"The Vomitorium" - Reviews By KMC Members

HOSTEL **** (RECOMENDED)
<<PART 1>>

Internationally reowned filmmaker Quentin Tarantino presents Eli Roth's Hostel, the follow-up to the writer-director's hit debut, 2002's Cabin Fever. More grisly than Roth's feature bow. Not everyone took too kindly with Cabin Fever, I admit that I wasn't too fond on it when I watched it with my ex-girlfriend in the cinema. But then what do you want from a cheap B-movie when a group of teenagers gets infected with a contagous skin-eating virus in the middle of the woods at a isolated cabin trying to get out alive. It was a silly film, but then the director Eli Roth's idea was to make such a film that is just popcorn entertainment, throwing in alot of yucky stuff and camp sense of humour. But now comes a film that have gotten people so psyched by it's 'based on a true story' con and because it's supposed to be the most disturbing and violent film we have seen in a long time. Sounds great, doesn't it? Well, it must have been good for the infamous Quentin Tarantino to have his name plastered all over it. But then Mr. Tarantino has had his name labelled on some other films, but fear not as their all damn good movies; the martial arts film Hero and the dark actioner Night Watch. So he is another reason why everyone is making a big thing over Hostel! Also the storyline sounds like a kick-ass idea as well. Something that is so simple but yet can be very affective if it is played right. Just the idea alone can shock the audience and disturb them without even showing a ounce of blood. But then it's a hard crowd in modern cinema so maybe some blood might be a good thing. Anyway, I got so obsessed with this film that I look everywhere on the internet trying to find as much information as I could about Hostel. All my friends have said that it is very disturbing and extremely gruesome. Especially two of my friends that have seen some sick and twisted films in their time to be saying that. In the end I watched it with my friend since we were afraid it wasn't going to be in our local cinema for that long. My friend loved it. So did I, it might not have been as good as I was expecting but then not many films do if you have high expectations over it. But I will say it is the type of film that I will recomend to anyone who love horror films.

Hostel tells the tale of three young backpackers Paxton, Josh and Oli who are travelling around Europe to smoke alot of pot and to have sex with as many girls as they can. Except for a timid Paxton (I think if I remember correctly) that haven't long split up with his girlfriend and doesn't want a one night stand. While in Amsterdam they get kicked out of their hotel for the night for going over its curfew. So, a guy invites them to stay over his room for the night and tells them of a youth hostel in a remote part of Slovakia where apparently all their wildest dreams will come true. With no idea of the hell that awaits them they head to the hedonistic paradise. At first everything is as they were promised - some gorgeous babes that shows them a good time of their lives. They just couldn't believe their luck! But things take a horrible turn for the worse when one of the men, Oli, goes missing. The other two go looking for him, but the clerk told them that he checked out earlier in the morning. They met Oli on their travel around Europe, Josh tries to convince Paxton that Oli might have wanted to travel alone and that they didn't even know the guy well enough. Josh is still not so sure, but the night before they leave the hostel they decide to give it another go with the two very sexy girls that they have been sleeping with there. They take them to a bar, but Josh passes out only to find when he wakes up that Paxton seems to now be missing! Josh does what any other sensible human being would do - go to the police. They do what normal policemen would do - ignores Josh! However, he manages to find those two girls again and demands them to tell him where his friend is, they say that he is at a museum and will take him there. Josh soon finds out that this is no museum and that the hostel was just a front. The girls are actually operating in the human flesh trade and have sold the travelling friends to the highest bidder. In return for this payment the customer is given full reign to torture and kill their helpless victims. Lucky for Josh he manages to escape but to get out of the place that he is in is gonna be murder. I didn't really like the ending so much which I will now explain, so if you don't want it to be spoilt then start reading the next paragraph NOW. Josh finally escapes the Hostel with a eyeless girl he rescued and manages to make it to the train station. On the way he finds out that the local police is also involved with the human trafficking operation. Josh manages to get revenge on the two girls that clearly are also involved as well as the guy who sent him and his friends over to the hostel. He runs the three of them over with his car. The eyeless girl commits suicide at the train station by jumping infront of a moving train on the track. This buys Josh sometime to get on the train while the crooked cops go to investigate the death. Josh in finally out of Slovakia, but he notices a surgeon on the train that him and his friends had an encounter with him on the train on the way over to the country. The surgeon performed amature surgery on Paxton and killed him. Josh gets off the stop that he gets off, follows him to the toilets and kills him.

