"The Vomitorium" - Reviews By KMC Members

UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION **** (RECOMENDED)

This sequel, to the surprise smash hit Underworld is alot different bringing forth more of a fantasy tale in a more darker and violent style. In complete honesty I didn't like the original that much at all when I went to watch it in the theatres. There are quite a few monster movies out trying to cash in on the genre and especially involving werewolves and vampires. That is what Underworld was about; vampires against werewolves in the violent action thriller in the same sort of style as Blade has been. The special visual effects weren't impressive or believable and it was more focused on a storyline that I didn't care much about rather than the action. The sequel to 2003's surprise hit, Underworld Evolution has garnered great early-buzz across the pond and offers boys in the audience another chance to see Kate Beckinsale in those Lycra leggings once again. I have heard from some people saying this film is rubbish which is what put me off watching it in the theatres until it came out on rental a few weeks ago. They say it is not as good as the original, which put me off even more knowing that I didn't like the original that much (even though I bought the two disc special edition but only because it only cost $3.00.) But I was shocked on how wrong they were when I finally gotten around to renting it.

Underworld Evolution traces the beginnings of the ancient feud between the Death Dealers (vampires) and the Lycans (werewolves) as Selene (Beckinsale) and michael (Scott Speedman) try to discover the secrets of their bloodlines. Accordingly this leads them into a battle to end all wars as the immortals finally face their retribution. Like the great good verses evil yarn Nightwatch, flashbacks trace the beginning of the feud and a modern tale of action, intrigue and shape-shifters develops. Selene and Michael are forbidden to love and both are at risk from the werewolves and vampires. A terrible new foe that poses a monsterous threat to all has also been thrown into the equation; Bill Nighly. He brings a depth to his role as sleepy vampire Viktor, whom he kills his prey through the film in search for his brother by stabbing them with his tentacles that are also his wings. He kind out reminds me of the main villain in Blade 2 by the make-up. He is in search for his brother which happens to be a werewolf, they have been fighting for centries until they were summond into dark; the werewolf was locked up and Viktot, in search for his buried brother to reunite with him and settle their differences, was summond to sleep.Their father is played by esteemed Sir Derek Jacobi whos characters name is Alexander Corvinus.

I think it is better if you watch the original before this, even though it's rubbish it will give you the just of how it all began and will clear up a few things that will be confusing if he just watched Evolution firstly. There is a few flashbacks in the beginning with the narration of Beckinsale explaining what happened before, but she doesn't go in depth to explain everything, which I can't really criticise since it would make the film go on even longer if it was all explained and noone would then feel the need to watch the original. The age certificate has boosted up to a eighteen meaning we will get to see plenty of over-the-top gore by the bucket loads. There are some great yucky parts including a breathtaking final that involves the wings of a helicopter that makes one hell of a death scene for the eyes. The special visual effects are amazing, there is still some scenes that they could of made better but is definitely better than the originals adding some even better transformation scenes of werewolves and some creepy models that look true-to-life. Scary for all you monster lovers that get scared by werewolves.

I will be buying this on DVD when it goes down in price, so I think I could manage not watching it for over half a year again but it will be worth it later on. I won't say it is suspenseful or that the acting is something special, but then the original didn't achieve this, but it's just fun to see the dark set pieces and action sequences. The storyline may confuse you even though you might have watched the original and takes time for it all to sink in. The opening scene is done nicely but then it will go off-topic making you think what the hell was the point of putting that there! And you don't hear anything else from that until over half way through the film which a twist kicks in. If you're a fan of the original then there is a chance you could enjoy this or hate this, depending if you could handle the more surreal storyline to it. But this is a film I will be watching again... After I have bought it.

JARHEAD *** (GOOD)

An unconventional war-movie that eschews big battles and cardboard characters. Jarhead (named after the U.S Marine's distinctive haircut) focuses largely on the soldier's emotions. I watched it on rental over my friends house, the guy that everyone knows him for being very critical when it comes to films. Not hearing anything about it before I watched it I was suprised how good the film actually was, being that there have been too many unaccurate war films these days that make the American army look like heroes rather than what they actually are, but I am writing about the film not about my views on the army. Even though there is still alot of clitches in this film it did bring up some good points that dares to question certain things that goes on in the army. All these pointers are what we have already gathered anyway but it is still good to see them being shown in modern war films. One of my friends said he hated this as he reckons that everyone who goes out to war have not come back without killing someone. This film shows differently which I agree more to the film rather than my friend on that one.

The ticking timebomb of a plot follows Marine Anthony "Swoff" Swofford (Jake Gyllenhaal) serving in pre-Desert Storm Middle East under Sgt Sykes (Jamie Foxx). Fighting an enemy they cannot see in a country they don't understand, the soldiers use humour to relive tension. Slowing their gung-ho attitude is eroded by the war's questionable morality. We pretty much follow Swoff through the whole time he is in the army without him even killing a single person. It's not about the action in this, we see his how he gets friends there with the whole tradition of burning him with a fire poker and how he coupes with his life out there away from his family and girlfriend. The whole training course he does involve one of his fellow soldiers getting shot and killed for not staying on the ground when he was told to, and him getting caught up in a mission that in the end doesn't involve him shooting anyone that he wanted to do. Sounds boring? It's not that bad actually, as even though this isn't a proper war film full of expensive action pieces, we are treated to male humour and entertainment of what they do in the army.

Completing Sam Mendes' trilogy of American genre movies that includes suburban comedy American Beauty and gangster epic Road to Perdition, this war movie focuses on the short-lived gulf conflict of 1990. Certain to resonate with today's American foreign policy and the current Iraq war, Jarhead will undoubtedly create post-cinema debates with its stirring mix of thought-provoking politics and the way the soldiers act out there.

A great cast memorably features Jake Gyllenhaal who has recently been in Brokeback Mountain as the vulnerable Swoff serving under Oscar-Winners Jamie Foxx and Chris Cooper, who burn up celluloid as the leaders of the sniper unit. Jamie Foxx has also been seen in Stealth and Ray. It's a good film but as entertaining as it is, and how true it is to what war is really like it just wouldn't do anything for me in watching it the second time around. There are some memorable parts that will stay with you for a while, not because it is disturbing but it has stuff we have never seen in a war film before; Like the guys get to watch a porn film only for one of them to find out that his wife is the performer with another man in it! He crys and shouts that he wants to go home and has to be taken away. It isn't so much upsetting and some parts can be funny, but that doesn't hide the fact that you will forget them anytime soon as it is something 'new' for us.

I would want to watch this again but after I can forget alot of it, not worth buying unless you disagree with blockbuster war films like Pearl Harbour only because they change it to make the American army look good in it! I would say Jarhead is in the same sort of style as Full Metal Jacket, but just don't expect it to be as good, obviously. I think there will be a few war films out in the future that will use the same method as Jarhead, but this will always be a little gem. I don't think the girls will enjoy this film, though, unless their happy to see guys act immature. I would say this is more for the boys.

GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN' * (TERRIBLE)

Curtis "50 Cent" jackson, one of the biggest and most popular stars in hip-hop, is the charismatic driving force behind Get Rick or Die Tryin'. Discovered by Eminem and led to worldwide fame, 50 Cent follows his mentor's path by making the jump from music to movies. The director of six-time oscar nominee Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot) takes the chair and pretty much looks set to repeat the success of 8 Mile which starred Eminem. The both films go on about both their lifes and how they became famous from being in the gheto coping with the hard life which makes them almost look like heroes. In my opinion I think both the films are over hyped, especially with GRODT, I mean, it is based on 'Fiddie's' shady past of being shot nine times! I'm sure one of those shots was straight to the head and he still managed to survive. I don't know much about the rapper and I know I will get disrespected off many of you on the Forum, but, I think he is over exhagerating on that one. At least with 8 Mile it was more believable and was at least entertaining all the way through. I got bored with GRODT as soon as it started. One film that I just got bored very easily with, read on to find out why.

The drama focuses on an orphan Marcus (Fiddie) whose mother has been murdered. Marcus has always wanted to be a rapper but turns to dealing drugs to pay the rent. As his world spirals out of control, he begins to apply the same manic intensity to his writing as he does to dealing by writing down his words to stay sane. For years he endures this living hell, until a tragedy nearly kills him and forces a change in lifestyle. He gets shot nine times by a jelous hooligan and is then left for dead. But will Marcus escape the violence of the hood and become the rap artist he was meant to be? I think we can all guess the answer to that one.

