More ripoffs?Please...
I wanna give this a shot and see if its possible to make it original
Spider-Girl
Tanya sat in the back row of the room as the classed slowly piled into the room.She sat wearily tired from just getting up.Her best friend Terry walked in slowly to he walked up to Tanya and sat right next to here."Hi"he said."Hi"Tanya replied back.Neither of them where in the mood to talk.Then Kate walked in.Kate was the second of Tanyas 2 friends.Kate was a nice burnette who always had something to say and could always lighten up the mood.She quickly walked up to Tanya and Terry and cheerfully said while sitting down"How are you guys doing today"."fine"was Tanyas and Terry weak answer."Late night?"she asked.
Tanya and Terry where about to answer when there homeroom teacher Ms Stunner came in.
Tanya and her two friends sat alone at lunch.They werent the most popular kids at school.They sat there Tanya ate her lunch quietly quickly snatching glances at Brad Johnson the most popluar guy in highschool he sat at a full table with all of his friend not ever even glancing at Tanya.Tanya sighed at her dull life what she would give to be going out with Brad.The thought quickly left when she felt someone throwing something at her head.He felt it and she felt gum.She turned around only to Lindsey White the most popular girl in school.She sat there with he innocent smile at said innocently "Oops"she smiled."Urhghgh"Tanya cried as she raced to the bathroom.
After school after Tanya had to cut the gum out of her hair.She passed brad on the way to her locked up bycycle.When she passed by she stop.She didnt know what she was doing but she managed a "Hi brad"brad stoped talking to his friends and looked at Tanya."Well whos this pretty younge lady her presence right before me makes my heart stop and my head fill with emotion".Tanya blushed."NOT!"Brads friends laughed and so did he.Tanya felt like she was gonna cry she quickly unlocked her bycycle and peddled hard towards home.
When she got about 5 blocks away from her house she crashed into a fence.She leaped out head first and landed on the ground.Pain filled her body.She checked to see where she had landed.She looked up and saw a tall white building."Maybe they have a phone I can use"she felt to shooken up to walked home so she thought shed call her mom.She slowly got up after a few seconds and walked towards the door.When she opened the door she saw a big machine and with blue rays traveling into another machine.She saw a scientist in a white coat and a bunch of college students surrounding the machine."Probaly a demonstration"she thought to herself.She noticed a chair behind the class so she sat down her knees where aching.She couldnt see over all the students so she slowly got up and walked towards the front.She didnt understand what the scientist was saying something about turning radioactive energy into electricity.A spider slowly crept down from the ceiling from a web.And it landed right in the middle of the radioactive energy it fell and landed on Tanays arm almost immediatly after it fell it bit her.She felt a sting and shook her hand the spider fell off and crawled away.She immediatly started feeling something weird.She walked outside and started walking her bike home as fast she could feeling sick.When she got home she dropped her bike on the front lawn and walked inside."How was your day today sweetie"her mom asked."Fine"she answered back as she walked upstairs.Her mom knew not to push and when Tanya got to her room she immediatly collasped on the floor.
Storm, quit being such an arrogant little brat. It's not just here, lately you've been doing this everywhere. This forum is for everybody to post their work without being ridiculed and having it poorly re-written. I'm all for constructive criticism, but saying all of somebody's story was bad and then doing a crappy job of writing their own version of it is hardly constructive.
Thanks Darth Revan.
Heres the next bit everybody:
It had been one week since Terry had got even with Neill's killer, but something wasn't right.....the pain still hadn't gone away and the hole in his heart was bigger then ever. Terry mostly kept quiet and to himself, he took long walks and when he wasn't doing that he was shut up in his room. Terry lay on his bed, throwing up the baseball and bringing it back with a strand of web. Tears were beggining to swell in his eyes and silently dribbiling down his cheeks. His thoughts were of his last moments with Neill, every conversation they had. Neill was the closest thing he had to a father, and without him Terry was miserable. He remembered thier brief conversation in which Neill had quoted the words 'if you have a gift then use it wisely, fate gave it to you for a reason.' Terry's thoughts then flickered to the moment were Terry yelled to him 'I hate you!' the words played back over and over again inside Terry's head. He finally snapped and through the ball as hard as he could at the wardrobe, it cracked a hole through the door and rebounded, rolling over the lose floor-board were Terry had kept his design idea. A light clicked on inside his head, he bent down and opened up the floor board. He took out the costume that he had tailor made. A gigantic black spider covered the chest and stomach area, plastic web-lining formed a brick pattern over a good portion of the costume. On the mask were two oval-like white eye pieces, specially designed by Terry so that he could see out but no one could see in. The familiar warm voice echoed inside Terry's head 'if you have a gift, use it wisely.' Terry couldn't take back what he did, but maybe he could use his powers to stop others feeling how he felt. From now on Terry honored Neill's motto and would never forget those words. Today a new hero was born, Spider-Boy...........