Eli Roth is a very young director. I saw a interview on the extras of Cabin Fever of him, the way he was talking about the film clearly showed that he loves his horrors and I remember him saying that he wanted to create something that will shock and disgust people. Cabin Fever was a flop in the cinema, and even though it did have some disgusting parts it was let down by its surreal and corny moments. However, Hostel is not like that. It may not have a very good ending, as it starts getting a little too unreal after the torture scenes but luckly we have to suffer with that for the last ten minutes of the film. It does have some corny moments throughout the film but luckly nothing too over the top that we can surpase without rolling our eyes over. There are alot of good actors in this, I don't think I have seen or even heard any of them before but this film will definitely open doors to a few of them in the media industry. I think what people don't like about Hostel is that the director doesn't even show us any blood until we're further in the film. In fact we have to wait over half way through the film. But this gives us enough time to get to know the characters. The three teenagers that we follow may not have the best personalities to feel sorry for, they like getting into fights and swearing all the time, but then thats the typical teenager for you in these days. Why create perfect characters for you to like them when you can base them off real people to make the movie look more realistic? The first half of the film will make you think you are watching the wrong film as it is more about the comedy involving sex and drink with the teenagers. Some people have bad mouthed the film by saying that it is very slow before getting to the violence, but I thought it was more convincing than getting to it straight away. But then again I read many of these reviews before I watched the film so I was prepared for waiting a long time before the blood started gushing in.

HOSTEL **** (RECOMENDED)
<<PART 2>>

The violence isn't that extreme than what people make this film out to be. It is over hyped! But then I have seen alot of sick films like Itchy the Killer and Brain Dead. Hostel is definitely sick for people who haven't seen that many hardcore horror films in their time and will surely not be the sort of film that girls will want to watch all the way through. This film is gory, im not saying it isnt, and does have some good disturbing tortue scenes that will shock you but not to the lengths that you will expect. There is alot of 'flesh chopping', but the camera angles don't really show it off as much as what Eli Roth could of. If you're going to cut someone's finger off, well show me the finger coming off! I think this film will split the audience in two. One group will cower behind their hands viewing the violence. The others will smile, and ultimately, feel let down. But then again the budget in this is on the cheap side as well as Cabin Fever, but also Hostel is alot darker and grittier which is perfect for the atmosphere and tension but is a nightmare to see the bloody violent scenes! Here are some of the horrible scenes that had me shocked, if you want to find out for yourself then read the next paragraph NOW. Josh finds a woman getting tortured on his quest of getting out of the place alive that they do all these horrible things in. He kills the guy that was torturing her with a blow-torch only to find that he has burned her eye and is now hanging off from a vein which he cuts to get it completely off, which then the hole where her eye has been is gushing with puss. Also when we see one of the other friends of Josh's getting tortured when a surgeon cuts the back heal of Josh's friends foot, and then when he stands up you can see the cut splitting at the back of his foot and him falling onto the floor! Another favourite part is when a bauld man is getting clouted on the head by a hammer, it shows the hammer denting his head! Ouch! Mind you, there are some other great scenes but not as top-notch as what I have just said.

This is the type of film that every hardcore horror fan should have in his/her pile of DVD's. So yes, this is a must to buy when it comes out into the stores. I would say don't bother renting it, just buy it. But then some people, that im surprised with, have said they didn't like it. Everyone I have talked to that have seen it have said it is 'awesome'. There is already a sequel being talked about, apparantly. Be sure to look out for a camero of the director who did the classic asian films Audition and Itchy the Killer, two of the most goriest and disturbing films ever made. He is one of the customers that talks to Josh, before Josh goes into what he thinks is a museum. I enjoyed the first half, but I will admit it was corny and the dialogue isn't as good as when Josh gets locked up in the place. Some of the conversations that Josh has with a guy that mystakes him for also being a customer instead of the victim when Josh is trying to find his way out of the place is amazing! Some of the best lines I have heard in a while that answers some of our questions like why would anyone get a rush from killing someone. Like I have said, the first half of the film is funny, sexual and cheesy. The second half is more serious, violent, disturbing and immersing - except for the last ten minutes that just brings back the cornyness of the first half but with alot more cheese. This is the sort of film that you will not like to watch while eating as there isn't much special effects at all! All the violence is fake blood by the bucket loads with a heapsome of gruesome makeup that brings back the traditional olden days of horror films, like The Fly and The Fog. There is nothing scary about this film, menace however is dripped all over this. Don't get your hopes up too much and I guarantee that you will not be disapointed.

THE BREAK-UP ** (NOT BAD)

Featuring two of Hollywood's most likable comic actors and real-life couple, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, on fine form, The Break-Up - a romantic comedy about a couple's war of attrition after they split - is a fine film to watch that does have its moments that will make you laugh, but those moments comes thin and doesn't last for that long. If you enjoyed The War of the Roses then you might enjoy this little feature but it certainly isn't something to spend your money on watching it in the cinema. I have been curious to watch this, since romantic comedies go these days I find that their all the same - not funny and predictable. But I think this one will stand out this year for the rom com since others such as You, Me and Depree just looks aweful and something that I could definitely wait to come out on rental. I still have high hopes for My Super Ex-Girlfriend since the trailers look good for it. But then again the film that have been getting close attention to with the trailers on television these days is The Break-Up. I am not disapointed that I watched it, and will probably watch it again in the future, but it's not something that I could watch over and over.