There is nothing we haven't seen before in this except it is supposed to be a true story of what happened to the 50 Cent rapper before he made it big and was back living in the hood. His acting is rubbish, nothing in comparison to the surprising acting skills of Eminem. I suppose the only treat the girls will get from watching this is the chance to check out 50 Cent's body. I suppose people who like these types of films will not get bored but will definitely admit that it doesn't stand out from anything else. Maybe if a more talented actor to play the part of Marcus could boost the film up in my book but then that would be frowned upon many people.

I didn't like this film at all and could do without watching it again for the rest of my life. I won't pay money to rent this out, and thank god that I lend it off my friend because he claimed it's supposed to be good (but then he also liked When A Stranger Calls). If I even payed a penny to watch this I would of been mad! Avoid this film if you don't like the genre and 50 Cents, because you would definitely hate this. I think the only way your going to enjoy this is if you like these 'gang war' films. 50 Cents can't save this one I'm afraid.

FUN WITH DICK AND JANE ** (NOT BAD)

Although Jim Carrey's career choices have created two fan-bases for the multi-talented actor - Fun With Dick and Jane offers the chance for Jim to simultaneously display his acting and funnyman skills. It is a remake of the classic 1977 film starring George Segal and Jane Fonda. However I found Jim's acting to not being as funny as what he has been in the past, maybe it's a sign of how old he is getting? Maybe it is because the film still limits him to how insanely funny he actually can be. One of my friends hate him because he reckons Jim is only good for pulling faces and acting like a maniac (as he was found on Ace Ventura Pet Detective), but I have seen him in more serious films and have shown that he can actually act when he wants to. I love Carrey's films, especially A Series of Unfortunate Events that allows him to pull on multi personalities in a more darker way, but Fun With Dick and Jane I have to admit was not that funny. Sure it did have it's moments but didn't do any justice for Carrey at all. I was very disapointed in it, but that's comparing it with his other films, as a film by itself it wasn't too bad only because of the storyline and some jokes that were said and done.

The plot follows a middle-class couple Dick (Carrey) and Jane (Tea Leoni replacing Cameron Diaz) who have it all - swimming pool, two-cars, big house - until stressed executive Dick is inadvertently involved in a schandal at work. The American dream soon turns into an American nightmare as Dick is shown the door and the couple face losing everything they have when the company gets busted. With a mounting pile of bills to pay and a desperate desire to maintain their luxurious lifestyle, Dick and Jane start organising various heists and steal from their rick friends in an effort to make ends meet. Like Carrey goes around everyones garden in the neighbourhood in the night and steal their grass to put into his front garden. The next day everyone has patches missing from their garden except for Carrey's. Whilst embarking on the crime spree, their marriage gets exciting again and the couple rediscover a zest for life that puts the fizz back into a stagnant relationship. You may think that isn't much of a storyline and how they would be able to end it, well that is when they discover the truth behind how the company got busted and work together with a alcoholic ex-employee who helped with the scam to get the money back from the powerful manager who devized the whole thing and got the company out of business by taking all of its money.

Directed by the man behind the very funny Galaxy Quest, Dean Parisot, written by Freaks And Geeks Judd Apatow and starring the impressive Alec Baldwin, Fun With Dick and Jane completes the dazzling recent trio of amoral films about lawbreaking partners that includes Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. It just seems to be the market for it these days, but I would say that this is the worst movie of the other two I have compared this film with. But a movie in whole is not that bad but I just didn't laugh as much as I thought I would and especially not from Jim Carrey. I didn't like Tea Leoni's character at all, it made her seem she was trying to act just like Jim Carrey to be funny. Her acting was just over-the-top, which I know Carrey's is as well but he is known for that, and just made me roll my eyes at her.

It mixes slapstick heist scenes with corporate America and with the rubber-faced Carrey back in the comedy wheelhouse, unfortunately this is a film I will not be adding to my Jim Carrey DVD collection and will probably watch it again in the future, but not anytime soon. You will be disapointed in this, I watched this in the theatre and I have to say I could hear forced laughs from the audience that was mainly just one or two from time to time. I did laugh at some scenes which is why I have given it a two star which shows it isn't a waste. If you're a fan of Carrey then watch this as I don't think you will be entirely disapointed, but then you wouldn't think this is the best either. Rent it out, just do that before you decide to buy it - I did that, and now I'm not buying the DVD.

THE TERMINAL ** (NOT BAD)

Steven Spielburg is one of the most powerful people in the film industry at the moment and is easily one of the best directors of his generation. When coupled with exemplary actor Tom Hanks, you can see why expectations surrounding The Terminal are flying higher than the aeroplanes that land at the airport in which the film is set. In fact, for this production an exact studio replica of the arrivals terminal at JFK airport was built. Projects that Spielburg and Hanks have worked on together in the past have tended to be gritty, action-packed dramas, like Saving Private Ryan, so the film is an interesting depature. I watched this on a PV rental when it first came out in the stores after it being in the theatres, I was impressed with what I was watching and was quite clever of how Steven could kill you're time without realizing it since it is all filmed in the airport setting. I won't say it is as good as Steven's other projects that he has done in the past, but then those were all classic blockbusters of his that got him where he is today. This is more of a slow-paced drama which focuses more on emotion of feeling sorry for Hank's character getting trapped in the airport for a long time. It did bring motion to me and was a good film, but only to watch once in my opinion, and even the first time did have some moments that I noticed my eyes was drifting away from the screen.

At times quite touching and tender, The Terminal is a devised comedy that explores one man's triumph over the testing situation thrown his way. The man is Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks with a Eastern European accent) whose home country has entered civil war as he is on a plane to America. Arriving at JFK airport he technically has a ticket from nowhere and, as a bureaucratic anomaly, must remain and live in the arrivals lounge. The days turn to weeks and the weeks turn to months. As time goes by Viktor learns to adapt to what where initially very alien surroundings. As we follow his journey of discovery so the audience shares in the serendipity and the absurd - the boredom and the beauty - of airport life. Of course, protagonists must have their antagonist. For Viktor this comes in the shape of the uptight airport official Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci) who plays Tom to Viktor's Jerry and, as in the cartoon, is always outsmarted at the last moment. There is more than just trouble int he air, however. Amelia, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones, is a well-observed flight attendant who is drawn to Viktor's plight and, after spending some time with him, becomes firstly strangely drawn, then beguiled by his spirit and his humour. Now comes a spoiler for the ending, if you don't want to read it then go to the next paragraph NOW; In the end Tom Hanks manages to leave the airport finally and into the streets of America. I didn't like the ending as much as it turned out to be the whole cringy concept of having everyone clap when he leaves the place and everyone is being kind to him like a typical happy ending you get in romantic comedies.

It may sound like a interesting synopse but it may be bit of a risk to if you will be entertained all the way through. I think it's really good until it gets to the chemistry between Hanks and Zeta-Jones which then goes downhill and shows that it is running out of jokes quite quickly. The way of how Hanks adapts to his surroundings is funny but yet done to an extent that it is not over-the-top, however, I didn't like Hanks acting as much in this one as you can see he is trying desperately to make you laugh even when it is clearly unnecessary.

Not a bad film to watch with the whole family and maybe something that particular couples may enjoy, but this is only worthy of a rental and nothing more. I think everyone could say that it is worth watching the first time but after that it's best not to until you have forgotten what it is all about which will take quite a while as the material is quite memorable. At a time of increased focus on security and immigration, The Terminal offers a refreshingly level-headed approach.

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR *** (GOOD)

After years of speculation, debate and delayed projects, finally the inconic monsters from two of the scariest film franchise battle each other on Earth for the first time that was once on the big-screen before coming out on rent and to buy in the stores. The cult British director Paul W.S. Anderson is in the chair on this one, as soon as I found that out my expectations went downhill on this one. The teaser trailer came out about half a year before the film was released in the theatres which got me even more excited everytime I saw it appearing in the trailers before other films I watched in the theatres. But W.S. Anderson, I mean, C'mon! I simply loved the Resident Evil franchise for the Playstation and the Playstation 2, but when finally the movie was brought out by the same director of Alien Vs. Predator it turned out to be extremely disapointing. It was a pathetic translation of the game to movie with it's horrible special visual effects, dialogue and even the storyline was not the same as the mansion for the original Resi Evil game. So I completely gave up hope with this director, but thought I might give him a second chance and watch Alien Vs Predator only because I watched and enjoyed the Aliens and Predator movies. The results weren't as good as what I was hoping for it to be and is another letdown with compliments once again from Paul W.S. Anderson! Thanks alot!

