Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie
Advice: What we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
A friend is someone who will help you movie. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a body
System of a Down: A system that loses power excessively
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliaphobia: the fear of long words
If you keep your feet frimly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants
To err is human; to forgive is against company policy