Meet Gary. This mid-thirty year old is obsessed with the Chicago Cubs baseball team and video games. He also loves for everything to be centered around him, it's either his way or the highway. Gary (Vince Vaughn) meets Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) at one of the baseball games and offers her a hotdog that he keeps nagging her to take during the game. When the game has ended and everyone is leaving, Gary asks Brooke to join him for dinner and encourages her to finish with her boyfriend! I wasn't too fussed with the opening scene of this too much as it makes Gary look like an *******! But then, I think thats what the film is trying to do. So, Brooke finishes her boyfriend as we see in the next scene as she starts going out with Gary! So, when the opening credits appear we see a few photos of them showing time progressing. When it goes back to the storyline we learn that them two have now moved into a flat with each other. Gary thinks that his girlfriend Brooke should move the dining table into the living room to make space for a pool table for him and his friends to play on (sound familiar girls?) Career driven and demanding, Brooke's works in a high-powered Chicago art gallery. She believes Gary will never be interested in her world. Gary works as a tourist on a double decker explaining to the people all the locations. He doesn't like how demanding Brooke is getting. So when the inevitable break-up ensues by Brooke who cannot cope with Gary taking advantage of her by letting her clean the house etc neither is willing to leave the house. So comes forth what is supposed to be a comedy. Their as bad as each other the way they treat the situation, Gary gets his pool table into the kitchen and has music full-volume in his bedroom claiming he can do whatever he wants in there. Brooke decides to mix fire with fire, but goes the wrong way of doing it, by playing his game. She has her brother over with his singing class, to what Gary hates, in her bedroom and she does the same with the music. Brooke wants Gary back but she wants him to realize that he needs to bulk up his ideas for the relationship to happen, but then does Gary want to go back with her? She tries to make him jelous by bringing dates around to the house (which does work making him jelous). The only thing I didn't like about the film is the ending, which if you don't want to know then start reading the next paragraph NOW. One of their friends says to them that he thinks they both should move out of the flat, cut the money 50/50 and move on with their lifes. So, Brooke passes on the message to Gary when she finds out they only have two more weeks before they can go their separate ways. In the end they don't even get back with each other! She tries throughout the film trying to make him jelous and then does the honourable thing by asking him out on a date at a concert which he stands her up with. It is only after that and after seeing her crying in her bedroom that he realizes that he has done wrong and tries making it up with her by finally making a surprise candle-light dinner. The only thing is that Brooke comes back with a guy that she is being serious about this time and turns Gary down. They meet up about a year (can't remember exactly) later out in the street in which they make an agreement to meet up sometime. Then cue the rolling credits. Quite a sad ending. Alot more antics happen throughout, I assure you, that can be funny in places. But I will not spoil that for you.

I think Peyton Reed might have had relationship problems in the past and some of these incidents in The Break-Up are based on actual events on his life since he has got some scenes in the right gear stick, but then there are some that he just loses direction with. Vince Vaughn is turning into one of my likable actors, he has been in a few top funny films over the last few years like Starsky & Hutch, Old School, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Mr & Mrs Smith, Zoolander and a few more that I can't remember at the top of my head. In most of those films he always has a attitude on him since he is really good of pulling it off. Jennifer Aniston on the other hand, that before seeing Vince used to go out with Brad Pitt, has been in a few crappy romantic comedies since the American smash hit television series Friends. Only two of her films come to mind; Picture Perfect starring alongside Kevin Bacon and the more recent Rumour Has It with Kevin Costner. I didn't mind Rumour Has It so much since it was saved by Jennifer character's grandmother that stole the film, without her it would of been terrible, but Picture Perfect was just your typical romantic comedy trash. I also think she acts the same in all of her roles, I don't like her much anyway and don't see what is so good about her besides having a sexy figure. Probably that's it! Anyway, them two in this just don't seem to cut it. You can tell that this isn't a genre for Vince to get into since he is much better in slapstick films, and Jennifer is just the same in this as she has been in her other films. So, no surprise there. They do a good job to make it look like they can't stand each other anymore but I got to admit that Vince is quite lazy with his acting.

The one thing that I really hate about this film is the unexpected ending which is very unusual for a romantic comedy to have. It made me feel like I was wasting my time watching a film about a couple force to live with each other after breaking up when secretly they want to get back with each other. It had no results and left a door open to a sequel in which it shouldn't have to be. There are some funny parts that made me laugh out loud and others that are a little silly that you can tell they have just added those jokes in just to make up the whole of the film. I think the parts they try their hardest to make you laugh turn out to be duds and then the jokes that are not intentional to make you laugh actually do. Vince is just so self-centered in this film that it is just histerical and with the right dialogue could of saved this film from being a flop. He reminds me a bit like myself, I used to think the same as Vince's character and took advantage over a few of my girlfriends in the past. When we argue it's always them that has to say sorry. Jennifer goes the wrong way of getting him back by trying to make him jelous of her 'boyfriends' and to kick him off the couples bowling team, but Vince is just so ingnorant that he gets her back with very loud music. In fact, it's him that started the whole thing off and it's him that comes out to be the baddie of the film as we feel sorry for Jennifer's character in one scene as she walks back to the flat to find Vince surrounded by barenaked ladies and alcohol, and also he stands her up when she waits for him at a concert in a attempt to get back with him. When I said earlier that she is a crap actress, she isn't that bad in this and is probably the best acting she has done in a movie yet, but I reckon this is just a one-off unless she can prove me wrong in later projects of hers.