So, how is the showdown of the century set up? Well, Charles Weyland (Lance Henriksen) is an industrialist billionaire and thinks there is an ancient pyramid buried under the ice of Antartica by his people monitoring the world through a satelite he has in space. He and a hired archaeological team travel there and find that there are holes in the snow leading straight down to the pyramid, could it be that another team have gotten to it before they have? Or is it from 'fire stars' dropping from outer space that when it got to the bottom contains a batch of five lethal Predators to do battle with what is inside the pyrmid. The team end up going down and make their discovery. So, why not go inside and take a look around? As soon as they got in they triggered a trap, that brings forth aliens that have been locked up inside it, so it is now time for the Predators to do battle with the aliens as they have been wipping out the alien race for centuries. The team of humans that went in cannot get out and are stuck in between the battle of the aliens and predators in which their not letting the humans take any sides and kill them without warning.

The settings are just great simply because the budget is high in this one, but that means that the money deserves to be well spent which amazingly it does giving us some top notch special visual effects, weaponary, death scenes and settings. However the dialogue and the way the film is treated is once again corny, surreal and action-packed. That is when the director comes into the topic again.

The aliens and predators are much better than what we saw a guy wearing the alien costume on in the original and what the predator looked like in its original. There is a combination of special visual effects which look stunning towards the aliens capturing markings and the lighting on them perfectly, and then there is animatronics for close up shots which work as good but then from time-to-time the camera angles don't do the robotic aliens any justice especially one memorable part when one of the aliens is fighting one of the predators. The predators may not look as impressive, simply because they are men dressed under a mask and some armor but there is a form of upgrade to them and looks cooler and better, with their weapons back just like what we saw in the original that are sometimes overly used but not to the extent that it gets repetitive. In fact the action between these two species don't get as repetitive as different action sequences have different things happening, but then it's normally showing the humans trying to escape from them, with almost all of them dying different ways. The overall special visual effects are great, even though near to the end it does start getting a little unbelievable as if they are almost running out of money and had to keep some cheap effects quickly done to give an ending.

The dialogue is you're typical one linear stuff from Hollywood that is both cringy and cheesy to say the least. It's just a typical action movie that just wasn't supposed to be called that. There is no suspense or horror in it what so ever unless you show to a child, obviously. The Alien fans will definitely be disapointed but the Predator fans may not be as much, simply because that had some action involved. The way these species kill the humans are not as inventive as what I wanted them to be, and is not that gory at all unless you call green ooze running from the aliens is disgusting or when the Predator removes his mask to find what the ugly monster-like creature it is. There isn't much creativety behind this as well, and is not as clever as it would like to think it is. The only reason why I have given this a three star is because it is still entertaining and manages to give some impressive eye candy which is the reason why I liked it. The storyline is good, and if it was thought more carefully could of been a even better film than what it is. However taking out the horror and adding in more action is a big no-no to the fans. For those who like cheesy slashers will really enjoy this, probably not to the extreme that you thought it was brilliant, but might be one of the best action films of that year. A disapointment indeed. Worth renting and buying only if you're after the effects and action.

THE PUNISHER ** (NOT BAD)

The theme for revenge is hot in Hollywood at the moment. In Kill Bill Quentin Tarantino's The Bride took two volumes over it, while Man on Fire sees Denzel Washington doling it out in dramatic style. The Punisher takes things a step further, doing it super-hero style, in an adaptation of the Marvel Comics series. This is one of the most violent comic books to date from Marvel Comics which is why this is the first comic adapted to movie basis that has a adult certificate slapped all over it because of its gruesome torture scenes and action sequences. After watching this it got me even more excited hearing that a film from the Ghost Rider comics is soon in production. I love my comic to movie blockbusters these days, however I think I would say that The Punisher is my least favourite heroes. It feels as if it has been done B-movie style as well which surprised me when I heard John Travolta is in this, but then he has been in a few rubbish films these days. The Punisher wasn't much of a good movie which I thought that everyone would surely say the same as me. I haven't heard many people talk about this horrible film, maybe because it didn't make much of an impact in the theatres, and I would of given this a one star. But then when I went to a house party a few months ago a guy brought around The Punisher and I was forced to watch it again! I didn't mind it second time around but didn't pursuade me that it is a good film. This guy though loved it, as I could tell by the comments he was giving some of the scenes throughout which made me realize that people are going to like this just for the violence. I mean, that is why I enjoyed Sin City so much, but then it also had a great storyline and was filmed so well.

Thomas Jane is Frank Castle, the undercover FBI agent and former Marine, his last job had him and arresting some of the crime bosses men which he was not very happy about. So he had his men to murder Thomas Jane one day at his beach house where he was throwing a party. The people murdered the guests, his wife and his child, but the only person who was left for dead was the guy they wanted dead in the first place; Frank Castle. Washed up on the shore after the killers think they have disposed of him too, which I have a hard time believing the amount of bullets he took as well as an explosion, Frank finds a black t-shirt with menacing white skull on the front and becomes The Punisher. With nothing left to lose, he sets himself on one path, to punish those responsible. Top of this pile is Howard Saint (John Travolta), a seemingly respectable businessman who is in fact the ruthless crime boss who sent the men out to kill Frank. But now he wants the Punisher dead and sends a barrage of heavily armed heavies to find him since he has become a nusance cleaning out Howard's money and setting up traps to get him to suspect his wife is having an affair with his brother. Bent on his task, the Punisher now acts as a one-man vigilante army, becoming the judge, and executioner rolled into one. The Punisher also makes some friends with his roommates in his flat that tries to get him out of his shell and to talk to him. Their all misfits of society all living under one roof.

Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh, this is one film that can't save itself with its violent tone. But then there have been plenty of comic book adaptions after this that has been more violent. The Punisher shouldn't really be classed as a superhero as he doesn't have any special powers, but then doesn't wear a mask or have gadgets just for him to be called a hero since he gets hurt and shot plenty of times through the whole film not to just die making him seem like a superhero. The whole movie just seems to be a B-movie rather than a Blockbuster. Maybe it is supposed to be like one, I don't know. But all I do know is you will find better action sequences in the Daredevil movie which is saying something. Normally with films like this they leave a breathtaking final at the ending on how the main villain dies. John Travolta doesn't have anything spectacular happening to him at all that just lets us down thinking there is going to be a huge surprise for the final mutilation.

There are some good parts that I must confess but I can only name two decent action sequences and only a few parts that I liked through the whole film. I think it pretty much depends if you have seen alot of violence in your time to decide if this is bloody enough for you. I would say the Playstation 2 game of The Punisher is much more violent than this, and that is all in computer animation! You might like the fact that there are isn't much special visual effects in this at all, and is all relied on clever camera work and blood packs on people to do the messy work which I must say does the job nicely. Like I said earlier on, there are some good parts which I will mention below. If you don't want to know then read the next paragraph NOW. John Travolta sends a muscular guy out to the flat to get The Punisher which shows him and the Punisher battling it out going from room to room through walls and doors. The amount of things the Punisher does to this guy for him to keep standing up is exhiliarating only to find that he brakes his neck when he falls down some stairs. Also near to the ending when the Punisher infiltrates Travolta's building is great to show the Punisher shooting bloody patches into peoples legs and arms, and for him to tie Travolta by his legs to a back of a moving car heading into a burning wreck of other cars exploding is good but nothing special.

I would think twice before you buy this DVD. The guy who I watched it with love this film as it was clear by that day who showed there are people out there who would... I hate to say... Love this film! Yuck! I would say it was an alright experience but nothing I would be unhappy with watching it again in my life. Make sure you rent it first before deciding if your on that guys side or mine.

SUPER SIZE ME **** (RECOMENDED)

Move over Michael Moore there is a new documentary filmmaker around, and his name is Morgan Spurlock who is a man on a mission. We live in a fast food culture, and obesity, particularly in America, is becoming a major health issue. In the middle of all of this are the fast food outlets, insisting they are not part of the problem. Spurlock is out to prove otherwise in this clever documentary that is directed, written, narrated and starring Morgan Spurlock. It won so many awards in festivals that no wonder it was so popular and enjoyed so much when it hit the theatres and the rent stores. I don't think there is a group of people I haven't hanged around that haven't watched or haven't heard about this movie. I enjoyed this so much and opened my eyes alot more than what they were before on the fast food chains. We think we already know everything about what they put in our burgers at McDonalds for meat and the chicken in our chicken nuggets, but that's when Spurlock comes in and gives a full disturbing explaination of what they do to these cows and chickens and what we're actually eating from them. He doesn't just tell us what happens to you, he also shows us.

