So There's This Girl...

Originally posted by Myth
A couple more things that made me sad. 🙁

Just a little bit before we broke up, I think she started hinting towards getting married. Throughout high school, we kind of shared the same views of marriage. We talked about how dumb it was when peopl got married young. When we saw our peers get engaged, we both expressed how dumb we thought they were. However, I was really believing that I wanted to marry her. A little bit before we broke up, we were talking about Christmas presents. I was telling her something about how its hard to tell what to get her for christmas. She jokingly said, "Well, jewelries always nice." (Don't worry, she's not really that materialistic). I responded that I wanted to get her something that I haven't gotten her before and I've already got her all sorts of jewelry. She responded with, "Not all types of jewelry" and she lifted her hand to show her ring finger. After I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I was going save up enough money to buy a ring and propose to her. Before I knew it, she left me. And this was right before she broke up with me. I think it was one of those "I want to see if we are going somewhere or I'm moving on" type things. So I may have barely missed my chance. 🙁

The thing that bothers me now is, I'm trying to figure out if she really wants to stay friends. I'm thinking its my paranoid personality, but what if I'm wrong? Since we broke up on good terms, we promised to try our best to stay friends and not let future bf/gf's come between our friendship. Well, now it seems that she is trying to drift away from me which is tearing me apart all over again. She kept me close for a while when we first broke up but now I wonder if it was because I was all she knew, and now my shoes are filled so she doesn't seem to need me as much anymore as a friend. There was about 4 months where I didn't even see her because her "schedule" always conflicted. And it started to appear that if she called, it was just her returning my calls. Around March, her bf and his family got a little fed up with her talking to me. She asked me not to call incase he was around but promised that she would call me some nights when he wasn't around. That only lasted a week because I expressed to her how much bullcrap it was to be told that I can't call a friend. I told her that a friend should be able to call whenever because I need a friend to be there for me as well when I need to talk. She convinced her bf that he can't just tell her not to let me call. But the whole arguement that she used against him, was that she made a promise to me and she was going to keep it. It almost sounded like she did it because it was a promise, not because it was me. I'm now starting to think that she only stays friends with me because of the promise. It doesn't appear that she needs me anymore, but I think she realized that I don't want to let her slip 'completely' out of my life. She knows that I want to be as close to her as she'll let me be. Currently, I'm kind of testing to see how true my theories are. We hung out like 2 weeks ago as of Friday. We haven't talked since and its really throwing me off. Its one thing if it were still the school year, but now its summer and I'm home so she knows we could actually hang out if she wanted to get a hold of me. I've initiated most the phone conversations over the last couple months and I want to see if she cares enough about me to call me first. Its killing me. Its been 2 weeks, I'm at home and she knows it, and she still hasn't contacted me. Like I said, maybe I'm paranoid. I want to hear her voice so bad. I keep looking at the phone and just want to call her. I don't know how long I can hold out for her to call me. I'm so depressed right now...

Originally posted by Black Onyx
its obvious the bf is jelous
alot of girls are like that (coming from a girl) we can be real b!tches sometimes but it might be because she doesnt know how you feel why dont you call her whats the worst he new bf can do tell you to stop or he'll say stop again 😂 cheer up your a great guy alot of girls out there would want you. go out with some friends and see a movie or sumthing to get her off your mind. its gonna be ok 😉

I understand that he would be jealous. But he needs to respect that she can be friends with who she wants and he is no longer standing in the way of that. I'm currently not calling her because I want to see IF she'll call me first. I go out with friends all of the time. Doesn't mean that I'm not going to be sad when there is nobody around. I feel lonely without her even when I'm with people. 🙁

But the fact that you're not calling her, just to test if she'll call you, well, that says to me that the boyfriend has every right to be cautious. Again, I'm probably being out of line, but I really fail to see the great deception you've been done. There isn't one, right?

She's moved on, or is in the process of doing so, and you need to do the same. Quit playing all these silly games with one another, the "who's gonna call who" games, causing her to ask permission for you to call, which she wouldn't have to do if you guys could ever really be 'just friends'.

I feel for you Myth, but to a limit hug

ok myth i'm gonna tell you what i would do if i were you...

the 1st thing i would do is call her and talk to her about the freindship thing ask her how come she doesnt keep in touch and tell her why you havent called her or better yet call her and try and go to lunch with her and she can talk about the "freindship/getting back togethor thing".....not talking to her is obvsioulys driving you crazy (or maybe its not but thats what i'm getting here)

2nd thing i would if u were you is to go on more dates....hit the bars ask a buddy to hook you up...this way at least you rmind wont be on her soo much and you might believe it or not meet someone better than her i doubt it will be easy to forget about the memories you 2 had but if you meet someone new you like you could create new memories to help try and forget the old one

i dont expect you to do any of this but i'm just tryin to gelp you out brother

Originally posted by Lady von Tramp
But the fact that you're not calling her, just to test if she'll call you, well, that says to me that the boyfriend has every right to be cautious. Again, I'm probably being out of line, but I really fail to see the great deception you've been done. There isn't one, right?

She's moved on, or is in the process of doing so, and you need to do the same. Quit playing all these silly games with one another, the "who's gonna call who" games, causing her to ask permission for you to call, which she wouldn't have to do if you guys could ever really be 'just friends'.

