This is gonna get ugly.

When married couples travel they share the same last name on passports, airplane tickets etc and when they don't share the same name it can be confusing to airlines and businesses when you papers say you're married but you have different last names.

Originally posted by David Duchovony
Well how many people agree with the societal norm of a woman taking a man's last name. I mean I can trace my family history better than any woman ever could. I think women SHOULD take their husband's name though if they don't it really complicates things like taxes, trips etc.
So what do you guys think?

That's cool, do what you want to.

I don't think they have to but they should. I would be offended if they didn't want my name. It is socially what I have come to expect.

Why not ask the reversed question. Why should (hypothetically speaking) a man not take over his wife' s surname?

Some men do.

The answer to your question is because it's simply tradition for the male to carry on the name of his family and all that crap.

Originally posted by David Duchovony
When married couples travel they share the same last name on passports, airplane tickets etc and when they don't share the same name it can be confusing to airlines and businesses when you papers say you're married but you have different last names.

Where the hell does on a pasport ask if you're married or not? And cant girlfriend and boyfriend go on holiday together? What about freinds? Who asks whom if they're married, maybe they're having an afair...beside the point, its still rediculous.

And if someone asked me to give them the stupidest reason why a woman should take husbands name - that would be it.

Originally posted by Goth_Girl
yea it is going to get nasty.
i do NOT want to take my husbands name if i everget married because a women sould have a right to keep there name if they want to.
I like my surname hawthorne is a cool1.

I would be offended (not to be mean, you can do what you want). But it sounds like you want to keep your name as a protest or for some other selfish reason. People are breaking tradition just to make a point which I find to be stupid. Its like saying, "Sorry honey, but I have to make a point by not taking your name and disgracing your family."

Names are very much a part of a person' s identity and heritage. If you feel that the refusal of your wife to take over your name is disgracing your family, then accepting the name is like your wife is disgracing hers.

Originally posted by Myth
I would be offended (not to be mean, you can do what you want). But it sounds like you want to keep your name as a protest or for some other selfish reason. People are breaking tradition just to make a point which I find to be stupid. Its like saying, "Sorry honey, but I have to make a point by not taking your name and disgracing your family."

You don't have any males in your family??? Unlces, cousins with the same last name?

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Where the hell does on a pasport ask if you're married or not? And cant girlfriend and boyfriend go on holiday together? What about freinds? Who asks whom if they're married, maybe they're having an afair...beside the point, its still rediculous.

And if someone asked me to give them the stupidest reason why a woman should take husbands name - that would be it.

Don't get all excited, and it is confusing when people tell insurance companies that they are married and have last names. A woman having her last name could be a liability when, she might have a lot of trouble getting the money she deserves.

Originally posted by Myth
I would be offended (not to be mean, you can do what you want). But it sounds like you want to keep your name as a protest or for some other selfish reason. People are breaking tradition just to make a point which I find to be stupid. Its like saying, "Sorry honey, but I have to make a point by not taking your name and disgracing your family."

I strongly agree. women are getting carried away these days. aside from this issue, tha things most women want nowadays are actually NOT equal to wut men have.

There are many reasons why this is...one for example is that as a gender, they feel a "freedom high" when they are breaking a traditional rule. its like when you get your first job and your money isn't just from your parents, or when you get your first apartment....you feel free and on your own without ANYONE even SLIGHTLY above you. to be honest, if i was female...i would sit here and type "OMG I'M SOOO KEEPING MY NAME". noone wants to feel oppressed, take any kid for example and tell him/her they cant like girls/guys cuz he/she is too young - they'll definitely not like anyone telling them that.

We guys can't understand it because we're...well...GUYS. women aren't stupid, but they are usually oblivious to wut causes them to think in tha ways they do - if they are right [in their mind] it HAS to be tha only way and it HAS to be right by all means.

Many of you said it didn't matter, in actuality - everything matters. it would surely be a huge slap in my face if she rejected my name. also, there is no just reason for doing so. many of you didn't understand tha concept of "if she doesn't take tha name she prolly likes other guys"...wut i think he/she meant was that even though its not a direct clear statement...that wife is suggesting something unacceptable [and i know women get flared when there are boundaries...but face it there ARE boundaries, there HAS to be, and WE HAVE THEM TOO].

If you decide to not take his name just so you can rebel...you are increcibly influenced by stupid women who go too far to get their sence of freedom high. if you decide his name is ugly, then you're simply a ***** for going against a tradition because his name isn't to your liking - you might aswell slap him everytime you explain to someone that you kept your own name.

I agree that some things were unfair to women [AND AM GLAD THOSE WERE CHANGED], and that feeling of triumph over oppressors or wut i call "freedom high" has created a new false sense of rightiousness in tha new generations of women. its just gone WAY too far.

I'm not saying shut tha **** up and go to tha kitchen, i'm saying babe open your eyes and just love me back.

Originally posted by David Duchovony
You don't have any males in your family??? Unlces, cousins with the same last name?

Well that's cool. Now that you explained it.

ok cool.

id never force it on her but id be dissapointed if she refused, but luckily in my case she told me she'd be honoured to take it, yippee!

*dances around room like giddy child*

seriously though, its tradition, and goth i agree with u pretty much.

Originally posted by Storm
Names are very much a part of a person' s identity and heritage. If you feel that the refusal of your wife to take over your name is disgracing your family, then accepting the name is like your wife is disgracing hers.

Except for people don't view it as a disgrace. Stepping out of the norm is what is frowned upon.

Originally posted by Myth
Except for people don't view it as a disgrace. Stepping out of the norm is what is frowned upon.

Then perhaps it's "the norm" that needs to be changed.

I personally don't care either way. If I ever get married I'm not going to give two pieces of rat shit whether she wants to have my name or not, it's her decision and I definately see where she's coming from. I wouldn't want to change my last name, so I'm not going to try and make her do it just because it's "the norm".

If she does want to, that's fine. Either way it's a trivial matter to me.

I agree that it would be fine if it weren't the norm. And maybe the norm should change. But I'm a guy who likes to do many things based on tradition, so 'for me', I would be offended. I'm not saying people can't do it. Sort of like, the "norm" wedding includes a white dress, tuxedo, big fancy cake, and the whole celebration that I'm sure most of you invision as well. I am just one of the people not willing to step out of tradition for certain occasions. Traditional marriage (the norm) is important to me. Therefore, I would be offended by any woman who claims to love me yet is unwilling to take my last name.