Homosexuality: Chosen or Genetic?

Started by dadudemon324 pages
Originally posted by Devil King
Nope, no spite. I just wish she was more comfortable with who i am, which she is in private and around family, but she doesn't know how to address the reality of the situation when she's around others. She's affraid. That's human.

I can see how that would disappoint you. Try talking to her about it. Ask her to stand up for you more and accept you publicly.

Originally posted by Devil King
i would imagine it's the same thing that keeps you from trying out being gay, when you think it's so easy to choose to be such.

Do you want to get personal? Maybe your girlfriend or your mother or your child?

You can't make one post to me without some sort of insult? Why? I was being nice to you in a genuine way.

And what does the last part mean about girlfriend, mother, or child? I am married with two children. Don't you remember?

Originally posted by queeq
It didn't, I just saw a certain parrallel in method of 'debating' about stuff.

I see what you did there.

You did?

Originally posted by queeq
You did?

I thought it as obvious...but it would seem DK interpreted it a different way.

Of course.

*starts singing: Twist and shout*

Originally posted by dadudemon
I was being nice to you in a genuine way.

No, you were implying that I had issues with my mother and that I was talking shit about her. It's a way of implying something without actually saying it. Call that tisting if you need Queeq to think for you, but you knew what you were doing. She has no issues with me being gay, she has issues with other people knowing she has a gay son. I don't need to ask her to publically accept me. My only issue is that I'm in my 20's; she's in her 50's and was raised in a much less progressive south. If my gandmother were still alive, she'd act the same way. She doesn't have any issue with my orientation, but she likes to use that same bullshit republican (and this is what I meant Feceman) cop-out that my sexuality or the sexuality of her son is no one else's business. Well, that's bull shit. When asked how I am by those who aren't "in the know", she should tell them it's none of their business, if being gay OR being straight in no one's business. But she doesn't. She tells them I'm fine and that no I haven't gotten married. See, it's only "no one's busiess" when they ask about me. When people ask about my brother, she tells them he's great, married with two kids and a business that's doing very well. This reality doesn't mean that I have issues with her, or that she's not supportive of me; she is. But it's that same generational difference that keeps gay men her age sleazing around on the net or being affraid to have a real relationship because someone they work with might see them out with someone they're dating. It's that generational difference that keeps gay men her age thinking they're only gay in a chat room or in the back room of a club. It's that fear that keeps people like Larry Craig engaging in sleazy behavior in a public bathroom that makes the front page and portrays gay men as dark, seedy charaacters that sink about in the shadows trying to steal your children and stalking rest stops.

That was really 2 different issues that kind of feed into each other. My mother is scared of me being judged by the other person. This is why I responded to Robtard about "blaming the mother". My response illustrated her sense of humor about the program we were talking about. It has nothing to do with her "really being all that bad".

Originally posted by Devil King
No, you were implying that I had issues with my mother and that I was talking shit about her. It's a way of implying something without actually saying it. Call that tisting if you need Queeq to think for you, but you knew what you were doing.

No, dude. It was genuine concern. I don't know what goes through your mind...but regardless of how heated a debate is, we should be mature enough to put that stuff behind us when we talk about serious personal things. This seemed like a real concern of yours and I was genuinely interested on your thoughts. If I gave off the impression that I thought you were talking shit about her, I apologize. My concern was more or else a clarification request on your feelings. I even told you that I couldn't be as strong as you.

I talk to people on here more than I talk to my REAL friends. I consider you at the very least, an acquaintance. If you express concern or I think there might be something wrong, I am willing to help or listen.

Originally posted by Devil King
She has no issues with me being gay, she has issues with other people knowing she has a gay son. I don't need to ask her to publically accept me. My only issue is that I'm in my 20's; she's in her 50's and was raised in a much less progressive south. If my gandmother were still alive, she'd act the same way. She doesn't have any issue with my orientation, but she likes to use that same bullshit republican (and this is what I meant Feceman) cop-out that my sexuality or the sexuality of her son is no one else's business. Well, that's bull shit. When asked how I am by those who aren't "in the know", she should tell them it's none of their business, if being gay [b]OR being straight in no one's business. But she doesn't. She tells them I'm fine and that no I haven't gotten married. See, it's only "no one's busiess" when they ask about me. When people ask about my brother, she tells them he's great, married with two kids and a business that's doing very well. This reality doesn't mean that I have issues with her, or that she's not supportive of me; she is. But it's that same generational difference that keeps gay men her age sleazing around on the net or being affraid to have a real relationship because someone they work with might see them out with someone they're dating. It's that generational difference that keeps gay men her age thinking they're only gay in a chat room or in the back room of a club. It's that fear that keeps people like Larry Craig engaging in sleazy behavior in a public bathroom that makes the front page and portrays gay men as dark, seedy charaacters that sink about in the shadows trying to steal your children and stalking rest stops.

That was really 2 different issues that kind of feed into each other. My mother is scared of me being judged by the other person. This is why I responded to Robtard about "blaming the mother". My response illustrated her sense of humor about the program we were talking about. It has nothing to do with her "really being all that bad". [/B]

That makes a lot more sense now that you've gone into detail. You didn't have to share something that personal but I appreciate you trusting me enough with information.