The morning sun shone brightly upon the streets of New York, people were going about there business as usaul, most in a hurry to get to work.The hours dragged on and many people began to leave work.
"Clint, shut her down" Mr Cameron ordered. Mr Cameron was a hansome looking young-man, he had blonde hair, brown eyes, and cherry coloured cheeks, he was the manager of the Manhatten Bank. "Yes sir" answered Clint the security guard, twirling the keys to vault in his hand. "Have a good evening" bid one of the leaving customers, Clint who was very-well manored opened the door and let him out, but somebody else came in......He took a minuture device out of his pocket and through it infront of the security desk. It turned out to be a small bomb. The woman working there screamed in terror. More men came out carrying rifles. All of them wearing gas masks for protection against the knock-out that had plagued the room. "Ladys and gentlemen please remain calm" said one of them. Mr Cameron walked out of his office to see what all the comotion was."Get your head down!" yelled one of men at Mr Cameron, pointing the gun ferousiously. "This will all be over in about thirty seconds" said another, he got out his mobile phone and texted 'pick us up!" More men blew open the vault and piled thier bags with money. They went out to the stair-case and shot out some kind of graple which carried them up to the roof-top. A helicopter landed to pick them up. "Like taking candy from a baby!" one crook smirked. In about 10 seconds they were all aboard and flew off, a smile of satisfaction on thier greedy faces. "Sit back and enjoy the ride!" one laughed. They flew between giant sky-scrapers, but they weren't going to escape so easily. BEEP! BEEP! cried the brake system. The helicopter seemed to be being pulled back by something, the helicopter lurched backwards a fair-few yards. It then swung high above the streets, caught between something, the money flew every-where, every single note out the door. "What the?....." asked one man. Examining the strange gooey material the helicopter were trapped in. Between the Impire state-building and another sky-scaper sat a gigantic spider-web, the helicopter just so happened to have flown right into it like a fly. From a few blocks away Spider-Boy watched it beyond his eye-piece, he was now in his costume and ready to kick ass! He lept off the side of a building and released a web-line and swung towards the helicopter, swinging around a corner and futher on. The citizens of New York watched in amazement as a red-and-black figure through a sack of crooks down which attached itself to a light-post. Over the next few days more and more reports came in of a vigilante which seemed to have the exact same powers as Spider-Man but was calling himself 'Spider-Boy'. A gang of crooks robbed a convenient-store, only to see a red-and-black figure come swinging down from the sky and polverise them. At the black of night a man threatened a group of citizens with a gun, only to find the gun plucked out of his hand by a string of web and pulled into the air by a menacing figure. A jewellrey store had a pair of thieves, bloody-and-bruised stuck to the store's side with some kind of sticky-material. Many people were giving eye-witness reports of this masked boy, for everybody knew from his size that he was just a child. Some thought of him as a hero, others, an un-wanted vigilante. But either way Terry knew he had to do this, everyday he was out there using his powers to help others, he foiled about 8 robberys a day and 3 accident-helpings a day. He had finally found a way to make the guilt of Neill's death fade away.
By being an arrogant little brat... Mostly in the unhosted RP forum. Go read through some of your posts over the past week or so. Like the one in the new game thread where somebody asked if they could start a game, and you said "No 🙂", yet here you are trying to start another real life game. There were other posts too, but I can't think of anything specifically other than that.
Chill out it was only a segment of what an original story looked like I had no intention of writing more and I didnt do it to be mean.I just was bored and didnt feel like making a new thread so I just posted it here for fun 😬 dont make it a big deal either and act like it ruined your whole replica of a story.
