Originally posted by Marvelgeek
Cloak: "They cannot begin to understand the bond that Tandy and I share, one we've shared ever since the pharmaceuticals forced upon us awakened our abilities."Viktor/Victourious: "Wait. Back up. Your secret origin is drugs?
Doesn't that kinda set a bad example for little kids?"
same thing could be said of Captain America
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from JLA CLASSIFIED #15
the members of the league are throwing there projectiles at Z who's some ugly ass thing(such as heat vision,lasso,battarangs,and such)
Z-(to the heros)you are...weak...and your man in black...and his darts...are STUPID..
batman-you wish.good-bye from earth.
then Z gets blown up by a bats explosive..........
Aquaman: "Lay down your arms! I'm serious and I have the firepower to prove it! Sworn protectorate of over fifteen thousand submarine states. My territory surrounds every continent on the planet. I rule most of this planet's surface and almost all of its depths. So don't even think about picking a fight with the King of Atlantis."
New Avengers: Captain America is bragging about his high-level SHIELD clearance and Spider-man says, "Yeah? I got clones."
Avengers/Thunderbolts #5: Captain America and Baron Zemo are bickering, and Hawkeye tells them, "Why don't you two just go get a room already?"
Uncanny X-Men #414: Bobby says,"Jean-Paul! Northstar! Is it a pleasure to see you?" To which Jean-Paul replies, "That's supposed to be a statement, not a question, otter-pop."
Bobby says, "Not with you, Northstar. What are you doing here? Alpha Flight kick you out for good?"
Kong: Ya think--I don't know--ya think maybe we should do something about it?
Ultimate Peter Parker: Do what?
Kong: You know, do something about all these mutants or whatever. Keep an eye out, I mean--
Peter: Do something? Keep an eye out? Y'know, that's what the Germans said abotu the Jews.
Kong: Well, yo, the Jews never had big red lazer beams shooting out of their eyes! I think.
Or just pick up an Astonishing X-Men script:
(the X-Men are being questioned by the media after a fight with Ord)
Wolverine: Being feared and hated by a world that fears and understands us beats this circus anyday.
Beast: Oh, you're always so grumpy when you get cut in half.
(Ord and his soldiers are standing around waiting for the X-Men, when one of the soldiers flips out and starts shooting at a window)
Soldier: Thought you could get past, huh? Thought I wouldn't see ya?
Ord: Soldier--who are you shooting at?
(soldier looks at Ord, at the window, and back at Ord)
Soldier: My swim coach...
Ord: Miss Frost is here. Turn up your scramblers.
Soldier: Swear if I ever saw him... he came flying back through the window... just like I always dreamed...
(Emma Frost captures a couple of thugs and knocks them out. She touches her fingers to their foreheads...)
Emma: You will walk over to the nearest hospital and fall asleep. When you wake up you won't remember any of this. And any time you hear the words, "parsley", "inevitable", or "longitude", you will vomit uncontrollably for forty-eight hours.
Just finished Runaways vol 1 and I have to share some of the funny. I love it. 😄
Oh and I suppose there's micro spoilers for that series if u haven't read it (real tiny tiny ones but still). The last ones.
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Chase: "Wait, the dinosaur is real, but her parents are C.G.I.?"
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Gert: "How did two people so ingenious end up with a son who's so... athletic ?"
Chase: "Hey, I may not be book smart, but I am street smart .
Gert: "Which street? Sesame...?"
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Molly: "I'm a mutant but not like a bad one like Magneto a good one like Doop and the X-Statix and when I grow up I'm gonna join the X-men and get married to Wolverine so you better not act predjudiced around me. 'Kay?" (Oh she's adorable 😛 )
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Molly (to Cloak): "I'm sorry! I thought you were a another monster . I didn't know you were a stutterer.
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Dagger: "But the little girl you guys kidnapped...?
Gert: "How blonde are you? That's Molly Hayes!"
Molly: "Aww! You ruined my secret identity!
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Dagger: "Hang in there, Molly! This is all gonna be over soon!"
Molly: "Thanks! It was awesome to meet you, Cloak and Dazzler!"
Dagger: "My name is... I hate this city"
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Gert: "Chase, are... are you okay?"
Chase: " Uh-oh... think I got brain damage..."
Gert: "Seriously?"
Chase: "Yeah... 'cause suddenly... you're the hottest chick... I've ever seen...
[They kiss]
Gert: "I was reventilating him. Anyone who says otherwise gets fed to my %$@#ing dinosaur."
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Topher: "You see, I'm not really sixteen years old. I was born at the turn of the century."
Nico: "You're four?"
Topher: "Huh? Oh, no. Last century. In 1900."
Nico: "Eww! And I kissed you?"
