Kerrigor> It appears you have a condition similar to Slipknot's. What tips me off about yours is the fact that you have bothered translating a single word into binary for your signature, after which you have a string of apparent gibberish. I know what "78%" and "68%" mean, but what the **** is "6D%" supposed to be? A bra size? Are you actually a lonely woman with extremely large breasts, who is hoping against hope that somewhere, some sick, twisted person will be driven into stalking you based on the bra size in your signature? Jeez, you're even more screwed up than I thought! 😖
However, I suspect the cause in either case are these "people" (or in Slipknot's case, bananas) I described earlier. The solutions already mentioned are good ones. Another good one is to throw a Molotov cocktail at their hard, undoubtedly helmeted heads. What's that? You say you don't know how to make one? Well, tough, I'm a bad psychiatrist, not a bad chemistry teacher! 🙄
Space Opera> Well, I usually tell my patients to lay off the drugs, but in this case, I think a little pot might do you some good. You need to chill out, duuuuuuude.... 😮💨 If you live in a state where medical marijuana is legal, pretending to have a terminal illness to get some shouldn't be too hard. All you need is a hippie friend who will vouch for you, knowing you don't actually have one, under the circumstances that you'll give him some of your weed. He'll know what to do, trust me... 😮💨
La Vierge> It appears you have a condition known as "adolescent hyper-dramitization syndrome," commonly known as "AHDS". It is characterized by obsessive shopping, abbreviating words unecessarily on the internet, (such as when you abbreviate one word by a single character, but then draw an already single-character word out to the length of a short sentance), and, most commonly, thinking that one's problems are greater than they really are. Now, your condition is a common one and easily curable.
1. Learn basic social skills. These are best learned through experience. ie, I might walk up to a person and experimentally kick him in the balls. He might keel over, holding his groin and saying "jerk" in the loudest voice he can manage. This would be an indication to me that kicking someone in the balls is not a good way to make friends with them. Chances are, you are simply sending the wrong message to this boy. Try altering your behavioral patterns to see what effect they have on his behavior, as in the example I gave. Try different things and eventually you will get the desired effect.
2. Get it through your thick little pubescent skull that there are those in the world with bigger problems than yours. (though I appreciate the payment) Think of the starving children in Africa, for god's sake! Whenever you feel the urge to ***** to someone about social troubles, remember the starving children! In this way your own problems will not seem as daunting.
3. I might be able to give you some serious advice if you give me more details, and if this is in fact really happening. 90%* of reported bad psychiatric advice stems from patients who are unwilling to open up to their doctors.
*This figure is of course made up.
Originally posted by Darth Revan
Strangelove> I think we need to have a little chat about that username you're sporting. It tells me that your love life isn't faring well. I have bad news for you: based on the evidence, your partner is cheating on you! And whether you will openly admit it or not, I can tell you know it yourself subconsciously. It's alright to admit; it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. All it means is that your partner is a big fat liar who no longer feels sexually attracted to someone as ordinary as you!
I KNEW IT!!!
She always interested in the general type but HIM, NOT THAT WACK JOB! I certaintly will take your advice Dr. Revan and I took a picture of them in the act, the b*stards!
http://www.brightlightsfilm.com/17/17_images/strangelove.jpg
Now it's only a matter of time before I go Dr. Mabuse on their ass!!! 😈
Originally posted by SlipknoT
Help, I ran out of toaster stroodles!!
Now Slipknot, DON'T PANIC. Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be alright. Now that you're all clean and off the hallucinogenics, you should be able to get yourself a job to pay for more toaster strudels. That, or you are now sane and sharp enough to be able to steal some.
Originally posted by Dr. Strangelove
Help me Dr. Revan I have a English test tomorrow and I need examples of cheating and people affected by cheating.
You want to know how to cheat on a test, eh? How in god's name did you get this far in school without knowing how already? 😑 😛
Well, cheating isn't hard. TV will tell you to steal the answer key. TV is wrong. 🙁 Stealing anything is too risky and also defeats the purpose of cheating in the first place. If you were good at stealing, you would've dropped out of school long ago!
The best way is to just look at the person sitting next to you. If your teacher is a chump and gives two different tests, try to sit next to a friend who will help you out a little. When the teacher is not looking, swap tests with your friend so that the person to your other side will have the same test as you. Or, if there are no friends in that class, wait til the person stands up for some reason. Be quick--they might catch you! But if you do it right, they won't know what hit them.
If you need more time to plan your cheating strategy, feel free to either skip class or fake an illness.
I sincerely hope this helps you get a complete education. Good luck on your test!