By using himself as a human guinea pig, Morgan will eat nothing but fast food for one month, and when offered it, will always take the 'super size' option. Also he must have had everything from the menu before the month is over. This documentary takes a look at the startling results. All of this is because two girls sued McDonalds for turning them big, Morgan has a look to see if what their saying is true and McDonalds is the reason why they are the way they are. Interlinked with the story of his new diet regime are revealing interviews with doctors like Dr. Daryl Isaacs and Dr. Lisa Ganjhu are the main two it is focused on and also fast-food devotees, who seem to have an astounding lack of awareness about the contents of the products they consume.

This is a very funny documentary as Morgan is always adding in humour by jolts, but it is also shocking at the same time as we realize we know not that much as what we thought we did. I really like the opening to film which involves the track from one of the Queen songs. It is evengly spread out and most of what is mentioned will stay with you for ages, I still remember tons from that film and I watched it when it was back in the theatres in 2004! Like Michael Moore's documentary films it didn't last very long on rental and to buy in the stores before it came out on television and has been on quite a few times already. I think it's the same for all the documentaries that have been in the theatres, but then there are so many being made these days! I think Super Size Me will stand out from most of them and is going to be a inspiration to documentary filmmakers for their future projects.

This paragraph will explain a few scenes from Super Size Me, so if you only want to read one or two, or nothing at all then start reading the next paragraph NOW. A man has been interviewed for how many times he has been to his local McDonalds. He has been a ridiculous amount of times that they have a banner outside saying his name and he is their number one customer. He eats there everyday and even proposed to his wife there! He loves the place so much and it all happened only because he bought a burger from there on the way home one day to find he drove back to have more. What is shocking is that he is a tall and skinny guy for the amount of burgers he has ate. Morgan shows graphic scenes of him forcing to eat his meals from McDonalds to the point that we see him throwing up. He put on so much weight throughout the test, the doctors said to him he should give up and that was only a few days into it! His girlfriend said that their sex life hasn't been that good, he gets tired too easily and she is the one on top all the time.

This is a great film to watch even if you think you know alot about fast food, this could surprise you! I would say this is the number one documentary to buy on DVD, not only because it is knowledgable but also because of the humour and how entertaining Morgan makes it. I would definitely watch this again and would buy it on DVD if it was for a very cheap price. If you want to cut down on food then watch this film as it would help. I don't think it is as terrifying as some critics make it out to be, saying you will not look at another burger the same way again, as everyone wouldn't care about that. But it would remind you of the film when you do eat fast food, though.

OPEN WATER *** (GOOD)

When I saw the trailer and the poster for this film it stated it is a combination of Jaws and The Blair Witch Project. The Jaws part I could understand since the film is about a couple getting stranded out in sea and heading into shark water. But the Blair Witch part? Maybe it's because the whole film is filmed with digital video cameras giving that quirkyness feel that went on in the Blair Witch Project. Or maybe it's because it is based on true events of what happened to a couple. Also the people who played the couple were really sent into the sea with sharks which what we see from their expressions is real terror, which seems to be mostly the hype over this film. Alot of people didn't like The Blair Witch Project because of all the hype over it's supposed to be scarrier than The Exorcist, it wasn't, but then that doesn't mean it wasn't disturbing or creepy. I admit I was disapointed the first time but that was because my expectations were too high but when I watched it again I started appreciating the sheer brilliance of their method of filmmaking and the clever ideas they used that turned it into a psychological classic that has been spoofed in loads of movies and talked about over the world. I think Open Water is trying to get the same response as TBWP did, except they wanted all the comments to be good about it. except, unfortunately the responses are as neutral as TBWP was and is not as popular.

We follow an American couple, Daniel and Susan (Daniel Travis and Blanchard Ryan) on an idyllic holiday in the Bahamas. But disaster strikes the pair when they are accidentally left behind while out at a sea scuba diving. The person on the boat that did the head count of the all the guests made a mystake and thought everyone was back on safely until they got back to the island in which it was too late for the unfortunate couple. We witness their last few hours out in sea before they plunge to their doom. Cold, alone and miles from land the couple are in shark-infested waters and, like vultures, the sharks are beginning to circle. Unlike vultures, the sharks are not going to wait for their prey to die naturally first! About fifteen minutes of it is made of terrible quality including the acting. It's as if their all amatures and don't get the just of it until their out in the water. The dialogue is very unnecessary that is supposed to show the chemisty between the couple and what their like, I would say that some people wouldn't care about them as when their out in the water we still know nothing about them! There is something awkward shots through the whole film of unnecessary zoomed in shots which it's supposed to act like a proper movie but you're still reminded by them that there are cameras there taking out alot of its atmosphere and suspension that this movie could of been. There is bit of a twist at the end which if you don't want to find out then start reading the next paragraph NOW! The water-proof camera the couple take out to take photographs with is found in a shark whilst someone is gutting it to hear the dialogue of how puzzled they are. I suppose that is what the filmmakers mean when they say it is based on true events since they have evidence from that camera of what happened to those poor couple. But it still doesn't mean they were eaten by sharks! Daniel is the first one to die from bleeding to death by how many times the sharks have been bitting him, and strangely not his partner Blanchard. She has a very disturbing death, in my opinion, when she realizes there is no hope for her and she lets herself sink to the bottom of the sea for the sharks to get her. You see her head going underwater which is a shocking and clever way to make an ending for that film. It's a shame they couldn't do that for the opening sequences as well.

The director Chris Kentis had help from his wife to make this film with a tight shoe-string budget that didn't cost them much to make at all. You can tell this with the picture and sound quality in a few places. The acting from Daniel and Blanchard is pathetic on land which doesn't even look like their making an effort at all. They do bulk up a little when their out at sea with their acting but that only shines through some dialogue but then I guess thats because Mr Kentis sent them into the sea with real sharks so I should imagine there was no acting involved in that one. I still think the camera angles could of been better as alot of times we're just shown zoomed in faces of the sharks which doesn't even look like their near the couple! It is about an hour in the film that we see this couple getting surrounded by sharks anyway, alot of time is wasted on the boat showing it leaving and the acting of other people on that boat. Also alot of shots of the surroundings are taken as well with a fresh mix of caribbean music which even now I don't think suited the mood for the film, but then that is probably the only music they could afford unless they had someone to do it for them. The couple also get attacked by jellyfish before swimming into shark territory so alot of moans and groans are from that as well.

This film is good but not something I could sit through again. I remember exactly what happened as it didn't go on for that long, but the shots of the scenery does as if their trying to stretch the film on longer. I know alot of people hated this film so I would say that if you can't appreciate the filmmaking methods like used in Touching the Void and The Blair Witch Project then you will definitely not like this. I could probably watch it again but only if it is someone I know that haven't watched it and would appreciate it. Buying the DVD is out of the question, only worth renting out and only to watch it by yourself. If you watched it in a group of people then there WILL be at least one person who will not be able to sit all the way through because of how 'boring' it is. The ending is the best, though, so even if you have to sacrifice to watch all of it just for the ending would be worth it.

MAN ON FIRE *** (GOOD)

With two films in 2004 out in the same month, fans of Oscar winner Denzil Washington are in for a treat. In Man on Fire he is directed by Tony Scott who did Top Gun and The Last Boy Scout, who is known for his rich visual design and thrilling capture of action sequences. Man on Fire is a film themed on many of flicks that have been out over the last few years telling sadistic tales of revenge. The Kill Bill franchise took the world on by storm as Tarrantino directs some sassy dialogue and martial art action sequences that first kicked it off in a very gory way. Sin City, based from Frank Millers graphic comics was also about vengence told by three perspectives, each have a story to be told filmed in black and white throughout with computer animated backgrounds. All of these had it's unique style behind them but Man on Fire represents the olden revenge flicks that pretty much resembles the PC game Max Payne in the next line; 'A man with nothing to lose'. This is the more 'realistic' look to revenge, which because it is more true to reality makes it the most believable. I wouldn't say as shocking as what we have seen from the other revenge films, but it is definitely disturbing in its own sadistic little way. This was a film I did not expect to be as tragic and upsetting as it was. Little on the action but high on stalking and torture.

