Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years.
.After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest .room.
The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and .their
successes. The
first guy says:
I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and .joy. He started working
at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied
Economics and Business Administration, soon he was promoted and began
to climb the corporate ladder, becoming the General Manager and now he
is President of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best
friend a top of the
line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son too is my pride and
joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travel agency for a
very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed
to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the
assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet
for his birthday.
The third guy says: Well, well, congratulations! My son also is my pride
and joy and he too has become very rich. He studied in the best
universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction
company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave
away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his
birthday. He built a 30,000 sq.ft. mansion specially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other for the huge successes of
their sons.
The fourth friend, who had gone to the rest room, returned and asked:
What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?
One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons.
And then he asked, What about your son?
The fourth man replied: My son is gay and he makes a living dancing as a
stripper at a nightclub.The three friends said: What a shame that must
be, that is just horrible, what disappointment you must feel.
The fourth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son
and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very
lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed the other day and
he received a beautiful 30,000 sq. ft mansion, a brand new jet
and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends !
Two Evertonians and a redshite arrive at Heaven.
Saint Peter greets them at the gate and tells them to go and sit in Heaven's Park whilst awaiting his judgement of their life on Earth. "One cautionary note" says Saint Peter "don't tread on any of the ducks!" The threesome enter the park and take a stroll around, enjoying its beauty, free ice creams, glorious sunshine.
After a couple of hours one of the Evertonians accidentally steps onto a duck and it starts to quack, quite loudly. One by one the other ducks join in until eventually thousands of ducks are quacking in unison as loud as they dare. The other Evertonian can't control his laughter, steps backwards and he too steps onto a duck. The noise level grows louder and louder to an almost unbearable level.
After a minute of continuous duck quacking Saint Peter enters the park, quietens the ducks down, then says, "Right. For stepping onto a duck I sentence you to be shackled to a starving rottweiler for the next hour whilst I try to asses your future with a bit of peace and quiet." There is a flash of lightning and the poor Blue is rooted to the spot eyeball to eyeball with the hungry animal.
"As for you," says Saint Peter, "you're no better. You can have Hannibal Lecter for company." Another flash of lighting and the salivating doctor is strapped face to face with Blue number 2.
Without uttering another word Saint Peter claps his hands, there's another flash of lightning, then the most beautiful blonde appears face to face with the redshite, the pair of then chained tightly together. With the world's biggest grin on his face the redshite, almost in tears, whimpers, "Ooo argh, me handsome. What did a poor west country soul like me ever do to deserve this for all eternity?" "Don't ask me," says the young lady, "but all I did was accidentally tread on a duck!!"
A stranger was seated next to a Jamaican on Air Jamaica, when the stranger turned to the Jamaican and said;"Let's talk. I 've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The Jamaican, who had just turned on some reggae on his walkman, said;"Wha you like fe discuss, Sah?"
"Oh, I don't know." Thinking that he would stump the Jamaican, he said;"Nuclear Power?"
"Aaright," said the Jamaican, "Dat could be one in-tresting topic. But mek me ask you one question fus."
"Go ahead," said the stranger.
"A donkey, a cow and deer all eat grass, right? Yet, a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow tun out flat patties, and a donkey produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose dat is?"
"Jeez", said the stranger, "I have no idea."
"Well, den;" said the Jamaican,"how de rass it is dat yuh feel qualified fe discuss nuclear power when you don't even know shit?"