Best Comic Quotes Ever

Joker- So, Once we fill out all your tendioud copywrite forms, I will get a cut of evey Fish Sale in America,

A Nickel per fish Sandwitch, Fifty cents for filet of sole! Millons of dollars a day to finance my franky hedonistic life style!

Mr Frances- Joker its impossible.

Joker- What, Imossible, You say no--

Mr Frances- Nobody can copywrite fish or fish faces! They are a natural resource!

Joker- I warn you Francis, Dont cause me to become anger!

Francis- I cant help it! Its the Law.

Joker- But the fish share my unique face! If Colonel Whats his Name can have chickens, When They dont even have Mustaches!!!!???

And you deny me this to me?? You see why I am force to crime?

You have until midnight to change your mind Francis! If you dont, you will be the poorest fish of all, and Dead as a Mackerel!

Best Comic quote ever- The Watchmen, by Alan Moore-

"Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago." - Adrian Veidt (Ozymandias)

One of Lucifer's enemies (I forget her name): "You know nothing of power, Lucifer!"

Lucifer: "And I care nothing for it"

Check these out:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f47/t304624.html
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f47/t303456.html

"My name is Johnny, but you can call me 'ny' for short. And who might you be?"

Ted Knight and Alan Scott catch up on old times at Ted's observatory. Alan feels guilty that his powers prevent him from aging and Ted is an old man.

Ted Knight - Hell, did you see that story in Newsweek about that hero from the 1940's, Hercules? He has Alzheimer's. At least I've got my wits.
Alan Scott - Hercules? Was he a member of the All Star Squadron? I don't recall.
Ted Knight - Well, you know something...
Together - NEITHER DOES HE! *laughs*

........Instead i'm gonna have to call your next of kin, becuase no one - and i mean no one says the unstoppable juggenraut drinks light beer and lives-Juggernaut

"Hey,son of a gun--I'm still alive! YOWZA! Now did anyone get the number of that wrecking ball? Did he say 'Jughead-Naut'? Is that someone who searches for Archies? I mean,'cause if it's who I THINK it is,I quit,game's over,Mom's callin' me,I'm late for dinner."

-Deadpool learns who crumbled the building he was standing on with one punch,Deapool:Circle Chase #2

And the best quote in the entire comic industry has to be.....

You and Wilson have my skills, Mr Hayden. In return, I received a taste for Radiohead and an encyclopediac knowledge of pornographic knock-knock jokes. Yes, I'd like to switch back if possible- agent x

SAID BY HULK

"your hammer makes me horny' in ultimates
"hulks mum does not wear army boots" in ultimates
"Touch" defenders vol 2

Thanos: You finished?
Silver Surfer: Uhhh, yeah (gulp).

Superman: Alfred called, he was concerned. Atomic Skull? Batman even you have limits.

Batman: you and Alfred can both go to hell. I HAD HIM!!!

old Superman: Bruce! I just wanted to talk!

old Batman: I'm done talking get out of my cave b*tch!

(okay I added the b*tch)

Spider-man's thoughts as he's fighting Venom in the subway tunnels:
"Dear Green Goblin, miss you terribly. Weather is nice, I've met a special new friend. Having fun on the railroad tracks. Wish you were here.... instead of me."

---

Evil Priests summon up a godzilla-sized demon:
EP: At last we have a true god, of virgin birth and true power.
Sara Pezzini: I don't know about virgin birth... 'Cause it looks like someone is getting f*ked around here.

A young mutant is at the mall and accidently fritzed an arcade game by involuntary activation of her powers.

Arcade owner: Do you have any idea how much those things cost?!
Jubilee: Yeah- a quarter.

Bruce Banner: "Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you--did you ever actually find Nemo...or are you still looking?"

Namor: "....If I knew what that meant, I would kill you where you stand!"

----

Dr. Strange: "Whoops."

Namor: "Excuse me?"

Dr. Strange: "What I mean to say is...ah...SHADES OF THE SERAPHIM! The barrier built to contain the brutal mindless ones has shifted since I last visited this realm!"

Namor: "Meaning?"

Dr. Strange: "I seem to have made a slight...error in our coordinates."

Namor: "Meaning...?"

Dr. Strange: "The Hulk has materialized on other side of the barrier! Those hate filled creatures could destroy even him!"

Namor: "Oh. How delightful.

Can we leave him there?"

Dr. Strange: "NO!"

Namor: "Well, at least keep him there until you have explained where we are--and why did you pull us out from our reality without any warning!"

Dr. Strange: "It seemed the best way to alleviate the situation -- and get us here without any further arguments."

Namor: " "Here" being...?"

Dr. Strange: "The domain of dread Dormammu, of course!"

Namor: "Of course, how foolish for me not have realized it.

Well then--go ahead and mutter some absurd incantation and transport him out of there."

the quote that forever defined cap for me:

KORVAC [to himself]: she was the last! it is nearly finished. the few who yet live are unconscious. i have but to terminate them mercifully. their pain i can end - mine will endure forever.

CAP THINKING [in background - korvac unaware of him]: he stopped crackling. he looks human again. and luckily he seems to be in another world-- he doesn't see me yet.

CAP THROWS SHIELD - KANG - AND STRIKES KORVAC IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD

CAP: got him! you dropped your guard too soon, mike! there's one of us left - one man. [cap jumps on korvac and starts pummeling him] or maybe you don't even count me - because i'm JUST a man? hear that mike? this is no GOD hitting you . . . no SUPER-MAN. just a man! [cap continues to pour it on] and you're an overblown, self-righteous, self-proclaimed deity who casually commits mass murder. no more mike! this MAN won't let you.

KORVAC [regains himself and his power after cap's startling attack - grabs cap]: you have dared . . . much . . . and WON much -- for you alone have hurt me! still, such as you cannot prevail against my might.

