Spider-Boy (please read)

Originally posted by BlackC@t
He finally swung on top of a down-town building. Sora laughed gently, the feeling of swinging was fun and igzilerating. "Well it's kinda scary but it's faster then a car or train!" Spider-Boy remarked. Sora laughed at his little joke. "Well I gotta go, see ya!" he ran to the edge and was about to leap off when Sora cried "Wait!.......will I ever see you again?" she asked.
"If your ever in trouble" he cracked yet another joke. Spider-Boy sumer-saulted off the building, plummeted a few feet then released a web-line. "Woooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo!!!!" he screamed with delite while releasing more webbing. Sora watched in amazement until he was far form view............

MORE SOON.

Im not trying to critisize you but this whole part was a ripoff its hard for me to read this story when all it seems like is a basic screenplay of Spider-Man just with different characters.

Saying that you wont take my advice is just being stubborn.

i am sorry but i have to agree with stormy day on this one. its just so predictible for those people who have seen spider-man the movie

Already

-Spider-Mans got bitten on a class field trip(like movie)
-This guy Neill got killed and and it worked out almost exactly like the movie
-The excerpt where Peter brings M.J. to the roof to use the elevators after just escaping death is from Spider-Man

Those are just a few who knows how many more there are.I havent read the whole story 😖

It's the same BACKSTORY, thinking it over I should have made him been bit my a irradiated-spider......oh well. Here' the next bit:

James stared at the light-grey armoured suit. They would all pay, treating him like some sort of lab rat, he would get revenge alright. The Mayor......the man that had funded the whole project, it was his fault James was like this, he had his gang, tomorrow at the Mayors election speech his gang would wreak havoc among the people, and then Cornel Doom would come by and finish the rest..........James let out a shrill cold laughter that didn't suit him, it was the laugh of a evil, and a new enemy for young Terry............

Terry pushed open the door to Pizza Palace with a handful of dollar bills stuffed in his pocket. It was lunch time and Terry had been sent to get something for lunch by his Mum. "Hey Terry! Terry!" somebody called his named. Terry scanned the crowd of hungry customers, looking for the person that called his name. His eyes gazed open Ling who waved her hands madly. Terry waved back. "Come sit with us!" she called. Terry swallowed hard and then plucking up his courage he went to go and sit with them. Ling seemed to be catching up with a group of friends Terry had never meet before, they they all seemed nice. As the minutes dragged by Terry began to settle down and feel more comfortable around everybody else. His only hope was that he wouldn't be interrupted by the sound of ambulances or police syriens. But to his delite his little party wasn't interrupted at all. Finally, everbody grew tired and said that they had other things to do. They stood up and left, leaving Terry and Ling all alone. "I'll walk with ya" Ling said warmly, Terry nodded and went to go get more pizzas. The walk home wasn't as bad as he expected, but to his dismay they had to cross through a huge crowd of people listening to the Mayor give his campaign speech. "Oh can we stop and listen?" Ling asked. But unfortunately Terry didn't want to listen to some old moron talk about nothing. But something made him say "yes." Boredom swept over Terry liked waves, he was even thinking of leaving when his spider-sense tingled in his head. But it wasn't like anything he felt before, it was strong and very painful, something very dangerous must be approaching. The answer finally came to him when a giant card-board tank came slowly around the corner, it was grey and almost as big as a small building. The Mayor stopped and everybody turned thier attention onto the tank. They all began to fill with excitement and curiosity. But not Terry, he knew this was bad news. One of the Mayors assistant began to talk about this mysterious object, but Terry wasn't lisening. The box began to rip and hundreds of men jumped out, wearing grey uniforms, some carrying guns and on motorcycles. Some of these were the same men that had escaped Terry in the truck. People screamed as the men began to beat others up and speed around people on thier motorcycles. One even ran up to Terry and laughed in his face, instead of saying something Terry let his fist do the talking. While no-one was looking he sent out a web-line at two men on thier motorbikes and yanked them off. Two came hooning up behind Terry. But thanks to his spider-sense he was fore-warned, he stuck out both arms and clothes-lined the men, thier bikes kept going but they fall off un-consious. Terry ran off and tore down an alley-way, pulling off his clothes to reveal his Spider-costume..........