Don't waste your time watching this in the cinema. Wait for it to come out on rental even before you want to buy it because I promise you it isn't as good as what you might think it is by the trailers and posters. It's a fair romantic comedy that is better than a few I have watched over the last few years but I am really disapointed Vince Vaughn couldn't come through in this one. Maybe it's the script writer I should blame! Curse you script writer! But anyway, even though this is a romantic comedy I will say that this isn't the sort of film to take dates to watch. Instead watch You, Me & Dupree, I haven't watched that yet but it looks alright from the trailers and I will be watching it when it comes out in UK cinemas. Anyway, I guess The Break-Up is good for a rental and isn't much of a waste of time but don't get your expectations too high on this. Hopefully films with simular sort of concept can be made in the future and will hopefully improve.

MIAMI VICE ** (NOT BAD)

A contemporary updating of the pastel-laden TV series, Miami Vice is something that I have never seen or heard of before. But what looks like a more serious Bad Boys-style movie but just doesnt look as good. Im sure I have heard that this film flopped in the box office, but I am not certain as it was a friend who told me, but then again the trailer didn't personally psyche me up ready for this film. But then I decided to give it a try as it is the only other action film around I haven't watched in the theatre. Just as I predicted it wasn't any good, just like I thought it would be!

Miami Vice finds Miami cops Rico Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) and Sonny Crockett (Colin Farrell) going undercover as outlaw smugglers. Delving into the world of drug trafficking, the duo must straddle the line between cop and player to prevent taking a hit from a Columbian crime-lord. That is until the crime organization Rico and Sonny works for, helping them ship in illegal products, finds out their undercover. Rico's girlfriend gets kidnapped in a trailer by a group of hill-billies that have strapped a explosive charge around her mouth. Sonny has fallen in love with a woman that is the assistant to the crime lord, which quite a bit of the film focuses on their secret relationship between each other. In the end it's a final showdown between Rico and Sonny with the crime organization that ends in a bloody mess. If you don't want the ending spoilt then start reading the next paragraph NOW. As usual Sonny and Rico manage to get out alive and Sonny gets the woman he has been in a relationship with to the coast in which they say their farewells to each other! That's it for the story.

With the night photography recalling his film Collateral, Michael Mann does his best to make this a great action flick, even though this is visually arresting, it falls down a large hole by going too in depth with Sonny's relationship and scenes that are just boring. It's a shame since it boasts a cutting-edge soundtrack and does have some kinetic action scenes. It could be considered as a 'cool movie' but I think that's thanks to the casting of Colin Farrell (one of my favourite actors) and Jamie Foxx (oscar winner from the film Ray). They may not be the best buddy cops, as we don't get to see them engaging in conversation as much, but their certainly the most sexiest guys to team up with.

One thing, alot of people have said there is a action scene in the beginning and one at the end. They are wrong. The only thing we see which is near to the beginning is a boat house getting infiltrated by the two Miami cops which Sonny plants and then explodes two speed boats. That is it! Nothing special at all, and the guys they arrest don't retaliate at all. Now, there are two action scenes towards the end. There isn't much space between them two. One of them is in the trailer when Sonny and Rico get there to get Rico's girl back and the other is at a cargo area in which we see alot of fire power between the cops and the opposite side. There are some really good bloody moments that will surprise you, but do you really have to go through the whole movie just for that? Is it really worth it? Maybe not on the big screen but could be considered something to rent if you haven't got any other films to rent on your list. But then this is more intellectual than your average action flick. It does give us some really cool cars, speedboats and jets but it's a pitty their not used in the action. I was really hopping for a chase scene. But anyway, like I was saying, alot of people have said this film is very hard to understand. I understood everything from the beginning to the end. So when I say it's intellectual I mean because it has some good tactics that reminds me a bit like the Tom Clancy games like the Splinter Cell franchise. It resembles, but not that much.

Don't waste your money to watch this in the cinema, if you have to then wait until it comes out on rental. Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx are ultra cool in this with their slick haircuts. I guarantee women will have their mouth watering by the time this film is over. For the guys there are two action scenes that will impress them (not by much) and will probably drool over the vehicles used in this film.

HARD CANDY ***** (BRILLIANT)

I remember when I first watched the trailer for this film before the aweful When A Stranger Calls insulted the silver screen. Hard Candy looked amazing, and after that I was hooked on finding out as much as I could about this film. I didn't expect it to be much of a popular film, not only because it was only released for selected cinemas but because of the theme this film contains. The trailer alone made it look disturbing showing something that noone has dared to create before. It's all thanks to David Slade, the director that before making this feature flick has only done music videos. He has given us a experience that is so unsettling and deliciously disturbing that it makes all the other thrillers out this year and possibly over the last ten years look babyish.

