So There's This Girl...

Originally posted by Rabid_Wolverine
why did you guys break up?

Ok, I have time now so gather around for the story of my ex. 🙁 Its a sad depressing tail.

I first met her in the 7th grade. We went out for 4 months after being friends for a month and she dumped me when she went to high school (she's a grade above me). We didn't talk for about 4 years (no reason) but then she ended up taking the same chemistry class as me Junior year (her Senior). I was sat next to somebody that I didn't want to sit by and she was in the same situation. She over heard me saying that I didn't want to sit by that person and she said how bout you sit by me next time and force the other 2 to sit together. So we became lab partners and she started coming over to my house to work on school stuff which led to just hanging out until we started dating. For nearly 2 years, things were perfect. I never had a true fight with her and we got along great. My closest friends even thought that we'd get married someday because even they thought we were perfect for each other. I then moved away to college but it was only 45 minutes away from home. However, she is really needy. She is not like me, she is very very shy. Her "friends" aren't true friends. Just people she has known for a long time but they are really flaky and even she acknowledges how they aren't true friends. So, the only person really there for her was me. She did three things; school, work, and hung out with me. Other than that, she really had no social life which is sad. When I moved away, I could still see her at least 1 time per week so its not like it was a real long-distant relationship. This meant that 6 days out of the week, she sat around being sad that she missed me. She told me of her sadness that had taken over during the month I was gone so I knew that something bad could happen. On September 29 (🙁), she called me and said she couldn't deal with the separation anymore and wanted to see if there was a way to fill that void (meaning she was going to find somebody else to date to fill my shoes for a social life). I tried to be understanding because I honestly believed that she would come to her senses and realize that we were perfect for each other. I now wish I was more direct and tried harder to convince her that she was wrong (don't get me wrong, I told her she was making a mistake). However, I was at a loss for words and it wasn't till later that I realized what I should have said. For one thing, it was the first month of school. I had to have time to adjust and settle in. I would have been able to spend more time with her if given just a little more time but I didn't really know that at the time. There is only 2 ways that I feel she has wronged me in anyway. 1st, is I don't think she gave me enough of a chance. It seems that at the first chance of struggle, she abandoned us and didn't give me enough of a chance to work things out and settle in at school. 2nd, it hurt that she was able to move on so fast. She wanted to try dating other guys to try to fill my shoes and see if she could live without me. But it almost seemed too easy for her which crushed me. She actually was set up on 2 dates (within a couple of weeks) by friends but didn't go with the 2nd guy because the first date went well. She has now dated that guy since. 🙁

😑

Well knock me down with a feather.....

OK, first of all, you're piling all the blame onto her, with regard to the fact that you think she should have given you more time, nada, it seems to me like the separation (however small) was killing her. You made out that you understood the lack of social life and that it saddened you, yet when she needed to move on due to it you blamed her.

Second, where you said that she moved on too fast, I think you're generalising, she hasn't moved on, she's trying something new. Her insecurities and loneliness got the better of her and that shows no reflection on the strength of your relationship.

Put yourself in her shoes babe, it'll help.

And also, give it time, wasn't that what you needed in the first place?

Please forgive me if I'm out of line, but from an unbaised point of view, I think time is all it will take........

a night of "forgiving" poon-tang works for most men...that is if she is in your city or town. if not, then its best if you don't think about poon-tang or that four letter word like...F*uck..oops..i mean..LOVE.

poon tang i love the poon tang

Originally posted by Lady von Tramp
OK, first of all, you're piling all the blame onto her, with regard to the fact that you think she should have given you more time, nada, it seems to me like the separation (however small) was killing her. You made out that you understood the lack of social life and that it saddened you, yet when she needed to move on due to it you blamed her.

Second, where you said that she moved on too fast, I think you're generalising, she hasn't moved on, she's trying something new. Her insecurities and loneliness got the better of her and that shows no reflection on the strength of your relationship.

Your not out of line. However, you do have something wrong. I'm not really piling blame on her as it sounds in my last post. I've had friends tell me it was bullcrap and I stood behind her with what she was doing. I did and do understand why she did what she did. I do not blame her for her intentions for they were just to make her happy again. However, I believe that if she gave me just a little longer, I could have made things right and she would have seen me enough to be happy. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I wish I was just given more of a chance to try. It did kind of seem like she bailed on us at the first sign of a problem though and thats not what you should do in a relationship.

2nd, maybe. I know she was trying to try something new to see if she could be happy with it. But I'm in disbelief that it at least appeared so easy for her to move on with out me. Now I'm not a mind reader, so I don't know how hard it was on her, but it didn't appear to be hard and that makes me sad. You said, "Her insecurities and loneliness got the better of her and that shows no reflection on the strength of your relationship." I'm a little confused by what you meant by this. If you meant that it shows that our relationship wasn't as strong as I thought it was, that makes me sad as well. I'd feel worse knowing that I cared this much about her and found out that I really didn't mean that much to her. I like to believe that I was something that important to her. I can't imagine how I couldn't have been.