Washington's character is an ex-Marine named Creasy. Although not specifically told what has gone on, the audience come to learn that in the past a tragic event befell Creasy and his old Marine buddy Rayburn (Christopher Walken). This has left him a broken man, torn between his religion and the alcohol that numbs his anguish. Crasy drifts into Mexico City, the kidnapping capital of the world, and takes a job as a bodyguard protecting young actress Dakota Fanning. The bond that develops between the two restores Creasy's faith and brings new purpose to his life. But this is shattered one day when Pita is kidnapped. Creasy's lifeline has been stolen and his mind now turns to one task: bloody vengence against those responsible. Turning the tables on the kidnappers, he uses his training to gain the upper hand in a violent pychological battle. Make no mistake, Creasy's revenge is brutal and, at times, visually graphic. But the strength of the film lies in its patient build up. Creasy has gone through an emotional mill and the audience has been there with him. I thought the ending was sad, but if I write it then it would be a spoiler so if you don't want to find out then start reading the next paragraph NOW. Creasy finds the young girl but the only way he is going to get her back from the kidnappers is by trading himself for her which the terrorists kindly accept his generous offer. So it may be a happy ending for her but not for poor Creasy. What I don't understand is that he went through a lot of trouble to get where he was and to just end his life being a slave for her is just... Well... Disturbing to watch. A quite clever ending.

A good film but is not all that violent as what some critics make it out to be. Yes, it does deserve its eighteen certificate as it has got but nothing to go frantic over. There is one good torture scene that involves Washington's victim tied in a car which goes through hell before he finally breaks to Washington, only then to find that the car with him in it gets blown up, so he just ends up dead which is a nice sadistic scene to get that taste of the movies revenge genre. I can't remember it all that well as I watched it on a special showing when it was still in the theatres but what I can say is that I wasn't unimpressed what I saw and has actually made me think these days if I should buy it on DVD for a very cheap price. But then I wouldn't go out of my way unless it came to me firstly. But if you're a fan of Denzil and vengence films then you will be in for one hell of a treat and you could think this is better than the rating I have given it. Don't expect too much blood at all and explosions as well as gunfire, but think the trail Denzil leaves behind of mutilated bodies of what used to be bad people that deserves punishment like that.

THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: THE ROYAL ENGAGEMENT * (TERRIBLE)

Walt Disney studios decides to bring out a sequel to the Princess Diaries that is supposed to be a comedy or errors and complications as director Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman and the Runaway Bride) takes us on another romantic comedy adventure with the princess. For those of you who enjoyed the book and the original film might find this just as good, maybe not better than the original but a worthy sequel. For me it as an hour and a half of plain boredom. I would of never watched this in the theatre if it wasn't for my exgirlfriend I was seeing at the time. I wouldn't even have paid to rent it out if I knew it was going to be that crap! I mean, I could F and blind this movie from hell and back and still I would have enough energy to say something else bad about it. This is definitely not a type of film that is going to be good for the guys and also is more for the child age.

Having finished college, Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hatchaway) is on her way home to the province of Genovia. Except that Mia is no ordinary returnee. For she is actually a princess and her home is the royal residence. Moving into the Royal Palace with her beautiful, wise grandmother Queen Clarisse (Julie Andrews), Mia is overwhelmed by the opulence of her surroundings. Well, overwhelmed for a short period anyway, because before not too long she is well settled into her aristocratic lifestyle. No sooner has this happened, however, that she learns her days as a princess are numbered as the time has come for her to become queen. Mia must lose the tiara and take the crown, but there is a hitch. You see, by curious Genovian in-law, if she is not married within thirty days she forfeits the throne. Mia was starting to think about Mr. Right, but now she must think about Mr. Right-Now.There is no shortage of suitors, but will any of them prove to be her one true love? A tiny bit of a funny scene showing pictures of all the princes to her by a slideshow. Can she force herself to marry for convenience, betraying her heart? Luckily there is no need as Mr. Right arrives in the nick of time! Except he is trying to get Mia to marry him so he can be prince and his weasle of an uncle will then be crowned king, but Mia falls in love with another guy. Will the evil plan end up being a success or will Mia listen to her heart and marry the person that she knows she wants to be with?

I have to say that this is the worst childrens film I have seen in ages. The reason I say for that age group is because the film is just silly. The jokes are pathetic that made me cringe in my seat! At least with the original it was aimed for teenagers, but who would laugh at the jokes in The Princess Diaries 2 I just know! I didn't like the original much either but I would say it is alot better than this heap of junk. After I walked out of the theatre I asked my girlfriend I was seeing at the time what she thought of it, and to my surprise she said she enjoyed it! I don't see how any girl who like romantic comedies in their teenage years would say this is good. Maybe if they were thirteen or fourteen then fair enough, but anyone older than that should be ashamed with themselves. The two characters I hated the most are the two maids who are supposed to be the 'funny girls' of the film. You get a person in loads of films these days that's the comical person that is there only to say a few jokes and do some laughable stunts, but these girls were trying too hard to make me laugh that I could see right through them. It's not their fault though, their just acting, I blame it on the writers. Julie Andrews I was surprised to see her acting comically as well, I liked the way she was in the original, I thought she was funnier when she was acting seriously.

If you have a young girl in the family that hasn't seen this yet then this would probably be ideal for her since it's pretty much a girls film for children. I even found 13 Going on 30 to be better than this and that's saying something! I will try my best not to watch this heap of garbage in my life again and if anyone tries to get me to watch it again I will tell them where to go. Don't watch this if you can't stand romantic comedies or if you like your films to actually be funny. If you must watch it then I urge you to rent this out or even better, rent it off a friend!

COLATERAL ** (NOT BAD)

Director Michael Mann is in the chair for this slick and stylish thriller that is supposed to boast a heafty bucket of action sequences. I was right on the money when I said thriller, but action is this films weakness. Having directed such hits as The Last of the Mohicans, Heat and, the more recent film when this was out, Ali, in Collateral he leads one of Hollywood's biggest stars, Tom Cruise. This film was alright as a thriller, but don't listen at all to anyone that says this film has action involved. I think that's where I went wrong when watching this film on that "special" small screen before it came out on DVD, it's because I was expecting more explosions and gunfire. I was disapointed to what I found, but then was satisfyed that it wasn't a waste of a movie in which did have some thrilling parts. I wouldn't make a fuss over it like some people have, a guy in my workplace where I used to work before said to my exgirlfriend, that I overheard, is this film is amazing! But then he is a serious critic when it comes to movies, so I suppose if you're looking for a more serious film rather than the usual thriller flick then this will be the one for you. I personally didn't like it, though.

The premise of the film is a simple one. Max (Jamie Foxx) is a regular cab driver on a regular nightshift until a regular looking pickup leads to highly irregular consequences. The pickup in question is Vincent (Tom Cruise). He wants Max to drive him to various destinations around town while he meets with some people. Max has had innumerable clients in the back of his cab but Vincent is one that he will never forget. Why? Because Vincent is a contract killer - an assassin - and anything, or anyone, disturbing his mission becomes collateral - a totally expendable factor. Threatened with a damaging trial, a powerful drugs cartel wants the key witnesses disposed of. They have hired Vincent for a mission that the time-poor assassin must perform in one night. So develops a rather curious two way battle as Vincent attempts to carry out his work as quietly as possible, while Max does as much as possible to put him off and draw attention to the pair - but not too much or else vincent will kill him! Meanwhile, led by Detective Fanning (Mark Ruffalo), the LAPD and FBI are hot on Vincent's trail. But as they close in a plot twist suddenly intertwines Max with Vincent even more than before, to the extent that they must rely on each other for survival. Do you want to know what the plot twist is? If you don't then read the next paragraph NOW. Turns out that the key wintess that Vincent has been hired to dispose of is the woman talking to Max in the cab in the beginning before she got out and Vincent entered the cab. Vincent needs to know information about her and Max is the one to give it to him.

Initially, Tom Cruise sounds miscast as the calculating killer, Vincent. With designer stubble and a haircut reminiscent of Richard Gere circa Pretty Woman, this is the actor we as we have never seen him before. But it's a clever departure for Cruise and a gamble that should pay off nicely. Perhaps more impressive is Jamie Foxx. He engages well with the tight script in a role that should herald him as one of the biggest African American stars in Hollywood at the moment.

Like I said earlier, I didn't like this film as much as I thought I would. For those who love their script sharp will probably enjoy this, as even though the plotline sounds simple it is quite a intellectual film, but it just didn't do anything for me. I didn't see anything thrilling about this film. The ending was a disapointment. If you don't want to know about the ending then read the next paragraph NOW. basically Max escapes from Vincent as a chase starts giving way between them both that leads on a train in the same night the whole movie has been going on for that in the end Max shoots Vincent, and he just falls on his seat with blood running down his shirt. That's it! That's the climax we were led up to. But then I suppose it is more convincing than the train exploding as Max jumps out and into the sea.

