alright people (by people i mean elessa and dreamin warrior)
alright i have been meaning to do this fr a while i guess i should have done it sooner but anyways i really have noo reason to be here s i guess i just wont come here anymore ...maybe just to post here ut other then that im otie so see yall
Originally posted by heavenablaze666
alright people (by people i mean elessa and dreamin warrior)
alright i have been meaning to do this fr a while i guess i should have done it sooner but anyways i really have noo reason to be here s i guess i just wont come here anymore ...maybe just to post here ut other then that im otie so see yall
my hearts been taken away
i waited for you
and here you are
but you say things
that i dont want to here
i scream distress
and wish you were gone
(whisper) my hearts been taken away
chorus
so here i am what are you waiting for
look me in the eye and tell me you dont love me any more
i watched you leave
with no remorse
left me standing here
cold and a lone
the staples that held my heart broke
(say normally) my hearts been taken away
chorus
here i am what are you gonna do
come on tell me that you hate me to
what are you waiting for
come on tell me you dont love me anymore
my heart ripped at the seams
and i bleed deep inside
but tears never left my eyes
i watched you tak it away
you left without a word
but i wanna know why
(say out loud) my hearts been taken away
chorus
come on look me in the eye
tell me i have no emotion
i still wont cry
come one wat are you waiting for
tell me telll me you dont love me any more
sewed my heart together
broke my self outside
tried to hide the pain and thought
of my social suicid
cuz you took it away
black hole were i should be
(yell) my hearts been taken away
chorus
look at me tell me
tell me tell me
i really wanna know
what are you waiting for
tell me you dont want me any more
tell me you hate me
i wanna hear this from you
you say you do but your eyes
say you dont so i wanna hear it
tell me the truth
you lier i wanna know
if we have anything real
(roar it out ) MY HEARTS BEEN TAKEN AWAY
(repeat until song is over )
i sit and watch the tv news to see if i can find some clues i know the world is all ****ed up but it looks so slick in a one minute spot wanna die i don't wanna live i go to school - what a ****ing joke tellin me things i don't wanna know they don't give a shit about me at all my teachers have got me by the balls there's no reason to live anymore we're all gonna die in the third world war they try to train me by society's rules well **** em all and **** you too
Originally posted by heavenablaze666I pray that while I can't be bothered to read the rest, that you've at least learned how to spell correctly. It is, to say the least, quite distracting when reading poetry.
gutted like a pig ll you want is the world to bleed
someone some where stole your desire
the pain akin to being punched in the throut and stabbed in the chest
you would rather bleed then be with out her gon are the tiny whispers dancing in your ear replaced with lackluster that will make you cry
your screams play in your empty room
your bed swallows you holw as the days bleed togather
you slowly drown in your regret
if you try hard enough you can almost taste her feel her pass and scream
OH GOD WHY ME
you would rather bleed then be without her gone are the tiny whispers dancing in your ears
replaced with lackluster memories you cry
your screams replay in your empty room(this peom is form me to my bestest friend whom i saw go through the worst break up ...i have ever seen ...and fro MD i dunno why kind thought about him when i wrote it )
With that I cannot say if it's worthwhile to read such as yours if you cannot take the time to edit your work before posting them.
so, like the lackluster memory you so wrote then I so deem this also
Originally posted by Naib
I pray that while I can't be bothered to read the rest, that you've at least learned how to spell correctly. It is, to say the least, quite distracting when reading poetry.With that I cannot say if it's worthwhile to read such as yours if you cannot take the time to edit your work before posting them.
so, like the lackluster memory you so wrote then I so deem this also
To make of fun of someone's poetry would be demeaning and without just cause. But to point out the truth of what is lacking is more to the point.
If I seem overly harsh, or my words without reason then so be it. But what is the point of posting your work if you cannot take criticisism for what it is and nothing more.
Originally posted by Naib
To make of fun of someone's poetry would be demeaning and without just cause. But to point out the truth of what is lacking is more to the point.If I seem overly harsh, or my words without reason then so be it. But what is the point of posting your work if you cannot take criticisism for what it is and nothing more.
Originally posted by heavenablaze666
hey i wont leave completely ..i mean ill still post here dont worry about me 😊 there are lots of other writers here for you to enjoy
Originally posted by heavenablaze666
alright people (by people i mean elessa and dreamin warrior)
alright i have been meaning to do this fr a while i guess i should have done it sooner but anyways i really have noo reason to be here s i guess i just wont come here anymore ...maybe just to post here ut other then that im otie so see yall
Originally posted by Coldfireif i were to flatter, then what exactly is the point of a truthful review? would you rather i lie and say what a wonderful poem this is, then regretfully allow said artist to continue on his merry way writing awful poetry?
I simply asked that question because the first two comments I've seen you post weren't exactly flattering. Didn't mean it to sound so rude and all so sorry....
or perhaps, in the hope of lighting some spark of creativity brought on by harsh, but truthful words they will see their not-so-obvious mistakes and learn from it, thereby becoming better in the end.
i should hope with all reason and good mental faculty it is the latter. how sad should it be the former, all for the enjoyment of feeling good temporarily
alright then let me start by saying
to naib i except your criticism but i was to angry to care when i wrote that poem and besides when i am writing something that means anything to me i could care less about anything else but your right i should try to spell better i guess
to cold fire
I'm glad you think of me as i poet i mean i don't even think i am as good as anyone else here (mostly because most of my poems are dark)
its OK if you only read a few I'm glad that you read them at all ...so thanks
dreamingwarior
yeah i know that its better with more people writing their work here but i dunno just the fact that all i do when i come here is post here and read PMS really is kinda boring but i love posting my poems and hearing what you all have to say about it
i wanted to tell you how i felt
but i didnt
i let you go and never said a word
i think about it everyday
wondering what you would say
if i had told you anyway
that i loved you
my thoughts are turning me insane
and blood stoped flowing to my brain
i felt dead no longer living
i was to scared to tell you
but now that your gone
i wishh i had told you
how i felt about you
i think about what could have been
but the pain inside wont let me live
im drowning in my own regret
forget the words i ment to say
i wish i could have thought this through
becuase now im just a jaded fool