Originally posted by Mistah DEVIL
I have always believed that 2 things would happen.1)I would die before I reached 25 or
2) I'd die on my wedding day because I would truly be happy and because I dont "deserve" to be happy it would be taken away.
I am not 25 yet and I have no one. Right now I just live 1 day at a time.
Ahhh, a patienent very rare to see those now a days. I don't bother to be one because, through my eyes, everyones the same. Isolation best describes my life.
I have loved with everything that is me, but NO ONE has ever loved me the way I loved them. I used to be this emotionless "doll" and sure enough I still had air pumping through my lungs, but I never felt truly alive until my ex happened upon my life. I don't want to be a hollow embodiment ever again.
Originally posted by Mistah DEVIL
I have loved with everything that is me, but NO ONE has ever loved me the way I loved them. I used to be this emotionless "doll" and sure enough I still had air pumping through my lungs, but I never felt truly alive until my ex happened upon my life. I don't want to be a hollow embodiment ever again.
And be a fragile emotionfull being, relying on the good jestures and kindness of others?!?! Surely you have fallen farther than I have realized. I am not fully emotionless as I had hoped to be. Such a life is difficult with many a rational, however to be an arbitor you must have no loyalties. That in which I have mastered...
Originally posted by Mistah DEVIL
I do distance myself from others and push people away. I prolly wouldnt have to if I didn't let them get close in the first place. I think I am hopeless. A wasted effort. I have to say I come off as "okay" when I avoid talking about "ME."
Let me enlighten you on a saying, "He who eats alone, dies alone. But he does not die of hunger." People are but a detail in the grand scheme of survival. At times working alone doesn't cut it. You were born with nothing, and you shall leave with nothing. Learn to live alone. Your life, business, troubles are of your own, and of no one elses concern. Close yourself to the world, for the world has already closed the way for you....
Originally posted by Mistah DEVIL
I have 2 probs with your advice that I cant change about myself.I dont like to lie and I dont like to be rude/mean.
I just realized something I am telling someone (YOU) stuff when apparently I shouldn't.
YOu don't have to lie, and silence is not rude/mean. Silence is golden. If my advice hurts you than perhaps my truths should be kept silent. For I have apparently contradicted myself...
Originally posted by Mistah DEVIL
Can I ask you a question?HONESTLY, how would you describe me?
From what I have seen? You are a recovering man. You show it in your text. Not in the one when you say it, but the ones when you play around. A shell, searching for a fill. You hide your emotions well, but not well enough to conceal them from me. You place others before your self? You believe in God right? Well continue, because if everyone else fails, he wont. You live live life day by day. Begin to live it by the moment. That way you get everything out of life, even the worst times. Because even the bad times have something to teach. I may not know what your going through, or the pain you may be experiencing, but my cold hard exterior only protect the warm soft interior that I fear to share. I am here for all, even if no ones here for me. Just remember that...
Originally posted by Mistah DEVIL
I will remember that! ✅You seem wise. Do you practice what you preach? Most people dont including me.
I despise hyporcits because they sicken me. The lucky ones are the ones inwhich I remove myself from their presence. They others, well leave a little darker but a little wiser...