CAP [in korvac's clutches]: it doesn't matter how strong you are! i'll find a way to stop you! i'll find a way!

KORVAC: given time, i almost believe you would! but time ends for you . . . now! [cap is killed]

avengers #177 - avengers vs michael korvac

same issue - wonderman's greatest moment

[immediately after cap's death]

WONDERMAN [flying out of nowhere to attack korvac]: you killed him! and if i give you a second to clear your head you'll polish off the rest of us!

KORVAC: wonderman!

WONDERMAN: right! hey, i heard what you said about how wise it is not to fear death. [beating on korvac] well, you know, i went through it once, and it's no fun. the thought of dying again is almost more than i can bear sometimes! it haunts me! i've wondered since the first day i awakened from my first death -- why? why am i here? to be hanuted by unspeakable terror? to be a coward? but i see now -- [next panel wondy continues the beatdown] if you're brought back from death, there must be a reason -- something you were meant to do. you dig, michael? this is it! this is my moment! the whole damn universe is depending on me -- and i'm NOT gonna blow it! [next panel - korvac is down, hurt] get up michael! i want to slug you again. i see that you're getting your energy back . . . but i don't mind. after all, i'm the strongest man alive -- my fists hit like thor's hammer [next panel - wondy lunges full out, going for the kill] AND i'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!

KORVAC [reels back before wondy's attack]: must be swift -- brutal! you give me no choice!

WONDERMAN [struck my massive power blast]: eeeyarrgh! [wondy dies]

from the SAME issue:

[thor, hercules, vision and ironman attack korvac]

IRONMAN: my repulsors -- useless! the vision's thermo-optic beams -- no effect!

VISION: it appears that nothing can harm him!

THOR: nay, i say thee! no one can withstand my uru hammer [thor hits with a massive 2-handed strike which does nothing]

HERCULES: louder, braggart! he did not hear thee! he stands! but hercules shall -- URRGH! [herc blasted and killed]

ahhhhhhh, such a good arc . . . small wonder i've always loved the avngers . . .

😍

I guess there's only one sure-fire way to make an impression with Modern Technology...! And that's to dent somebody's face with it!

Omega Red: "I am also capable of releasing my lethal phermones into the air."

Jubilee: "Most people can Red! Jus' too polite... t'talk about it."

Wolverine: "Deadpool ain't it? Sorta rhymes with Dead Fool?"
Deadpool: "Yeah-- like Wolverine rhymes with... Louver Screen? ... Hoover Spleen? Hey what the heck does it rhyme with?"

Scott: "Open your mouth again and my glasses come off."
Bobby Drake: "Okay, that is officially the lamest threat I have ever-"

Cyclops: "This is good. The guy who's tried to steal my wife since the day he met us is gonna tell me about what's proper."

Cyclops: "I believe you people have something that belongs to us?"
Gambit: "Short li'l fella."
Jubilee: "All adamantium and attitude. He's one of a kind. We'd like him back."
Beast: "Not to mention our resident psionic Japanese-by-way-of-Britain ninja. You can imagine how hard *they* are to replace."

Cyclops: "Well that was mature, So here I am, Cyclops -- so-called leader of the X-Men -- and how do I use my optic blasts? As a snooze button."

Warren Worthington: "You have no idea what it's like to have your entire life pulled out from under you!"
Jean Grey: "Warren, please. You're talking to the woman who's been killed, cloned and kidnapped more times than I can remember. Let's keep it in perspective."

Nurse Annie: [about how nothing is a secret at the mansion] "Everyone knows that I don't like mutants. Everyone knows I have a thing for Alex. Everyone knows you used to date Lorna. Everyone thinks Northstar and I are dating, even though he's openly homosexual..."
Bobby: "Northstar's gay!?"

Beast: "Sometimes, Bobby, I wonder if puberty will ever end for you."
Warren: "Or start."

"That's the classic X-Men spirit, fellas. Never use a door when you can make one of your own." -- Shadowcat

"Love makes you want to stab people? That isn't love. That's brain damage. Though I do understand your confusion between the two, some days..." -- Kurt

Kitty Pryde: "I've been an X-Man since I was fourteen, Pete. It's like wearing a big sign saying 'Please try and kill me, I like it.'"

Gambit: [he just came in from the rainy outdoors] "Fin'ly. I knew if I wore dis trench coat long enough... it'd event'ly come in handy."

Storm: "Your pardon, sir. We are here to see a man about a rescue."
Xavier: "Pity. I was hoping for a pizza delivery."
Colossus: "Is Professor Xavier unwell, Storm? He is making a joke."
Jean Grey: "Contrary to popular belief, the man's only human. Complete with a sense of humor."
Archangel: "Such as it is."
Xavier: "Et tu, Archangel? Don't I get respect anymore from anyone?"

Originally posted by Creshosk

Warren Worthington: "You have no idea what it's like to have your entire life pulled out from under you!"
Jean Grey: "Warren, please. You're talking to the woman who's been killed, cloned and kidnapped more times than I can remember. Let's keep it in perspective."

Beast: “Because your hypothesis would SEEM to have merit. If we nail X-FORCE... Then we get... CABLE.”
Strong Guy: “Oh, GOOD! Including HBO? And maybe the Disney Channel for Rahne...”
Havok: “Quiet You’re embarrassing me.”
X-Factor 84

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Cloak: "They cannot begin to understand the bond that Tandy and I share, one we've shared ever since the pharmaceuticals forced upon us awakened our abilities."

Viktor/Victourious: "Wait. Back up. Your secret origin is drugs?
Doesn't that kinda set a bad example for little kids?"

Cloak: "I AM NOT YOUR ROLE MODEL!"