I said "No" mostly because I hated the movie and I was speaking for Ush,because you have to get approval from players before you ask Ush and so far you havent.
And please dont call me an "arrogant brat" if that is a comment towards my age I dont appreciate it.And so far I havent been treating anybody bad except SlickRick because he was trying to screw up the Sunny Day Valley RPG along with a few others of mine.
Dont come back 😑 its forum for crying out loud,but if you insist I wont post rude comments anymore just read you perfectly original story which I have enjoyed very much.Im very eager to see whats in for Spider-Boys future.Oh wait I can just go watch the movie for that.
My post are called critism dont like it then post your story where people cant reply possibly via email.There also called opinion maybe youve heard of them.
Well instead of saying it's a rip-off all you needed to say was 'I didn't like it. You should try and make it less like Spider-Man' you are very rude and an arragant little brat. You are becoming widely un-popular among these forums as I've seen others post, now stop clogging my thread with useless posts.
Yes, I know you have to get approval from Ush for games, I know him better than you do, thank you. You can't "speak for him" because you have no idea whether he will approve the game or not. I'm not calling you an arrogant brat because of your age. You would be acting like an arrogant brat whether you were 13 or 50.
There is no difference between "it was a ripoff" and "it was too much like Spiderman"... Except for people have these things, called emotions... And when you diss somebody's hard work, these emotion things tend to get a little hurt...
Ush can speak for himself, theres no need for your input. You say you have a life when you've got nothing better to do then tell others how to think and act. Quit posting here Stormy Day, you are making my story go off-topic. Here's the next bit:
Terry took a deep breath and inhailed the smell of the flaming-hot pizza with utter delite. "Mmmmmmm......" Dave licked his lips. It was a typical thursday afternoon and Terry, Sora, and Dave decided to catch up and have something to eat. They each snatched up a piece of pizza and gobbled it down then reached for more. "So Terry what have you been up to lately? I can barely get hold of you or see you" Sora asked. Terry swollowed, "I've just been really busy" he answered. Ever since he became Spider-Boy there wasn't much time for friends or TV, fighting crime took over all of that. "Your so mysterious all the time" Dave remarked.
"I'll say!" Sora agreed. Terry didn't know what else to say but was spared the thought when a pack of police cars went howling down the street outside. "Oh shoot! I have to help my Mom with shopping" Terry stood up and sprinted off. "Terry wait!" Sora called. Terry tried to lose her in the crowd of people but she caught up to him. "We should catch up for lunch tomorrow" she said. Terry nodded. "Meet me at the Food-Colloseum on top of the building on the east side. Terry hurried another nod and sprinted down the alley-way. He pulled out his mask and gloves then yanked them on. He took off his civilian clothes to reveal his red-and-black costume. He leaped onto the roof top, released a web-line and swung off, following the roar of sirens. "Lets see...." said Spider-Boy swinging around the libraury. He heard the call of many people yelling 'hey! isn't that Spider-Boy!?" and others took out thier cameras. "I've covered robberys, fires, road-rage, car-crashes" Spider-Boy ticked off in his head. The poilce cars haulted to a stop and Spider-Boy took refuge on the top of an apartment building. About seven or eight men in grey uniforms hooned out of gun store and clambered into thier van. But Spider-Boy was too quick for them. He leaped from his perch and landed on the van. He crawled upside down and peeked through the window. "Are you guys gonna come out of there willingly or do I have to get out my can-opener?" he joked.
"How about I let my gun do the talking?" the crook answered. He took out his rifle and fired bullets at Spider-Boy. Using his spider-sense he dodged them easily. The crooks saw thier oppertunity and speed-away, Spidey-Boy attached a glob of web to a lamp post and pulled himself hurtiling into the air, before hitting the ground he released another web-line and swung away in a grace-ful arc, the police watched in amazement as Spidey-Boy swung out of thier view. The chase went all-over manhatten, Spider-Boy repeated landing on the truck but had to jump off to avoide the reign of bullets. Exhausted and tired, he lost his energy and the crooks escaped. Spidr-Boy landed on the side of a building and crawled to the top. He layed down and waited for his energy to come back. Who were those men? Terry asked himself as he went back to get his ordinary clothes. They were obviously part of some gang, but what gang?
MORE SOON (if Stormy Day doesn't keep interupting)