This is more of a sensible thriller, there is nothing far fetched about it which I think is the direction that Michael Mann wanted for this film that would make us appreciate it more. It was not a terrible film, but I just thought it should of been more entertaining and at least interesting. I have had plenty of opportunites to buy this DVD for such a very cheap price but have always turned the offers down. I am glad I have seen it just like every other film I have watched, otherwise I probably would of heard from other people like that guy who told my exgirlfriend that it is excellent. It's the sort of film that you either love it or you hate it. This remains true to the thriller genre, so don't expect any more out of it than what the genre says it is. If you don't like thrillers then it's best to avoid this one. If you have a low attention span then you might want to watch something more thrilling and entertaining. If you still want to watch it after what I have said about this film then be sure to rent it out before you spend anymore towards it.

CELLULAR **** (RECOMENDED)

Based on the story a Larry Cohen, who wrote the inspiration for last year's Phone Booth, Cellular also has a distinctly telephone oriented plot, which plays out the historic good Samaritan dilemma with a very contemporary technical twist. Luckily for Kim Basinger's character, our protagonist does not ignore the cry for help, but choose to act. If you loved Phone Booth, like I did, then you would love this even if it has a completely change in story and genre type, you can tell tell what this was inspired from.

The protagonist is Ryan (Chris Evens in his starring debut). When he receives a random call on his mobile phone from a hushed, panicked voice, he initially thinks its a prank. The voice belongs to Jessica (Kim Bassigner) who has been kidnapped and is only just able to piece together the smashed telephone in her temporary prison in the attic of her own house. Convincing Ryan to help her, he is quickly thrown into a world of deception and murder on his frantic mission to protect her family and save her life. A detective is thrown into the equation, who is played by William H. Macy (Jurassic Park 3), as he gets involved in the situation. Jason Patric (The Transporter) is the all-round bad guy with a serious attitude problem. Spoiler alert! If you don't want to read the reasons why the bad guys have kidnapped Jessica then go onto the next paragraph NOW. Jason Patric is a corrupt cop and needs Jessica's husband to hand him a tape of what he captured on his videocamera filming Jason and a few other crooked cops killing an innocent person.

As an action-packed suspense thriller, Cellular is a gripping and accomplished effort, and helps continue Basinger on her comeback road following a great performance in 8 Mile. The director David Ellis have done a outstanding job in this one that really got me at the edge of my seat in a few parts. There have been a few times which Jessica has almost escaped from her 'jail' which really puts the pressure at a high note, as it's one of those films that stands out from most of the others because we actually care for the victim in this one!

This is a great thriller combined with action, maybe not as explosive but certainly have got plenty of fire power from weaponary and impressive chase scenes that will make you into a bag of nerves shouting at the screen for the victims to get away safely. Well, maybe not as far as shouting at the screen, but you know what I mean.

I will recomend this to everyone who like their thrillers and action movies. It's also good for those who don't. It's also the sort of film that I should imagine everyone could enjoy so you don't have to worry about who you watch it with, let it be the family or your partner, it's a risk that would be well worth it. I don't think it's suitable for children unless they have watched fifteen rated action films before as the violence is no different from the rest. I will be buying this, but it's not much of a popular film around by me so I might try to get it cheap off Ebay. I would say this is the one to add to your action collection, if you get a chance to watch it then by all means do, you will not be disapointed.

SKY CAPTAIN & THE WORLD OF TOMORROW **** (RECOMENDED)

Picture the scene. You are about to watch Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. The film starts playing, and a huge airship comes into view, flying over fantastic skyscrapers of 1930s New York City. The camera sweeps down onto the street and a scene reminiscent of a good old-fashioned detective film, smoky and mysterous. Except, something feels different and new. That camera sweep was physically impossible for a start. Then it hits you, the incredible thing about this film. It is increasingly the norm that computer generated images will embellish a film, but here the opposite in the case. Almost every scene is CGI, with the actors shooting their pieces against blue background for insertion in the technical suite. The result? Something very cool and very, very brave.I remember when I watched this on special screen when it was still in the theatres, I was completely blown away by it that I ended up buying the one disc edition when it came out on DVD. It's already gone down alot in the stores, I know it's been out since 2004 but I was surprised how good a film this is could go down in price. The technical achievement of this film is amazing, but then it does have a few flaws which I will explain later.

So what's the story about? Well, Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) is your archetypal newspaper hack who cops a good scoop about all of the world's top scientists going missing. A bit of honest investigative journalism points to a mysterous megalomaniac called Dr. Totenkopf - played by the late Laurence Olivier through a manipulation of archive footage. Before you can say 'hold the front page' giant robots of all descriptions start looting the city leading Polly to team up with old beau and all round aviation hero Jo 'Sky Captain' Sullivan (Jude Law). They used to go out with each other until something about Polly sabotarging his plane lead them to different lives until now in which they risk their lives together as they travel to exotic places around the world, can the fearless duo stop the evil doctor and his plan to destroy the earth? Doesn't the same thing happen in all action movies these days? Aided by Franky Cook (Angelina Jolie who isn't in this long at all and only one action sequence), commander of an amphibious squadron that flies in the sky which is an airforce for jets, Polly and Sky Captain well be the planet's only hope. To make things worse, Sky Captains assistant and friend got kidnapped by one of the robots which they are in search to get him back as well. There is a twist at the end, isn't a very good one or the most action packed, if you don't want to read it then look at the next paragraph NOW. Turns out the evil doctor is no more than a computer generated image which sends out a female assassin that Law and Paltrow run into through the film that turns out to be a robot made by the real doctor. The plan for world domination is to sent a shuttle to outerspace holding animals of different species and then to destroy earth so these animals can mate and start the race for the animals again. Hence the subtitle The World Of Tomorrow.

The flaws that the CGI effects have is that the outline of the actors and actress' in this often look blurry as if their lines have been brushed to make them look like their fitting in. But then also so does the environments at time look blurry. Some special visual effects do not look real at all but luckly we don't experience this through the whole movie. There are more than only some parts but nothing that will ruin the movie for you. Besides that the director Kerry Conran and the crew have a great and vivid imagination of alot of the villains used in this and shows this is a alternative look of the past in a fantasy makeover. We have all different kinds of robots we experience through different action sequences that come on evenly spaced out with some great chase scenes. Like when flying robots attack Sky Captains base and he and Polly must chase one of the robots that have the program that they can track it back to its makers hideout by chasing it by plane through the streets of New York City. Another one is when the plane goes underwater dodging explosions from submarines, thats part of the attack on Jolie's aircraft carrier. Harking back to a golden age of cinema, of monolithic screen-heroes and non-politicised bad guys, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow still appears fresh and original in the face of a glut of Hollywood remakes.

Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow do a very good job in this as the bickering couple thats supposed to 'hate' each other so much but yet have to work side by side to get through this alove. I didn't take very kindly to Angelina Jolie's acting so much as it just reminded me of her Lara Croft acting once again which I hated! The only film I have seen her in that is good was Mr. & Mrs. Smith. However, the storyline may not be as good as the special visual effects but then at least you have that as awesome, not mentioning the flaws through it, that you will have to watch this at least one point of your life. If you're not a great fan of effects and more for the story then you would probably give this film a two or even a one star if you're a serious critic. But then this is ideal for children and teenagers alike as the violence, swearing and sex references is kept to a minimum that this film has a Parental Guidance certificate slapped all over it. I know effects don't make a great film, but I haven't seen anything like this before! The ending may be a huge letdown for how good the action was all the way through that they could of done better but it still has alot of the action throughout to make up for it and also some funny dialogue. The environments that out two heroes go through is facinating to watch as well. I would say rent this if you're not sure you would like this, even though I will guarantee you will, and buy this if you know you love special effects. This would be one to place in your FX pile.

HELLBOY ***** (BRILLIANT)

Based on Mike Mignola's popular Dark Horse Comics series of the same name, Hellboy is a supernatural action adventure, adapted for the big-screen by visonary writer/director Guillermo del Toro who made the film Blade 2. I will have to say that out of the Blade trilogy I would say the second outing is my favourite. Simply because it is in the same sort of style of mixing violence and action well but also has a dark grittier look towards it in which in my opinion has more of a sadistic theme towards it that make it suspenseful and heart-pounding at the same time. I loved Hellboy right from the spectacular opening sequence and was hooked on it throughout the films running time. I watched this on special screen when it was out in the theatres, and now I have bought it on ex-rental from a rental store near my town so I could relive some of the scenes I loved in this film. Guillermo del Toro is a very good director in my eyes and I can't wait to see more of his work in the future.