That is really mature on your part to realize that she comes from a different generation. Sometimes, it takes decades for a child to let their parent have weaknesses. To realize what you have realized at such a young age tells a lot about you.

I'm not sure it implies a measure of personal trust, otherwise I would have replied in private. It really doesn't keep me up at night or anything. Especially since her actions are motivated from personal concern for me, not for her image.

Originally posted by dadudemon

I appreciate you trusting me enough with information.

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he posted it on a public forum

Originally posted by Devil King
she likes to use that same bullshit republican (and this is what I meant Feceman) cop-out that my sexuality or the sexuality of her son is no one else's business. Well, that's bull shit.

Well it is no one else's business, is it? Unless you want her coworkers prying about your personal life.

To suddenly butt into a conversation...

Originally posted by Quiero Mota
Well it is no one else's business, is it? Unless you want her coworkers prying about your personal life.
I think the implication is that there's a difference between not advertising that her son is gay, and deliberately implying that he's straight.

Not that I could possibly judge his mother from those few sentences, but it seemed that by saying things like "and he's still not married", it seemed to imply that he was straight... defining point between keeping up a facade and just avoiding the topic.

Originally posted by Quiero Mota
Well it is no one else's business, is it? Unless you want her coworkers prying about your personal life.

then the same should apply for everyone else in her life, right?

So you want them to ask about you and be told that you're gay?

Originally posted by Quiero Mota
So you want them to ask about you and be told that you're gay?

No; you're approaching this as though I'm saying she should hand out a flyer when she addresses the question. I dated Adam, or others you might not know, for years, and she never once said that I was dating an intelligent, capable guy; she simply said that I hadn't gotten married and settled down or even acknowledged a relationship of an kind. In casual conversation, a relationship is implied when asking about one's child, but not, apparently if the other person in the questioned relationship is a member of the same sex. I'm not saying she needs to explain the mechanics of gay sex or homosexual relationships (neither of hich I think she truly understands), just that the pronoun used not be the defining characteristic of an honest answer to an innocent question. When my brother was dating his wife, I'd not yet come out, but the question was always answered with a measure of honesty in regards to gender as well as reality, not avoidence or topic-changing. In fact, my mother was more than willing to employ her personal opinion of my sister-in-law in relaying the answer to the question. And this isn't neccessarily a pointed accusation at my own mother, but of everyone of that generation; that's why I included the point about guys of that generation being creepy.

Dramagasms make me laugh.

Originally posted by Zeal Ex Nihilo
Dramagasms make me laugh.

Sure, if you like. if that makes you feel better about judging my points, go ahead.

Originally posted by Schecter
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he posted it on a public forum

Thanks for the info....yes, I already knew that. DK already divulged the contents of a PM that I thought should remain between us.... I thought of this before I typed those words and came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter to DK where he posted that information...

note: he still answered my question and it WAS personal...I appreciated him answering me. Is that okay with you?

Originally posted by dadudemon
Thanks for the info....yes, I already knew that. DK already divulged the contents of a PM that I thought should remain between us.... I thought of this before I typed those words and came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter to DK where he posted that information...

note: he still answered my question and it WAS personal...I appreciated him answering me. Is that okay with you?

what was supposed to remain private? You baiting me? This is why I know what you're doing isn't the whole innocent, disinterested 3rd party, concerend only with amicable outsomes, persona you use to deflect any responsablity from yourself "thing" doesn't fly with me.

Originally posted by Devil King
what was supposed to remain private? You baiting me? This is why I know what you're doing isn't the whole innocent, disinterested 3rd party, concerend only with amicable outsomes, persona you use to deflect any responsablity from yourself "thing" doesn't fly with me.

You're really starting to develop a dislike of dadudemon, aren't you?

Originally posted by dadudemon
Thanks for the info....yes, I already knew that. DK already divulged the contents of a PM that I thought should remain between us.... I thought of this before I typed those words and came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter to DK where he posted that information...

note: he still answered my question and it WAS personal...I appreciated him answering me. Is that okay with you?


Dude, he totally lurves you because you're his trusted BFF.

YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL. YOU'RE NOT UNIQUE. YOU'RE NOT ONE-OF-A-KIND. YOU'RE NOT MAGICALLY AWESOME AND TOTALLY KEWL BECAUSE YOU'RE INVOLVED IN FORUM DRAMA THAT INCLUDES PERSONAL INFORMATION.

Originally posted by Quiero Mota
You're really starting to develop a dislike of dadudemon, aren't you?

Not really.

Originally posted by Zeal Ex Nihilo
Dude, he totally lurves you because you're his trusted BFF.

YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL. YOU'RE NOT UNIQUE. YOU'RE NOT ONE-OF-A-KIND. YOU'RE NOT MAGICALLY AWESOME AND TOTALLY KEWL BECAUSE YOU'RE INVOLVED IN FORUM DRAMA THAT INCLUDES PERSONAL INFORMATION.

You're not the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. You're not your ****ing khakis.