Things SW characters will NEVER say...

anakin doesn't call padme the morning after lul

Obi-wan on tatooine: Oh, my god, you!! It's been forever, how you been? I didn't even know you were still around, you still a astromech droid? R2, right? yeah? Hows 3p0 doing? god I remember that time you saved anakin and padme.... and then he became a dark lord of the sith... and she died... good times.

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Robot: She's dying, it's like she's lost the will to live.

Obi-Wan: Bull ****in shit. That's not a medical diagnosis... look, she's not even conscious! where's your credentials?

Yoda to Obi Wan: How about we BOTH go take on Sidious, and then BOTH go kill anakin? Much less likely either one of us loses that way!

Yoda: because I've seen your teamwork, and if your expecting me to carry you unconscious up an elevator shaft, you are barking up the wrong tree!

Luke: Why didn't Tarkin just wait until the Death Star was fully operational and ready with it's superlaser before attacking Yavin? Good thing Tarkin is an idiot, hence why the Alliance won.

Anakin: "What have I done?!"

Palpatine: "You're fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force."

Anakin: "That's a pretty gay destiny, man."

Sidious: No...no...YOU HAVE-
Mace: *stabs Sidious to death*

(Credit to Gideon for this one)

Ben: Caedus is MINE!!!

Luke: NO BEN!! Let's arrest him instead of slaughtering him here! Anything but just let him go!

Admiral Ackbar: It's NOT a trap!

Mace Windu: OK Agen Colar, remember to keep your lightsaber in a defending position and block when he attacks you.

Princess Leia: Oh, god, get me out of this metal bikini.

Leia - I love you!

Han - Ohhh great! Now you tell me!

Obi Wan: Only a sith deals in absolutes.
Anakin: So you have joined the dark side. Now, join me and together we can rule the galaxy as master and apprentice!

*Jedi temple burning in the background, Anakin returns home to Padme after systematically slaughtering his brethren*

ANAKIN: "Honey, I'm home!"

*studio applause*

ANAKIN: "And you will not believe the day I've had!

Owens: hey, C3P0! I remember you!

Han: I have a good feeling about this.

Ewok: Zap me again, R2, I've been a bad teddy bear....

Daala: Maybe I should lay off the Jedi. Didn't they help the galaxy in every war that was ever fought in the past 25,000 years?

Yoda (after training session with Padawans)

Yoda: Come here, younglings. Have something to show you, I have.

Youngling: What is it, Master Yoda.

Yoda: In my pocket, a lightsaber, have I.

Youngling: But Master Yoda, you're lightsaber is on the floor!

Yoda: Not that one.

Vader (right after "killing" Ben): What? This isn't Kenobi, it's an inflation!

Ben: So long suckers! *runs onto the Millenium Falcon*