Born in the flames of hell as a baby demon, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) was transported to Earth through a portal that the Nazi's had opened during the Second World War in an attempt to gain an advantage over the enemy. Rescued by American forces and looked after by the benevolent Dr. Broom (John Hurt), Hellboy was raised for the cause of good. The opening sequence showing all of this happened is brilliant with some very impressive special visual effects that shocked me in some parts of how fast paced and stylish it looked. The American soldiers were afraid of this little unconvincing cgi devil but Dr. Broom promised he will look after it in a secret Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defence. Loads of years down the line, Hellboy has created an unlikely trio of mutant heroes which doesn't really explain how the other two got their special gifts. First is a telepathic 'Mer-Man' Abe Sapien (Doug Jones) who looks like a mutant half human and half fish. He can't breath out from water unless he is wearing a devise that has water going around his neck. The other person is the fire controlling Liz Sherman (Selma Blair), the woman who Daredevil loves but has never confronted her about it. Hellboy and Mer-Man work together to protect society from evil. Hellboy is the one who does the physical part of the work and Mer-Man doing the intellectual part. But now, the mastermind that brought forth the portal that got Hellboy where he is in the first place has been resurrected from two villains we see in the opening sequence. He was sucked into the portal before it was closed down by the Americans, until now which he roams the earth again. His two helpers is a feeble woman who doesn't do much through the whole film rather than stand by his side, and my favourite bad guy in this movie; a human robotic nazi that has a skill with the blades sticking out from his arms which in style slices and dices his victims. These three villains seek to reclaim Hellboy to the dark side and use his powers to destroy mankind.

The acting is pretty good for an action movie, but I have to say that Ron Pearlman pulls it off being Hellboy nicely. The makeup effects are just perfect for him and even though I haven't read the Comics, I would say that noone could outcast Pearlman for this role and do a better job. His acting just comes so naturally as if he was born to play this role! What's great is that he can be funny when he wants to be, and all he has to do is do it with a serious expression that's almost priceless. His voice sounds superb! The characters in this are very interesting especially Mer-Man.

The action sequences are amazing, surprisingly alot better for a film like this and does a better job than what a top-notch Blockbuster would. They bring back animatronics for the first time in ages for some of the monsters using swifty camera work to make them look real. Longshots will then have CGI monsters that all goes together perfectly not bringing any flaws to mind. The special visual effects is dazzling, and even though the action scenes are evenly spread out we're treated to some over-the-top yet breathtaking eye candy that will make Spiderman look like his powers doesn't mean anything to what Hellboy is capable of doing. There are a few favourite action scenes that I liked in this but I won't spoil it for you unless im saying that you will not be disapointed.

The storyline does have some faults within it. Like how did some of the characters from the good side and the bad side get the way they are with their special abilities. How was the portal opened? Who made the portal? There are just too many questions that leaves so many loop holes in this film to piece together. So why did I give it a five star? I think it's because of how entertaining it was all the way through. This is definitely some popcorn fun that teenagers and children will love as it is dark, gritty and surprisingly violent for the certificate it has. Don't worry, it's far from being creepy or scary unless you don't like horrible faces then you might want to look away when that evil robotic nazi takes his armor off to see what is behind it. I will say it is quite disgusting, squiritng ooze from the monsters after Hellboy has defeated them. This is a great film that you can enjoy over and over without getting bored of it. That is why I say it's so damn good. yes, the storyline and other elements may not benefit out of this but the action, set pieces, characters and special visual effects will completely blow you away. Buy this if you love you're superhero movies, and also if you love action flicks. Yes, it is very surreal but then it's copying a comic book! I don't think this is the sort of film girls will like, this is more for the guys. Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow is more up couples street. But for being a typical guy, this is the sort of film for you. If you want a more decent storyline that doesn't rely evenly on special effects then maybe something like Spiderman 2 would be more your sort of film.

ALFIE *** (GOOD)

Jude Law is one of the most coolest actors to revive the classic character of Alfie, first played by Brit legend Michael Caine in the 1966 original. But while the plot loosely follows the first film, this version of Alfie is more of an update than a remake. I feel as if I could relate to this film in a few ways that reminded me of the other great film Jude Law was in titled Closer that basically had the same storyline except it was happening to more than one person through the film except for his lonesome character Alfie in this flick. He is a womanizer, and it shows that it may be all fun and games for a while, but soon things go downhill which it shows in this. I too used to be a womanizer and I can agree with the messages they try to give in this film as Alfie finds out the hard way of trying to act the playboy. It will open some clocks upstairs in some peoples brain if they know anyway what happens if you don't play safe. I can honestly say that I have cheated behind some of my ex-girlfriends backs and im sure many of you can say the same as well. Well, if you are still cheating then this film will bring up issues of how they find out that Alfie is cheating on them that it will make you sweat thinking that could happen in real, or whatsmore: to you! That is why I think this is a good film to watch, as it will stretch the way you think about women.

Set in New York, Alfie is a limousine driver and the coolest cat in town. To coin a phrase, men want to be him and women want to be with him. In fact his sex appeal is so strong that they are literally throwing themselves at him. Well, what's a man to do?! But as Alfie keeps asking, what's it all about? There must be more to life than just a meaningless litany of beautiful women. But the only woman he has ever been emotionally close to, Julie (Marisa Tomei), is kept at bay by his childish, emotionally stunted personality. Finally, after a near ruinous relationship with manic-depressive Nikki (Sienna Miller) and humiliating abuse from wealthy society lady Liz (Susan Sarandon), Alfie finds himself disillusioned amd confused, revisiting old conquests like a drowning man desperately clawing for a life raft. Will he figure out in time that he is ready to commit to the woman he loves? Like I said earlier, there are a few messages in this film that will shock us. If you don't want to read what they are then skip to the next paragraph NOW. Alfie has sex with his best friends girlfriend only to find out that she is pregnant with his baby, and that she is going to keep it with her boyfriend aka Alfies best friend. Alfie manages to get sex with girls when he is working as the limousine driver, comforting them as they moan about their sexual lives with their husbands. A girl he has sex with in the beginning of the film, leaves her underwear which his girlfriend that he sees late in night, the one with a son, discovers and automatically finishes him. When Alfie realizes what he wants in life he finds that it is too late to change the past to make everything right again. His ex-girlfriends have moved on, and now so must he.

Directed by Charles Shyer, I don't think I have heard many people talk about this Alfie remake as much, maybe it wasn't a popular movie when it was in the theatres. I read a review for it once then said how bad it is, but that would just be going too over the top or it's just the fact that the reviewer can't agree to true-to-life messages the film is dishing out about relationships. I would say Alfie is a comedy drama, more on the drama side though. Some of it's filming methods does make it look funny, as when Alfie is narrating we see him on the screen looking at the camera, at us, while he speaks. This have been done plenty of times already but the method never gets old and still works. It's funny when he is having sex in the back of his limousine with a girl on top of, and then his head turns to the camera talking to us about this girl while she carries on going for it!

I tried watching this once in a cinema with a friend, but I had to leave about ten minutes within it so I rented it out about half a year ago with one of my ex-girlfriends on rent. It is a good film, alot of true points that we can nod to and also has some good jokes. I don't think this is a couply film, unless you want to watch a film about cheating! Also some people may take offense to the theme, but if you can mature over all of this then you have got a good film to watch. More funnier than Closer but doesn't have as much emotion and meaning. Still, a good rental never the less.

SHARK TALE ** (NOT BAD)

With Shrek 2 breaking box-office records, another hit for Dreamworks would be like icing on the cake. But, I just don't know where they wen't wrong with this film. I didn't like this that much at all and has got some competition with Disney's take on the underwater adventure with Finding Nemo that is again not original but was at least had some imagination put into it and had some form of entertainment. I'm not saying that Shark Tale is boring, but it's just not the same standards of other computer animated features these days. It is a light-hearted take on the gangster genre and a whole host of voices and characters that are instantly recognisable but not eminently lovable. In fact, I would say you would forget the characters in this one including most of the stuff that goes on through the feature.