In the beginning the camera is focused on a computer screen at two people flirting over the internet using a Instant Messenger programme. What starts off as something that may seem innocent for adults to flirt about, we soon start realizing that the female may be younger than what we thought. For three weeks, 'Thonggrrrl14', 14-year-old Hayley Stark (played perfectly by Ellen Page) has been chatting on-line with 'Lensman319' a 32-year-old photographer named Jeff Kohlver (again, an outstanding performance by Patrick Wilson). Meeting at a downtown cafe for coffee and chocolate cake, but who's really pulling the strings as puppet-master and who is out of control? Upon agreeing to meet for the first time, Jeff thinks he is control over the situation and doesn't know how knowledgable and clever this young girl actually is. The only thing that we can't help but wonder is what Hayley is keeping in that bag of hers. She keeps making excuses when Jeff asks what is inside. Anyway, She asks Jeff to drive her back to his isolated house and take pictures of her. Jeff doesn't turn this down especially when their inside the house and Hayley is making them alcoholic drinks. She said that her parents warned her about accepting mixed drinks from strangers and she should only do it herself. Wise of her parents, very wise indeed. So he lets her take over the bar, but only to find that she had drugged his drink and when he wakes up tied on a chair. What we see from then on is some very brutal stuff as Hayley performs amature surgery on Jeff, in which he gets his dick and balls cut off! That is the premise you will hear from other people, but I wanted more information so I assume there are still others out there that can't wait to watch the film and want to know more about it already. So here comes loads of spoilers that sums up the whole movie, so if you don't want to read them then start reading the next paragraph NOW. If you notice in the trailers, Jeff is tied up on a table his front of his body facing upwards. We also have the question asking ourselves is he really a kid fiddler or has Hayley got him mystaken. Well, one thing he managed to kick Hayley hard in the stomach to wind her while he moves the chair (on wheels) to the bedroom to get his loaded gun. That is when Hayley finds his hidden safe and manages to open it to find pictures of naked girls. "This is officially sick" she says out loud stunned by the pictures. She manages to creep up behind Jeff and disarm him by suffocating him with a plastic bag. He loses conscious and she rips a hole in the bag for him to breath so he wouldn't suffocate to death. Thats when he wakes up tied on a table! After she has numbed his manhood, and after she cuts his privates off and shoves them in a blender, she takes a shower. Jeff manages to escape from the table and instead of phoning the police like he was about to do, he grabs a weapon and decides to go into the shower and kill her. Which personally I would do the same if someone cut off something that means so precious to me. Unfortunately, our devious and clever Hayley is waiting for him with a stun gun. She electrocutes him and when he finally comes around his neck is tied to some rope and the other part to the ceiling. It just doesn't look like Jeff's day! Hayley gives him a option, he can either commit suicide before his exgirlfriend gets there (that Hayley phoned earlier) or let her see the pictures and he would go to jail for a very long time for it. The deal is that Hayley would hide the evidence before she gets there and show a 'suicidal' note that she did on his computer claiming to be Jeff explaining a entirely different reason why he killed himself. Jeff manages to get out of the situation again but not before Hayley could get away again! She waits for him on his roof, he climbs the ladder to get up after her in which she has tied the rope to a pillar and says that he has the chance to do the right thing as his exgirlfriend pulls up in her car on his driveway. Poor Jeff in the end hangs himself only to find Hayley was lying about hiding the pictures making his exgirlfriend know what he is.

A have already got great respect for the director David Slade, if this is his first feature film then I can't wait for what other projects he will be bringing out in the future. In fact he has another film in production all about vampires that I will definitely be seeing when it comes out. Hard Candy has got so many awards for achievement and will go down in my books as one of the best films I have ever seen. The two main actors Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page will no doubt have plenty of opportunities in the not-to-distant future in the film industry. In fact Ellen Page is also in the X-Men 3: The Last Stand movie. She is very talented, a ninteen year old playing a girl thats fourteen, her expressions and tone of voice throughout the film is just very believable. Patrick Wilson is amazing as well, in fact I feel guilty that I actually felt sorry for him throughout the movie. It's like a hated Hayley for what she was doing to him, I have talked to my other friends about this and they have said the same thing. The inspiration I have been told came from Japan. Producer David Higgins had read reports of Japanese schoolgirls ambushing men who surfed the internet for underage dates and later developed the story.

