Well Mr. Slipknot, your problem is that you have too many movies on your list of favorite movies. I find it improbable that someone with only eight favorite actors listed would genuinely be a big fan of so many movies. I get the feeling that someone in your home or residence is forcing you to list all these films, perhaps using a shotgun or plastic explosives. There may even be multiple people doing so. Perhaps these "people" are not real people at all, but hallucinations. So your treatment plan should go as follows:
1. Stop eating mushrooms
2. If, after you have not ingested any hallucinogenics for a period of 48 hours, the people do not disappear, there is a great possibility that they are real people. I presume you have a shotgun of your own stored within easy reach. If you do not, I believe you are genuinely screwed.
3. If you have found the people to be real, threaten them with your shotgun. An easy method for doing so is outlined as follows:
-hold the weapon as you normally would to fire a shot
-cycle the action--this makes a menacing "click-click" sound that is likely to frighten off any criminals
-if they are armed with shotguns of their own, fend them off by bringing the butt of your weapon into one of the offender's chins
-once they know you mean business they will probably leave. It's a little known fact that 98% of shotgun-bearing criminals do not actually have their firearms loaded.
Originally posted by drunk_nazgul
I worship a human being just because he's so aweshome. =^^=Is there anything wrong with bowing to the music-lord Binky?
I've certainly never heard of him, so yes. Worship Maynard. Maynard is the one true god. RATM are good to worship if you're in the mood for joining a cult.
Lianslo> Well, there's nothing wrong with you, as I have been feeling sick as well and there is never anything wrong with me.
Tpt> *smack* I found that picture on Google, thank you very much. schmoll
What I'd say is wrong with you is that you spend too much time on KMC. As I have mentioned before, this is probably the cause of deep-seated boredom, and down the line could be a cause of a host of other deep-seated problems with longer names. Remember, the longer the name of your problem is, the worse the problem. And problems that are tied together by the word "host" as I just did are the worst kind. The solution? A shotgun, my good man, a shotgun. Learn from Strongbad here:
http://homestarrunner.com/sbemail118.html
Though the problem was different, the solution is the same in both cases. 👆
Originally posted by Jackie Malfoy
Comes in and lies down on couch! "Ok doctor it is like this,I hate this girl at school and she hates me what should I do?"JM
Your plan of action should go as follows:
1. Steal a bar of sodium from the chemistry storeroom, wrap it in paper towels, cram it down her throat, and run like hell.
If that doesn't work, or you can't find any sodium...
2. Hire the lead singer of Lamb of God to come kidnap her. One of two things will happen--she will become a groupie for various thrash-metal bands, or their concerts will scare her so much that she'll die of fear. Either way, you got rid of her.
If you lack the funds to hire the lead singer of Lamb of God, hire the lead singer of Slipknot. He is not as frightening, but he will do the job. Well, okay, let's pretend you don't have the money to hire a scary musician at all. This last one should be used ONLY AS A LAST RESORT. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT ACCOMPLISH ONE OF THE ABOVE.
3. Go to your school counselor, and inform him/her of the issue. He/she will probably invite the two of you in for a chat and the issue will be resolved soon.
Originally posted by Silver Stardust
😂You like bars of sodium, don't you Nivek 😛
Hell yes! droolio
Vampy> I think your fear of unsanitary things could be a very rationalized condition stemming from a fear of leprosy, or maybe Ebola. Do you have leprosy or Ebola? Because if you do, go away, you're screwed and nothing I can tell you will help. However, chances are it's totally irrational and retarded, meaning I can do something.
The problem: Fear of unsanitary objects
The solution: Exposure. The only way to overcome your fear of bacteria, dirt, and slime mold is to expose yourself to it. Twice a day, roll in a mud puddle and when you are completely covered, spend half an hour lying face down in it until it dries up and gets all nasty and cracked. Stand up, and hire a chimpanzee to clean the dried mud off. Use worms for added effect. Another thing you could try is spending a night in a Nicaraguan hut made of palm fronds. You'll either get bitten by an assassin beetle and die of Chagas disease, or overcome your fear of uncleanliness. Or, even better, volunteer at your local homeless shelter.