God, I think I'm starting to cry right now. 🙁

comfort or thanks..? ( was sussposed 2 be under painkiller, no qoute after a post) 😎

Originally posted by Clark_Kent
a night of "forgiving" poon-tang works for most men...that is if she is in your city or town. if not, then its best if you don't think about poon-tang or that four letter word like...F*uck..oops..i mean..LOVE.

I think you missed that point that she has a new bf.

I get the impression that she needs someone to stand by her all the time.

Originally posted by Storm
I get the impression that she needs someone to stand by her all the time.

Pretty much. But I want that to be me. 🙁

clones can fill the void.

Originally posted by Clark_Kent
clones are great!!

That would be nice.

But it' s not a healthy mentality to base a relationship on. One can' t be that depending on his or her partner.

they cloned a female goat about 5 years ago..so there is a chance..do you have any DNA of any type?

Originally posted by Storm
But it' s not a healthy mentality to base a relationship on. One can' t be that depending on his or her partner.

She needs somebody there to have a social life. But she can do things indepently. She's actually the one who usually took the initiative on things.

Originally posted by Clark_Kent
they cloned a female goat about 5 years ago..so there is a chance..do you have any DNA of any type?

Yeah, I have one of those wound up hair dolls of her that I keep at my little shrine of things that remind me of her.

NO I DON'T HAVE THAT SHIT! YOU THINK I'M SOME WACKO!?!

hey, hey, not to hasty now. its too early. that wacko title belongs above M.Jacksons mug. you should just forget her, she probley forgot you, thus making you a myth..

A couple more things that made me sad. 🙁

Just a little bit before we broke up, I think she started hinting towards getting married. Throughout high school, we kind of shared the same views of marriage. We talked about how dumb it was when peopl got married young. When we saw our peers get engaged, we both expressed how dumb we thought they were. However, I was really believing that I wanted to marry her. A little bit before we broke up, we were talking about Christmas presents. I was telling her something about how its hard to tell what to get her for christmas. She jokingly said, "Well, jewelries always nice." (Don't worry, she's not really that materialistic). I responded that I wanted to get her something that I haven't gotten her before and I've already got her all sorts of jewelry. She responded with, "Not all types of jewelry" and she lifted her hand to show her ring finger. After I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I was going save up enough money to buy a ring and propose to her. Before I knew it, she left me. And this was right before she broke up with me. I think it was one of those "I want to see if we are going somewhere or I'm moving on" type things. So I may have barely missed my chance. 🙁

The thing that bothers me now is, I'm trying to figure out if she really wants to stay friends. I'm thinking its my paranoid personality, but what if I'm wrong? Since we broke up on good terms, we promised to try our best to stay friends and not let future bf/gf's come between our friendship. Well, now it seems that she is trying to drift away from me which is tearing me apart all over again. She kept me close for a while when we first broke up but now I wonder if it was because I was all she knew, and now my shoes are filled so she doesn't seem to need me as much anymore as a friend. There was about 4 months where I didn't even see her because her "schedule" always conflicted. And it started to appear that if she called, it was just her returning my calls. Around March, her bf and his family got a little fed up with her talking to me. She asked me not to call incase he was around but promised that she would call me some nights when he wasn't around. That only lasted a week because I expressed to her how much bullcrap it was to be told that I can't call a friend. I told her that a friend should be able to call whenever because I need a friend to be there for me as well when I need to talk. She convinced her bf that he can't just tell her not to let me call. But the whole arguement that she used against him, was that she made a promise to me and she was going to keep it. It almost sounded like she did it because it was a promise, not because it was me. I'm now starting to think that she only stays friends with me because of the promise. It doesn't appear that she needs me anymore, but I think she realized that I don't want to let her slip 'completely' out of my life. She knows that I want to be as close to her as she'll let me be. Currently, I'm kind of testing to see how true my theories are. We hung out like 2 weeks ago as of Friday. We haven't talked since and its really throwing me off. Its one thing if it were still the school year, but now its summer and I'm home so she knows we could actually hang out if she wanted to get a hold of me. I've initiated most the phone conversations over the last couple months and I want to see if she cares enough about me to call me first. Its killing me. Its been 2 weeks, I'm at home and she knows it, and she still hasn't contacted me. Like I said, maybe I'm paranoid. I want to hear her voice so bad. I keep looking at the phone and just want to call her. I don't know how long I can hold out for her to call me. I'm so depressed right now...

Originally posted by Myth
Yeah, I have one of those wound up hair dolls of her that I keep at my little shrine of things that remind me of her.

[b]NO I DON'T HAVE THAT SHIT! YOU THINK I'M SOME WACKO!?! [/B]