It's a shark-eat-everything aquatic world and things are 'cushdie' as long as all the other fish play by their rules. It puts a different spin on 'swimming with the fishes' but these gangster boys run every racket in town and woe betide any fool that gets in the way. Boss of the family is Lino (who else but Robert DeNiro),a great white and master of the reef. He has big plans for his two sons. Lenny (Jack Black) and Frankie (Michael Imperioli). The trouble is Lenny's just too much of a nice guy. He's the shame of 'the family' (that's the mob family) and needs toughering up, but he just wants to be left alone. Meanwhile, Oscar (Will Smith) is a smooth-talking brother, but he can't get any respect! He's bottom of the food chain and craves a bit of power. This changes when the accidental death of a shark leads some to believe that he did it, dubbing him with nickname 'Sharkslayer'. Lenny is sent to sort him out, but they start having an unlikely friendship and come up with a great way for Oscar to build the myth and Lenny to disappear for a while. Oscar pretends to kill Lenny. Now Oscar is a hero. Showered with fame, riches and glory he has everything he wanted... Except the love of his childhood sweetheart Angie (Renee Zellweger) who turns away from his fake personality. Finding himself the bandwagon, with everybody jumping on board, how long can it be until he feels the wrath of the mob. Will Oscar have the courage to come clean and live his real life and will Lenny stand up to 'the family' and make them accept who he really is?

The director, Vicky Jenson, tries to make this as funny as Shrek by adding in some cool tracks and movie jokes but it just doesn't cut it unfortunately. This will be perfect for the children but the adults won't enjoy it as much. I know there isn't such thing as the word original anymore but I just can't help but compare different parts of the story to other children films that have been done before. Like the live action motion picture Dragonheart that pretty much a dragon and a human makes a friendship and perform a scam to locals in villages that their fighting each other, and the dragon to pretend to die so the human can get money as bounty award. I would like to watch this again since it has been a while since I last watched it and my opinions may change, but it wouldn't by much. I recomend you rent this one out.

FINDING NEVERLAND *** (GOOD)

From Marc Forster, whose directed the critically acclaimed Monster's Ball assisted Halle berry in gaining her Oscar, comes Finding Neverland. Many Peter Pan stories have been done in recent memory - Dustin Hoffman has now starred in two himself starring as Captain James Hook alongside Robin Williams as Peterpan in the early 90s blockbuster Hook. This take of Dustin Hoffman is an interesting aside from the rest. Aimed at a more mature audience, it is a great and poignant story that will stay with you for a while after watching. I remember crying near to the end of the film and have talked to one of my friends, a huge critic when it comes to movies, saying he too cried in this and that this was a brilliant movie. The only reason im giving it a three star is because there are some slow paces that had my eyes wandering elsewhere. I was wondering why a famous actor like Johnny Depp would want to star in this, but after watching it I found out the reason why he did.

Set in 1904 it depics the life of J.M. Barrie, the famous scottish playwright who went on to pen one of the most poignant stories of all time, Peter Pan. Johnny Depp stars as the writer himself, who becomes entranced by Mrs. Sylvia Llewellyn Davies (Kate Winslet) and her four sons. He learns that she has been deserted by her husband and is bringing up the boys on her own. Far worse however is that she is actually terminally ill, and is desperately worried about the well-being on the boys once she has passed away. When Sylvia dies, Barrie becomes a surrogate father for George, Jack, Michael and Peter and becomes inspired to write. The story is set in a place where the children never have to grow up; where there is no pain or death, merely fun all the time. And so came about Peter Pan also known as The Boy Who Would Not Grow Up. Barrie was eager to put his story onto the West End stage and this he did with the help of his financial backer and friend, the Broadway producer Charles Frohman (Dustin Hoffman). The play premiered at the Duke of York's Theatre with a female taking the role as Peter the boy who could fly; and from that moment on this story of magic and fantasy, created by Barrie, continues to live on in many hearts today. If you think that I have just revealed the whole story then you're right. But then that is how the premise should of been told since if I only explained a tiny bit then it wouldn't of sounded interesting at all. There are loads of reasons why you should watch this film. The dream sequences of the boys pretending to fly are very well done including other dream sequences boasting of some good visual trickery. But we don't see much of that at all. Then one of the boys is acting older than he is saying make believe is immature and that Barrie should grow up.

This film is great for the whole family to enjoy. Don't think it will be suitable for young children, as even though it's got a parental guidance certificate it is still made for a more mature audience and that the young ones will get bored of this very easily. It may not be good for a few teenagers over the world as it is a drama. If you love to watch a film with heart and emotion, and have a good cry, then this is definitely the film you need to watch. I cried seeing the character who is played by Kate Winslet dying, and also the dialogue was didn't help either as it was very touching indeed. It's good to watch a sad film every now and again, and this should be one of them. The acting is perfect even from the four boys which I believe one of them then went on to be in Tim Burton's remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It does have some funny moments, but don't expect much of it at all.

I definitely wouldn't buy this film as it would be a waste of money. The reason being, like many other films I have reviewed, is that there is too much talking involved and would be one of those films that I would get bored without a doubt watching it again. Maybe I will in the future after a few years to make sure I have forgotten most of it but nothing I would go out of my way for. But make sure you rent it out as the first time will be the gem that will make you say this film is good. But introduce it to the rest of your family as well, im sure they would appreciate it.

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS * (TERRIBLE)

Out of all the horror trailers I have seen I would say that When A Stranger Calls is the most least film I wanted to watch but felt that I should in case it is better than what the trailler makes it out to be. With a premise that sounds like it's only going to be a twenty minute film that has endlessly been imitated and parodied Scream in equel measures, 1979's cut horror has a notoriously nasty first act that became an urban legend. I remember hearing the story when I was young and it always used to scare me, but apparently it came from the original film of this, don't know that for sure though. I guess that's why I went to watch it in the end since the storyline involves that urban legend, but then that story is only told for about three minutes so I was wondering how they could possibly turn a classic story into a full-length motion picture. I watched this with my girlfriend in the theatres on my birthday, after it finished we looked at each other and said how crap it was.

Jill Johnson (Camilla Belle) is your average girl. Having gone over her mobile phone limit by 800 minutes, Jill has to pay it by babysitting. Sent to look after two sick children in an ultra-modern three-story house in the middle-of-nowhere, the high school student is terrorized by a raspy-voiced stranger (played by Tommy Flanagan, voiced by Lance Henriksen). The knowing stalker repeatedly asks her: "have you checked the children lately?" Jill calls the police. A guy traces the line and inform the terrified teen the calls are coming from... inside the house. Can Jill and the children escape the house or be rescued from the mysterous menace, whose motives are unknown, before it's too late? If you don't want to read what happens at the end of the film then read the next paragraph NOW. The ending is pathetic. We only just manage seeing the mysterous killer in the last fifteen minutes of the movie stalking Jill and the children. It's the only last five minutes that we manage to get a good look at his face when he is captured by the police and is taken away in the police car. That is supposed to be a scary moment as the camera is the perspective of Jills eyes as the killer is looking a her from the back seat of the car as it's driving away. It's not scary at all. I suppose the director wanted to express that there doesn't always have to be a motivation behind a person for being a killer, which is kind of a scary message to send across, and true to reallife murder cases, but it doesn't get us shocked when we actually see his face. Then there is the whole dream sequence when Jill is in the hospital when she gets attacked by the killer only to wake up screaming, waving her arms in the air as the doctors and nurses try to calm her down. Friday the 13th dream sequence anyone? Also in the house, there isn't much of a chase between Jill with the children and the killer until he gets stabbed in the hand with a fire hooker by Jill and then scarred from the fire place exploding which is the only 'suspense' scene in the whole film! Then when Jill and the children run out of the house is when the police arrive.

I couldn't believe that Simon West (director of the unspeakable brilliant Con Air) was in the chair for this deeply disapointing psychological horror film that takes away all the horror and tension just to give us some cheap jumps that will only work on people who haven't watched many horror films to know that the whole film is predictable. I mean, we only get to see the killer (well, the outline of him anyway as his identity is still hidden by shaddows) for only fifteen minutes at the end stalking Jill and the children. Before then Jill hears noises that turns out to be motion-triggered lights and automatic icemakers that is too overly used in this that in the end we realize that it isn't teasing us anymore, it's just taking the piss! The acting is quite pathetic as well, Camilla Belle (The Ballad of Jack and Rose) might be a good actress but is pretty much playing a stupid girl in this one which is impossile to like her at all.

Don't waste your time watching this in the theatres or even renting this out. Whatever you do don't buy this on DVD when it comes out! A complete waste of money otherwise. Horror fans will definitely be disapointed. Those who don't normally like horror films might find this as an exceptional one that you may like only because it has some good cheap scares and less violence, suspense and language that shouldn’t of been the age certificate that it is. Those who love their horror films will definitely want to avoid this mess.

You rated "Final Destination 3" better than "Finding Neverland", "Brokeback Mountain", "Jarhead", and "Sky Captain"?

Wow, I guess I better be seeing this.