The dialogue is very strong in this, in fact there isn't as much action as there is than conversation between the two characters. But even that is interesting bringing up alot of questions that we ask ourselves when we hear of incidents of men abusing young girls in our newspapers. I don't think there was a minute that went past that I got bored with. It couldn't have been a success without those two actors which as you can see I worship for being in this film. Ellen Page was nearly passed over for the role of Hayley because she had a shaved head for another role when she filmed the audition tape she submitted. I guess that's why she has short hair in this, but then I have seen pictures of her with longer hair and although it makes her look very pretty it also makes her look older than what she is. When I told my friends how old she really is they were baffled! Also, the hype over the surgery part which everyone boasts about isn't as good as what they say. You don't get to see anything, all we see the Jeffs face as we hear sound effects of Hayley cutting away at them. All we get to see is a jar of squashed balls after it has been in the blender, but even that is not so visible because of all the blood that is in it as well. It is still very disturbing though, and it is very believable. I could hear all the guys being silent when the surgery scene was on and all the girls giggling. It is still very cringy that will make you hold onto my private parts. There is nothing in this film that will make you stop and think that this is getting a bit too much. You will think what will they think of next, but they always bring up something more interesting or entertaining for you to watch rather than it just dragging on. I found the ending to be very disturbing of what becomes of poor Jeff. It kept inside my head for the rest of the night!

Hard Candy is a clever title for the film and is truly the most disturbing film out these days to watch. It's better watching it in the theatres but if it's too late then there isn't that long left before it comes out to the UK on rental. I will be buying this film when it goes down in price. I just can't wait to watch this again. It's the only thriller that has less gore and action and more talking that really makes me want to watch again. It is so intellectual and is filmed beautifully. If you can be mature about the theme of this film then you will have a very enjoyable and dark experience. There is some humour that will make you laugh in this as well, maybe some might not have been intentional but at least it doesn't clash with the more serious approach to it. I would say this is more of a drama rather than thriller, but then when the action parts do kick in their the most thrilling pieces I have seen in a film. Watch it now!

STAY ALIVE * (TERRIBLE)

This is the only horror film of this year that I didn't want to watch. The trailer looked terrible and reminded me of the straight-to-video storyline of Gamebox Version 1.0 that even though was very corny from the acting to the special visual effects it was still a nice concept and a worthwhile rental. Stay Alive unfortunately isn't even worthy of that. In fact this should of been a straight-to-video release for taken a good concept and destroying it with a pathetic villain, some very pathetic moments that you think they should of learned by now with the horror genre, and some very crappy special visual effects. This was not entertaining at all, and I think I have only talked to one person that said they liked this film, but then he loved When A Stranger Calls! So, enought said! I would of thought the gore would of at least been a feast to watch for a teen slasher, but even that was dry. I don't know how this got into the cinema but it will surely not be in there for long. If you must read more of this review then go ahead, but if you just want to know if it's a good film then I will say that it is a disaster of a movie! Absolutely pathetic!

To the 100 million gamers living in the United States today, the more super-realistic and obsessively addictive a videogame is, the better. After the brutal death of a friend (Milo Ventimiglia), a teenage male called Hutch (Jon Foster) goes to the funeral and meets a girl called Abigail (Samaire Armstrong) taking pictures of everyone that is also a friend to the diceased and also has a box full of that guys videogames. This includes a survival horror game titled Stay Alive that was the last thing that guy was playing before he was killed including two of his friends. Hutch that has this in his possession tells his other friends that get together one night to play it as it is still in beta testing. This includes the photographer Abigail, tech guru Swink, goth girl October, her hardcore gaming brother, Phineus. The game is inspired by the true-life story of the shocking 17th century noblewoman known as The Blood Countess. They all have to read the following phraise in order to get the game started, in which they all pick characters that they can change their clothing and weaponary. The graphics are spectacular unlike anything they have ever played before with supernatural chills and death-defying challenges that push the players to the edge. The objective is to get to the tower beyond the graveyard which is their start-off point and find the countess and stab her three times, one inlcuding the forehead. When a guy called Miller (Adam Goldberg) from hutch's work office gets his throat slashed the same night playing online with the group, the group start suspecting theres something sinister about the game as Adam's character got killed in the game with his throat being slashed! The group of New Orleans gamers who have played this underground copy realize that once they die in the game - they die for real. But soon they realize you don't have to keep playing the game for the Countess to get them. They must defeat the Blood Countess or accept their fates. A spoiler is coming up so if you dont want to read it then start reading the next paragraph NOW. The three survivors turn out to be Jon Foster and Samaire Armstrong (what a surprise!) Also Frankie Muniz that they make you think he died by the Countess but comes back near to the end to save the other two survivors by burning the female ghost and saves the day. Absolute rubbish if you ask me! Before Frankie makes an apperance to be the hero, Jon manages to nail the corpse of the dead witch in her tower which ends the horrific videogame, but then she awakes in the real world! Yep, now it gets even worse! And in the end all it took was a simple fire. Oh, and the twist at the end is... The videogame Stay Alive ends up in the game stores on the shelfs for anyone to buy. Who the hell would of published this! And then we get a glimpse of the witch in her tower before going to the end credits, but then didn't we see her getting burnt to death? How did she come back to life!?