MORE SOON.

well atleast he didnt come on his glider like the movie

Kernol Doom hasn't even arrived yet 🤨, and I'm getting mighty tired of you guys comparing it to Spider-Man.

Originally posted by The Ones
well atleast he didnt come on his glider like the movie

lol

FvJ,we have to tell you these things,if you dont want replys then you shouldnt have posted your story,but I bet you would like it if somebody gave you a positive comment.

I liked that part well written 🙂

Stormeister you don't HAVE to do anything, the point is your being repetitive, you've posted those comments a million times.

I dont want to argue with you anymore.Just write your story and if I see something thats not right ill tell you about it 🙂

Okay, so long as it's not 'what a spider-man rip-off' other suggestions will be taken though. I'll post more tomorrow.

I might say what a ripoff and what isnt,but im eargerly waiting for your next segment 🙂

I can't be bothered posting it now so it will either be tonight or tomorrow, honest.

liar eek2

😛

Tonight

You Lied 🙁

I waiting for hours last night for the next piece.You know what you should do it write your segments in advance 🙂

Sorry, I've been REALLY busy the past few days, I promise I'll write it tomorrow, honest to God I'll write it after I get up tomorrow morning.

liar

Finally, here's the next bit:

Spider-Boy released a web-line and swung around out into the open. People pointed and cheered him on, while others shrieked "Menace!" Many people had successfully escaped, but the goons were still causing chaos. Spider-Boy landed in the street, picking out his next victims. Many of the goons surrounded him and took it in turns to try and take the boy out. One came running at him with a knife, Spider-Boy leaped over him then swung his leg at the goons leg, sending him falling to the ground. Spider-Boy picked him up and through him against the side of a building, rendering the goon un-consious. A wave of angry goons charged at Spider-Boy, shooting guns and throwing knives. Spider-Boy jumped into the air and let-lose a bunch of stunning acrobatic combos, knocking out eleven goons without touching the ground. He lept onto the shoulders of the nearest goon, put his hands on the ground while upside down, and shook his legs widely, throwing the goon against a window, shards of glass flew in every direction. KA-BOOM! an explosion went off on a near-by roof-top. Spider-Boy looked up in horror as a bill-board fell from the sky, falling towards an un-aware innocent by-stander. Spider-Boy dashed towards the woman, leapt into the air and flew in the direction of the her. He grabbed her around the waist, while jumping, they both escaped the site seconds before the board hit the ground. The woman thanked him and ran for dear life. Spider-Boy's spider-sense went off with a jolt, he ducked as steel-bullets passed by his head, missing it by milli-metres. More bullets came a him, but he dodged them easily. He took out the men who had fired at him, and many more. One horrified goon jumped into a car and locked the door. Spider-Boy jumped onto the roof and hung up-side down. "Are you gonna come outta there willingly, or do I have to get out my can-opener?" he asked. He smashed his hand through the window and knocked out the goon. There was only one left, the terrified goon took off, running away from the boy in tights. But Spider-Boy was too quick for him, 'thwip!' he attached a web-line onto the goon and grappled him into his hands. "Who sent you!?" Spider-Boy shouted.
"P-please d-d-don't hurt me! it was C-cernol Doom!" to Spider-Boy it sounded like some sort of military-man, but he was still un-sure. His spider-sense let off a sharp warning, the air began to pick up and the wind howled in both the goon's and Spider-Boy's ears. Spider-Boy heard the sound of heavy feet land on the ground behind him and the wind began to sease. The goon escaped Spider-Boys clutches and sprinted off, a herd of bullets flew passed him and took out the goon, who fell to the ground as motionless as death......."Cowered...." a deep, grumbiling voice said from behind. Spider-Boy turned around and his mouth dropped from behind his mask. A huge, bulky man stood about 50 metres infront of him. He was wearing a think, grey suit equiptted with guns, grenades, and rifles. On his back sat a shiny-grey jet-pack, with some kind of spike sticking out from the top. So he DID look miliatry-like. The man wore some kind of grey helmet which made it impossile to tell who he really was. The man was huge, Spider-Boy only just came above his waist. "These yours?" Spider-Boy asked, looking around at the hundreds of un-consious goons. The man nodded. "You must be Spider-Boy?" he asked.