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Reporter: "Then can you comment on their acts of heroism? By all accounts, these teenagers single-handedly toppled an empire of--"
Captain America: " I'm not going to condone acts of vigilantism by minors . If children have reason to believe their guardians are involved with illegal activities, they should not take the law into their own hands."
Reporter: But Captain, wasn't your first sidekick an underage hero?"
Captain America: "..."
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😆
Oh and a little bonus from She-Hulk #3 I believe it is (it's recent).
Hawkeye: "Hey Green cheeks!"
Scarlet Witch: "Jennifer, We wish you--"
She-Hulk: "Guys, please! It can't wait! I have to tell you something before they stop me!
A few years from now... Clint, you sleep with Jan. Jan, that makes you drink a lotta margaritas. Wanda, Drunk-Jan says something that drives you crazy... and then start killing everybody!
So whatever you do, Don't sleep with Jan. Don't drink the margaritas. Wanda, get some serious help!
Got that? No sex! No booze! See a shrink!" 😛
Spider-man and Shadowcat take out the deadly Ringer...
Ringer: Coff! My diamonds, my diamonds.
Spider-man: Actually, they're not your diamonds, hence the beating you just got.
Shadowcat: Hey check out his butt.
Spider-man: Uh, no.
Shadowcat: Dude has his wallet on him. What kind of supervillain brings his wallet to a robbery? Hey everybody! It's Anthony Davis from Medina County, Ohio!!!
Police: Everybody freeze!!
Spider-man: Uh, honey, we have to go!!
Shadowcat: But I was just getting to the fun part! Anthony Davis from Medina County, Ohio is the hula hoop guy!!
Police: Freeze, police!
Spider-man: No, this is the part where the cops shoot at me.
Shadowcat: Actually they may make us clean all this up.
Spider-man: There's that too.
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Lady Shiva and Huntress vs Killer Croc and the Ventriloquist...
Croc: Guess I'm eatin' Asian tonight.
Shiva: Or perhaps tomorrow, I'll have made myself a pair of hide boots. Something tasteful, perhaps with nipples on the toes. That first blow as merely to assess how long it takes for your brain to process pain. Very long, I must say.
Croc: What?
Shiva: When you ran at me, I struck you thrice, each blow resulting in an injury to your person. Greenstick fracture on the leg, comminuted on the other, and your remaining arm. Your rage is admirable. But you need training... when you get out of the hospital.
Croc: If this ever gets to my brain, bet I'm gonna hate it.
Ventriloquist: Reach for the sky, gitch!
Shiva: I beg your pardon?
Huntress: Uh... this is the Ventriloquist, Shiva. We sort of go along with his delusions because he has a genuine mental disorder, and challenging his illusion that his dummy is real would be...
*Shiva rips his dummy away and throws it off the building*
Huntress: ...possibly permanently, uh.. damaging.
Ventiloquist: NOOOOO!
Huntress: Nevermind.
Shiva: If I see you carrying this "doll" again-- I will remove your arms to hold him, and your eyes to see him. And if you sit him upon your lap--
Ventriloquist: Oh, dear!
Rhino gets beaten AGAIN... that one is funny.
Anyways... it's something along these lines, a quote I found funny by Silver Surfer.
"I've soared through the heart of an exploding star. I've visited alien worlds your mind wouldn't be able to comprehend. I've walked across the surface of the Sun itself, in the blazing power and heat of it's core.
...But no. I can't limbo."
Originally posted by Next Venom_girl
Lady Shiva and Huntress vs Killer Croc and the Ventriloquist...
Croc: Guess I'm eatin' Asian tonight.
Shiva: Or perhaps tomorrow, I'll have made myself a pair of hide boots. Something tasteful, perhaps with nipples on the toes. That first blow as merely to assess how long it takes for your brain to process pain. Very long, I must say.
Croc: What?
Shiva: When you ran at me, I struck you thrice, each blow resulting in an injury to your person. Greenstick fracture on the leg, comminuted on the other, and your remaining arm. Your rage is admirable. But you need training... when you get out of the hospital.
Croc: If this ever gets to my brain, bet I'm gonna hate it.
Ventriloquist: Reach for the sky, gitch!
Shiva: I beg your pardon?
Huntress: Uh... this is the Ventriloquist, Shiva. We sort of go along with his delusions because he has a genuine mental disorder, and challenging his illusion that his dummy is real would be...
*Shiva rips his dummy away and throws it off the building*
Huntress: ...possibly permanently, uh.. damaging.
Ventiloquist: NOOOOO!
Huntress: Nevermind.
Shiva: If I see you carrying this "doll" again-- I will remove your arms to hold him, and your eyes to see him. And if you sit him upon your lap--
Ventriloquist: Oh, dear!
What comics that from?