I feel for you Myth, but to a limit hug

Don't feel out of line, I'm trying to see what everybody else thinks so feel free to speak up. I know its not right that I feel that I need to 'test' her to see if she'll call. But I'm just so confused, I just kind of have to know. wuTa, I would just come right out and ask her but its hard. I don't really want to be interfering with her relationship because I see that as wrong to try to break somebody up for my own selfish reasons. There is so many things I just want to tell her so bad, but I'm not in the position to do so. Not talking to her is driving me crazy, you understood that correctly. Everytime the phone rings, I just hope its her. I almost want to ask her what she wants me to do or if she wants to stay friends or not, but I'm affraid of jeopardizing what little I have left of her. Its something I just don't want to risk because she is so important to me.

"2nd thing i would if u were you is to go on more dates....hit the bars ask a buddy to hook you up...this way at least you rmind wont be on her soo much and you might believe it or not meet someone better than her i doubt it will be easy to forget about the memories you 2 had but if you meet someone new you like you could create new memories to help try and forget the old one"
- I'm ready to move on, don't get me wrong. But nothing has come up. I don't go to bars because I'm not 21 and I don't drink anyway. I know a lot of people who go clubbing but the types of girls that people pick up doing that crap aren't what I'm looking for. I'm also not going on any "blind dates" that my friends set me up on. Just not happening. I have one friend who's taste in girls I would trust, but we know the same people, so anybody he would set me up with, I would already know, and he'd know whether or not I liked them.

Originally posted by Myth
Don't feel out of line, I'm trying to see what everybody else thinks so feel free to speak up. I know its not right that I feel that I need to 'test' her to see if she'll call. But I'm just so confused, I just kind of have to know.

OK, I now see you're not digging for a sympathy vote at all, and I'm leaning a lot more towards sympathising with you. I get that you're confused, it ended abruptly right? I think you need closure hun, you really do. The best thing I could advise is that you call her, be totally open and honest with her, and see where that takes you. Cliche or not, what exactly have you got to lose? Not her as a girlfriend, obviously, and to be perfectly frank, I don't think the 'friendship' you're clinging to would be any great loss at the moment either. Just try babe, I'll be rooting for you 😉

Originally posted by Lady von Tramp
OK, I now see you're not digging for a sympathy vote at all, and I'm leaning a lot more towards sympathising with you. I get that you're confused, it ended abruptly right? I think you need closure hun, you really do. The best thing I could advise is that you call her, be totally open and honest with her, and see where that takes you. Cliche or not, what exactly have you got to lose? Not her as a girlfriend, obviously, and to be perfectly frank, I don't think the 'friendship' you're clinging to would be any great loss at the moment either. Just try babe, I'll be rooting for you 😉

Yeah, I think you may be right. But I don't think its something I can do. I shouldn't be desperately hanging on like I am, but I don't want to let go. Its just too hard. I almost just want to stay close enough to wait until their relationship ends and then pretty much beg for her to come back to me and give me a chance. I agree with the closure thing. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if we did end up splitting apart because of some problems or fight. Then I could look back and see our relationship as something that was never right and there were hidden things about her or something. If I were angry at her, it would have made it easier to stop loving her and forget. But thats not the way things went down. I know her pretty well so when (if) she calls first, I'm pretty sure she'll ask why she hasn't heard from me in a while. Thats when I'll kind of step forward (if I get the balls to do so), and I'll remind her that the whole time that I didn't call, she didn't call either. Maybe, emphasize maybe, the conversation will go deeper from there and I might ask her if she feels alienated or if she feels that she has an obligation to be my friend because of a promise. The problem with that is, even if she does feel that way, she may not tell me that because she won't want to hurt me.

Originally posted by Myth
I almost just want to stay close enough to wait until their relationship ends and then pretty much beg for her to come back to me and give me a chance.

Not that I'm going to just wait around. I'm going to try to move on. But if I'm single at the time, I plan on doing anything possible to get her back.

myth i hate to sound like a tag along , but i agree w/ syren hun . regardless of what happens ill be rooting for you .

Oh crap, confused. Don't see any posts by syren so I'm guessing thats a previous name of LVT's.

wOw , im slow . i just realized her name changed .

when did that happen ?

Originally posted by Myth
I understand that he would be jealous. But he needs to respect that she can be friends with who she wants and he is no longer standing in the way of that. I'm currently not calling her because I want to see IF she'll call me first. I go out with friends all of the time. Doesn't mean that I'm not going to be sad when there is nobody around. I feel lonely without her even when I'm with people. 🙁

Originally posted by Daisy Duke
shes not worth your time she doesnt sound like all that

She is the nicest, sweetest person I've ever met. She makes you feel like a better person when you are with her. She's so fun to be around and... I'm just happy when I'm with her. She was perfect.

🙁

Originally posted by Daisy Duke
🙁

Exactly.

maybe you should go to her house with flowers and choclate and get down on your left knee and propose.

Originally posted by Daisy Duke
maybe you should go to her house with flowers and choclate and get down on your left knee and propose.

She has a bf so I'm not in the position to do that.

hug

Random offering of support, I'm not seeing anything from us other than words of advice. In the end, he'll do what he needs to, so I'm taking up the position of PSP (Public Support Post) from here on out.

Originally posted by Lady von Tramp
hug

Random offering of support, I'm not seeing anything from us other than words of advice. In the end, he'll do what he needs to, so I'm taking up the position of PSP (Public Support Post) from here on out.

Yeah. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I just kind of need to voice things out a bit. Post support, advice, opinions, whatever.

Originally posted by Myth
She has a bf so I'm not in the position to do that.