"And you must be Cernol Doom?" Spider-Boy replied. "Tch! come on! get real! I mean, your not even scary!" Spider-Boy mocked. The only piece of face you could see of the man's was his mouth, which twisted in disgust. "I don't usually approve of killing children but for you I can make an exception" Cernol Doom held up his arm which had some kind of big watch with mini-missles on it. "Dodge this, midget!" The Cernol cried. One-by-one, rockets sprang forth from the watch. Slowly walking foward, Spider-Boy twisted and turned to avoid the rockets, they passed him and hurtled off into the sky. Spider-Boy sumer-saulted over The Cernol and grabbed onto his back, he let off a series of punches. The Cornel's first instinct was to laugh, the formula he had used was mean't to make him invanurable and strong, nothing was meant to hurt him. But this kid was definetly not normal, his attacks hurt A LOT. The Cernol quickly reached behind to grab onto Spider-Boy, but his spider-sense saw it coming and he leapt off. Cernol Doom's jet-pack sprang to life with sparks and flashes, he flew forth and kneed the wall-crawler right in the stomach, his spider-sense was to slow to see this coming. He flew through the window of a convienient store and into a shelf full of soft-drinks. Soda went everywhere, that also hurt a lot, he felt his ribs to make sure they weren't broken. The Cernol hovered into the store but Spider-Boy scurried out of sight. Cernol Doom kicked and through shelves against the wall looking for Spider-Boy. "Hey freak-show!" Cernol Doom looked in the direction of the voice and cans of food flew at his face. Spider-Boy through everything in reach at The Cernol, trying to bring him down. Another rocket sprang from The Cernol's watch staright towards Spider-Boy, but he leaped from his place and clung to the wall. The rocket collided with the concrete road and let off a mighty explosion which cracked the sewers below. From the ceilling, Spider-Boy looked around for the diobolical mad-man, but he only saw a gigantic hole in the roof meters from where he clung to. His spider-sense went off, but again he was to slow. The Cernol came down from the roof and flattened Spider-Boy to the ground. A winded Spider-Boy gasped for air, trying to get out from under Cernol Doom, The Cernol laughed in madness. "Squashed like a bug!" he joked. Spider-Boy's fingers scanned the ground for some sort of weapon, his fingers came upon a pocket knife which he jammed into The Cernols leg. Cernol Doom yelped in pain as he jumped up and let the blood splatter to the floor. But The Cernol's skin was so tough that the blade barely penetrated it. Seeing his chance, Spider-Boy leapt onto his body and kicked and puched everywhere he could reach. He scuttled all over the Cernol's body, making him shriek in pain. Cernol Doom grabbed the child and through him outside, he eventually collided with the opposite building. Cernol Doom flew straight at Spider-Boy, his body horozontile like a torpedo. Spider-Boy back-flipped and landed on The Cernols back. He puched the jet-pack as much and as hard as he could. Sparks began to fly from it. The Cernols body began to fly around like some sort of rag-doll. He zoomed off, his jet-pack out of control, finally screeching the words "I'll get you next time! next time Spider-Boy!" Spider-Boy looked around and breathed a sigh of relief, only two people had seen thier little 'Clash of the Titans.' Seirens from police cars filled the night air, he let off a web-line and swung off into the alley to grab the pizzas and then swung towards home.

Quite good

But didnt you already use the can-opener line?