Snow white has been kicked out of disney land recently....She had benn said, she pulled up her skirt and sat on pinochios nose and shouted "LIE BASTURD LIE!"
Three men stayed the night together in a hotel and sharing only one bed, the next day the guy on the left goes "I had this amazing dream that a girl gave me a hand job", the guy on the right said "Really? Me TOO!" the guy in the middle bummed goes "I only had a stupid dream about skiing."
Sick jokes rule ✅
I have one, but it's like, uber-offensive. In fact, I'll spoilerise it.
Spoiler:
A young woman was in hospital in the maternity ward giving birth. She'd been in there for over 2 hours, this kid just did not want to come out. Finally, the doctor delivering the baby yelled at her to make one last push, the woman strained for one last time, then fell back on the bed exhausted. The doctor took the newborn baby in his arms and walked to the head of the bed. The woman reached out to take her child, tears of happiness and relief running down her face, but the doctor pulled it away from her, and taking the baby roughly by it's tiny ankles, starting swinging it around the room, smashing it's skull against the walls and through the heavy metal table next to the bed. The woman screamed in pure horror, completely unable to believe what she was seeing. Then the doctor stopped, smiled at her and said ''April Fools! The baby was dead when it came out anyway!''
Originally posted by CherryPie
Snow white has been kicked out of disney land recently....She had benn said, she pulled up her skirt and sat on pinochios nose and shouted "LIE BASTURD LIE!"Three men stayed the night together in a hotel and sharing only one bed, the next day the guy on the left goes "I had this amazing dream that a girl gave me a hand job", the guy on the right said "Really? Me TOO!" the guy in the middle bummed goes "I only had a stupid dream about skiing."
i know one, but beware, its kinda kinky 😉:
Okay, two wives decided to go out and get drunk while their husbands were away. They got drunk, and had a great time at some club, but then needed to go to the restroom, due to physical needs. They then realised that the restroom was too crowded, and decided to go outside and look for a right place. Coincidently, next to that club there was a cemetery, and being drunk as they were, they went for it (and of course, there wasn't any toilet paper, so they used whatever they could find in handy, including clothes).
The husbands came back home. The other day, they hung out and talked.
"- You know, im getting divorced.
- Me too, why?
- You won't believe what my wife has done last night. I found her naked and drunk. And why are you getting divorced?
- What you told me doesn't compare to what my wife has done. Not only that I found her drunk, she also had a paper wrapped around her saying: "We will never forget you. With love, the Baseball team"
P.S. Im not the one who invented it 😆
^ c'mon guys.... that has to be funny... glare^
Sick jokes rule yes
I have one, but it's like, uber-offensive. In fact, I'll spoilerise it.[SPOILER - highlight to read]: A young woman was in hospital in the maternity ward giving birth. She'd been in there for over 2 hours, this kid just did not want to come out. Finally, the doctor delivering the baby yelled at her to make one last push, the woman strained for one last time, then fell back on the bed exhausted. The doctor took the newborn baby in his arms and walked to the head of the bed. The woman reached out to take her child, tears of happiness and relief running down her face, but the doctor pulled it away from her, and taking the baby roughly by it's tiny ankles, starting swinging it around the room, smashing it's skull against the walls and through the heavy metal table next to the bed. The woman screamed in pure horror, completely unable to believe what she was seeing. Then the doctor stopped, smiled at her and said ''April Fools! The baby was dead when it came out anyway!'' [/SPOILER]
😱 😆
what a p***er
Shannon received a phone call from the Foreman at the plant her husband worked. he sounded grim and she immediately knew something was wrong ."what happened?is Patrick all right?please tell me he is ok?"she said. the man on the line replied sadly "Shannon there was a accident at the brewery and your husband is...dead." "oh my goodness what happened?"she cried "he fell into a vat of beer "the Foreman said. "did he at least die quickly ?" she asked .the man paused then said "well no ...he got out three times to use th bathroom."
get them posted
the following is the sickest joke i have ever heard although some of you might not get it
actually ive decided to edit this one away cause it is unbelievably sick...if your a brit (cause you will probably need to be to get it) and you like really REALLY sick jokes...pm me and i'll tell you it