Pacmanism and Rage-Aholicism are two religions that are difficult to participate in simultaneously. Are you having nightmares of Zack de la Rocha busting slugs at the Pac-man ghosts? I thought so.
Try alternating religions. The first week, abstain from Pac-man, and the second week, have a Rage-fast. Never, ever, ever play Pac-man while listening to Rage! This will cause a "high" unmatched in all the world! And... OH MY GOD, THEY"RE PLAYING AENIMA ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hold on, I just gotta... oh yeah, that's it... droolio
Anyways, where was I? Oh yes. As I was saying, Listening to Rage and playing Pac-man simultaneously is more addictive than heroin, crack, and extasy combined. The only thing worse than that is hearing Tool played on the radio, which sometimes causes people to stay awake for days, just waiting for that next rare listen of Tool on popular media.
So please, for your own sake, refrain from both at the same time. Try Tetris as a substitute while listening to Rage. It is not as damaging.
Originally posted by Darth RevanBut I like all of those movies...
Well Mr. Slipknot, your problem is that you have too many movies on your list of favorite movies. I find it improbable that someone with only eight favorite actors listed would genuinely be a big fan of so many movies. I get the feeling that someone in your home or residence is forcing you to list all these films, perhaps using a shotgun or plastic explosives. There may even be multiple people doing so. Perhaps these "people" are not real people at all, but hallucinations. So your treatment plan should go as follows:1. Stop eating mushrooms
2. If, after you have not ingested any hallucinogenics for a period of 48 hours, the people do not disappear, there is a great possibility that they are real people. I presume you have a shotgun of your own stored within easy reach. If you do not, I believe you are genuinely screwed.
3. If you have found the people to be real, threaten them with your shotgun. An easy method for doing so is outlined as follows:
-hold the weapon as you normally would to fire a shot
-cycle the action--this makes a menacing "click-click" sound that is likely to frighten off any criminals
-if they are armed with shotguns of their own, fend them off by bringing the butt of your weapon into one of the offender's chins
-once they know you mean business they will probably leave. It's a little known fact that 98% of shotgun-bearing criminals do not actually have their firearms loaded.
and its not people, it's little bannanas with wheels and they wont go away
Well then Slipknot, it's the bananas, isn't it?
Strangelove> I think we need to have a little chat about that username you're sporting. It tells me that your love life isn't faring well. I have bad news for you: based on the evidence, your partner is cheating on you! And whether you will openly admit it or not, I can tell you know it yourself subconsciously. It's alright to admit; it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. All it means is that your partner is a big fat liar who no longer feels sexually attracted to someone as ordinary as you!
Try this: go to an expensive car dealership, and ask for a test drive. Then, drive around town with the salesperson until you find your partner walking on the street. It could take awhile--no matter, just be sure not to run into any cops and have the salesperson in the front seat so you know what they're doing all this while. Now, when you find the person you're looking for (be sure you're dressed in your sunday best for this), calmly pull over and casually inform them that you've moved on and can no longer associate with someone as normal and boring as them. This is a good technique for whenever else you need a major ego inflation. You see, hurting the people you hate is the best possible way to make yourself feel better!
Londonboy> I can tell from the "London" part of your username that you work too hard. How? People from London always work too hard. Here's a little trade secret--90% of workers who have not gotten a promotion in the past five years say they work too hard! Have you ever noticed how CEO's and other successful business people don't seem to do anything? They just sit there up in their offices, peaking their fingers and chuckling about how much money they make for doing it! You, too, can become a super-rich employee at the top of the business ladder.
Have you ever watched the movie Office Space? I didn't think so, because if you had, you'd be better off. Well, in Office Space, a character named Peter Gibbons suddenly decides that he's just not going to work anymore. Whether by extraordinary chance or by truly displaying potential, the effect of his slacking is that he is immediately promoted. So you see, Mr. 7, the best way to get a promotion is to simply relax, and act as if you have no responsibility to do anything.
See this excellent article for further information on being an effective slacker.
http://www.vgg.com/tp/tp_050201_slack.html
Okay, have some of whatever's in this needle: 🧑⚕️
And go pay a visit to Dr. Mario for good measure. Though I must warn you, there are several individuals filing lawsuits on him at the moment, so I am not to be held responsible for whatever crap he prescribes you.