine: Some say the glass is half full. Others say that it's half empty. I say that there's half a glass.

Granted, that might not be extremely funny, but I have a WHOLE lot more. Gentlemen (and gentleladies), start you quoting!

I know it is stupid but I say this all the time..
gravity kills when there is impact.

Some say the glass is half full. Others say that it's half empty I say you should stop thinking about it and drink it already

If pro and con are opposites, are progress and Congress? (my answer is yes)

The Bible Studies course has been recently changed to Theories in Mass Hypnosis 101. No one seems to have noticed.

College would be great if it weren't for all the classes.

Don't steal, that's the government's job

Capitalism can live in one of two states: Welfare and Warfare

god please give me the knowledge to change what i want, please give me the courage to change what i can, and please give me the knowledge to know the differnce. i think thats how it went

More or less

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

badkitty, I think that's a Deep Thought, by Jack Handey, from SNL...

stilll funny though!

What does not kill you... uh.... makes you a cripple ?😄
(bad joke, srry😉)

Originally posted by SlickRick69
badkitty, I think that's a Deep Thought, by Jack Handey, from SNL...

stilll funny though!

some say the glass is half full...others say "where the hell's my waiter"......not mine but 😄

Originally posted by badkittykitty
Haha! good eye..thats what it is!
its all I could think of 😂

That which doesn't kill you will probably try again

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.

Now matter how long you've been in the pool, when you get out you'll be just as wet.

Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity

Never miss a good chance to shut up

If you decide not to choose, you have already made the wrong choice!

If you depend on others to make you happy, you will be endlessly dissaointed.

Half of worlds misery comes from ignorance. The other half from intelligance.

What is right is often forgoten by what is conviniant!

-I think therefore I will not
-Oppresors of the Proletariat will never be oppress by a presser.
-What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. Therefore it doesn't matter.
-Life is like a box of chocolates...............so keep buying them and you will make someone rich (candy stores owners)

"curiouser and cu.. what the f**k!!!!!!!!!!!"

damn im still wierd, i dont deserve to tell jokes ❌ 😖 🤪 🙁

i guess you have to have read alice and wonderland ot get that one.

THE TURTLE IS MOVING

Okay, I didn't make this one up, but I still love it.

"The 50-50-90 Rule: If you have a 50-50 chance at picking something, 90% of the time you'll pick the wrong thing."

That is true

Yep 😄

"When life gives you lemons, throw them at people."

Courtesy of my friend Mishi...

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living

Fiction is our own reality

The absolute value of the density of raisins in the perfect raisin muffin is 16

It's not that I'm antisocial, it's just that I'd like for everyone to be banished to Uzbekistan