Director William Brent Bell have done a messed up job with this film, but then he also helped write the script with the producer Matthew Peterman which is just so unrealistic that it is just eye rolling. The characters are just so 2 dimensional that it's hard to like any of them, even the people that you can tell their trying for you to like. In the end it's just you routing for the next person to get killed, and even the death scenes are just terrible! Just to name a few actors and actress' that star in this film are Jon Foster, Samaire Armstrong, Sophia Bush and Phineus... Oh, and the only person that I recognize Frankie Muniz that starred in Agent Cody Banks and Racing Stripes and was the main lead in the hit television series Malcom in the Middle that plays the more geeky kind of player that is the information guide about the game to the rest of the group. It would also help if many of these performers can act properly, Samaire and Jon are the main characters and they do a good job but it's a shame it is very laughable since their actions and conversations would not be the same if you were in their predicament.

As I was saying about the death scenes, they are so moderate that I reckon this would have passed to have been a lower certificate rather than a fifteen! In fact I have seen more gore and violence in the Mummy action movies than this! And that was aimed more for younger teenagers. Most of the death scenes you can see the aftermath of the dead body with some blood around them. There is one death that you can see what is happening, but the special visual effects are so crap that it isn't shocking and yucky at all. That is when one of the characters from the group gets ran over by horses and stage coach which the Countess rides around in! Oh, there is another where a police man plays the game when the group of friends try spilling out it's secret, but instead of one of the cops helping instead he decides to play it. All we see is blood being splattered on the window of his car, but then it's the most realistic death scene in the whole film. It soon turns out that the rest of the teenage group are being tracked down by the police as their now the suspects. It also doesn't reveal anything about the games history, like who couold possibly make a game up like this and also what were their intentions for? George Bush to play on it!? All we're left with is a history lesson about this Countess called Elizabeth which ironically we don't want to know about. Alot of reviews have bantered about this film saying that we see more of the ingame graphics on what their playing rather than reality itself. That's not true, I think there is a fine combination between the fantasy and reality world. In which the cgi for the graphics are superb, it's just a shame about making the special visual effects for the real world. We do get glimpses of the Countess throughout, but cleverly done so all we're left with is shaddows hiding her face, and The Grudge (2004)-style motion effects of the girl walking. There are some good ideas of where they place the girl in the background creating the tension up nicely, but it's a shame that when the jumpy part happens it just doesn't do anything for the viewer watching it.

If you must watch this then I strongly urge you to wait for it to come out on rental, this is definitely not something to waste your time watching in the cinema. Almost everyone I have talked to have hated this film and there are just too many bad reviews and ratings for this. I promise you that you will hate this film. Instead try watching Gamebox Version 1.0, which has the same simular premise but is much better in story wise, and also is more of a action but has a whole deal of suspense. When I was in the cinema watching Stay Alive, I heard alot of people groan at a few parts, especially when coming to the end of the film when the two main actors kiss each other at a very unappropriate time just after the female Armstrong almost got brutally murdered by the Countess Minions. If they could give me a videogame like the one in Stay Alive then I would definitely play it, if you give me a copy of this film then it will go straight in the bin. Avoid.

I know it has been a while, I have had a few things to do. But here are some of the reviews that I have promised including some titles I have recently seen in the cinema.

Hard Candy
Hostel
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Stay Alive
The Break-Up
Miami Vice

I still have the rest of the titles that I have promised to review by now, they are;

The Shaggy Dog
The Pink Panther
Silent Hill
Slither

I promise I will have them done soon. Including other recent titles I have seen in the cinema;

My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Clerks 2
Monster House

Some of my reviews are very long. Some I had to do in two parts since they won't fit all in one post. I promise to have the rest of the reviews up soon. So, keep checking back.

American Psycho

Christian Bale has established himself as a great actor of this generation. That fact can be proven with movies such as "The Machinist", "Batman Begins", "Equilibrium" and this movie I'm about to review, "American Psycho".

American Psycho is Christian Bale playing 'Patrick Bateman', a psychopath hidden behind his rich and pampered life as a New York stock executive. The narrative given by Patrick is something to really listen to. It's what you would expect a psycho to be thinking. This film could be classified under many categories, but personally, I'd place it under psychological thriller. Due to it's somewhat boggling ending, which I still have yet to completely understand. This movie was based on the novel, which I haven't read. So, I'm sure my opinion would be somewhat different from someone who has read the book.

However, Bale delivers another great performance, and I thoroughly enjoyed "American Psycho". If you're in the mood for some thinking, and out of the ordinary horror/slasher entertainment, this is your movie.

Recommended.

Originally posted by Dusty
[b]American Psycho

Christian Bale has established himself as a great actor of this generation. That fact can be proven with movies such as "The Machinist", "Batman Begins", "Equilibrium" and this movie I'm about to review, "American Psycho".

American Psycho is Christian Bale playing 'Patrick Bateman', a psychopath hidden behind his rich and pampered life as a New York stock executive. The narrative given by Patrick is something to really listen to. It's what you would expect a psycho to be thinking. This film could be classified under many categories, but personally, I'd place it under psychological thriller. Due to it's somewhat boggling ending, which I still have yet to completely understand. This movie was based on the novel, which I haven't read. So, I'm sure my opinion would be somewhat different from someone who has read the book.

However, Bale delivers another great performance, and I thoroughly enjoyed "American Psycho". If you're in the mood for some thinking, and out of the ordinary horror/slasher entertainment, this is your movie.

Recommended. [/B]

Spoiler:
he just made up all of the murders. He was just so bored that he thought up a series of murders that he could be committing. If it wasn't for his everyday, boring lifestyle.

Pretty good movie, though.

But the real reason I'm on this thread is to read these fantastic reviews by dementedde! Hard Candy is one of your best rated movies yet? That's terrible. The acting was some of the worse I've seen this year. There was one great scene that I, somehow, found pretty brutal that saved it from being my least favorite film of the year. I'm talking about

Spoiler:
the castration

Originally posted by Solo
I thought the narration really brought it down. Although, Bale's narration of Bateman's "masking" routine is classic. The ending is mind boggling? You must have seen a different American Psycho, because I thought it was pretty damn obvious that

Spoiler:
he just made up all of the murders. He was just so bored that he thought up a series of murders that he could be committing. If it wasn't for his everyday, boring lifestyle.

Pretty good movie, though.

But the real reason I'm on this thread is to read these fantastic reviews by dementedde! Hard Candy is one of your best rated movies yet? That's terrible. The acting was some of the worse I've seen this year. There was one great scene that I, somehow, found pretty brutal that saved it from being my least favorite film of the year. I'm talking about

Spoiler:
the castration

scene, of course. Other than that the movie was mediocre at best, and terribly over hyped.

You helped clear it up for me, because I had trouble finding the meaning. It was 'bogging', IMO, because the ending was so quickly executed, and left me with little evidence of an explination.

Well, I interpreted the ending 2 different ways.

There's the way Solo said it ended, which is perfectly logical, but there's also another meaning that I thought could have been possible. Since Bateman was a high class executive, isn't it possible that he did, indeed, commit all of those murders, yet since he is high up on the food chain, they were covered up for him. And when he talked to the man at the end of the film, remember how he really didn't want to talk about everything Patrick was telling him? I was thinking that that could be because the murders were covered up and therefore, not supposed to be spoken of. He got away with murder.

The other ending works too, but I just thought I'd share that.

I always thought the he wasn't actually called Patrick Bateman, that was his 'killer's' name, his real name was something else since his own lawyer laughed at him when he used that name during the phone call. I haven't seen it in ages, but there's another name he goes by. He's only Patrick Bateman in his head imo.

I thought he actually killed everyone except for

Spoiler:
Paul Allen, who turned out to actually be on a trip

Isn't the sequel a chick?

Originally posted by silver_tears
Isn't the sequel a chick?

Dun dun dun...yes, it's Mila Kunis. But it implies he did kill people, because she strives to be like him or something. I can't remember I only saw half of it.

(19 days late, but oh well)

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

With me being a huge fan of the band, and super pumped for this film, you can imagine my excitement. I have been listening to the soundtrack to this movie since it has come out weeks before the release of the movie, and I was impressed.

The movie starts out with a young Jack Black (JB), A kid that looks exactly what I would expect JB to look like as a kid, growing up in "A town called Kickapoo". After a musical intro featuring Meat Loaf and Ronnie James Dio, two old rockers that still have the voice that could've brought down the Titanic, JB realizes that his strictly religious family will not do, so he runs away to Hollywood after his Ronnie James Dio poster sang to him.

The intro alone was worth the ticket price. The rest of the movie is stocked full with musical bursts of the D that will blow your mind. In fact, there is a scene where JB's voice, being "****ing powerful" as it is, actually does indeed blow someones mind.

So with the plot being these two guys taking a car and going to break into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to get the Pick of Destiny. They meet a delightfull amount of charecters. A Guitar shop owner (Played by Ben Stiller in a hilarious Cameo). Then in a random diner, they meet a stranger (Played by Tim Robbins. A Cameo that almost steals the whole movie). As well as a JB shroom trip where he hangs out with Big Foot. To close it all up, a beautiful rock off between The D and the Devil played by Foo Fighters Dave Grohl. Again, the ticket price was worth it just for this rock off, it was amazing.

This movie has awesome music and hilarious comedy that D fans will love. The only problem i had with it, was the plot was completely random, and felt like it was thought out like a stoned writer. Which isn't much of a suprise for a Tenacious D movie.

I give this movie a 4/5

Sounds awesome. I'll probably be seeing it on Friday. It's gonna kick some serious ass.

Originally posted by Solo
Sounds awesome. I'll probably be seeing it on Friday. It's gonna kick some serious ass.

I'm a fan of the D's albums and their HBO DVD, but this just didn't work too well for me. The powerful voice scene was my favorite.

6/10

Originally posted by Solo
I'm a fan of the D's albums and their HBO DVD, but this just didn't work too well for me. The powerful voice scene was my favorite.

6/10

1. Intro
2. Master Exploder (My voice is ****ing powerful)
3. Deactivated lasers
4. Demon scene.

Plus Jack Black = hilarious. Everything he did in the movie made me laugh.