The Fantastic Four, Not A Review, A Warning
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By Echud123456
Rating: 0/10
Ah the fantastic four, what can be said about The Fantastic Four that hasn’t already been said about almost every other super-hero movie (excusing the newest Batman film whatever its called), it’s a one and a half hour waste of time that can, only in the loosest since of the word, be called a movie, a virtual what’s what and who’s who of filthy, purial, under dramatized pabulum. The dialogue is stilted at best and the actors drone on through all of it, 90 percent of it being ’wow I have super powers! Cool!!’ oriented in some way anyway it feels more like watching yourself get drunk and try using super hero inspired pick up lines on another even more sloshed, but still unfortunate, patron of your local bar than it does a film. It does however function quite well as a comedy as, even the most important scenes in the movie, which there are few of, are completely underplayed. I Could drone on for another few paragraphs about how this movie is possibly the worst movie ever made or I could save us both some time that could be spent watching a GOOD movie and finish this review with four, short, precautionary words, DON’T SEE THIS MOVIE.
V For Vendetta
V For Vendetta: 9.5/10
-By Echud123456
This Is One Of Those Movies Which You Either Love Or Hate, As You Can See By My Rating Of It, I Loved This Movie. In My Opinion It Is The Best Movie Out In 2006 By A Long Shot. The Movie Opens Cold, With The Reciting Of The Classic British Nursery Rhyme, 'Remember, Remember The 5th Of November'. As The Rhyme Reaches It's End, The Story Of Guy Fawkes Is Laid Out In Quick, Effective Cuts Untill He Is Ultimately Hung, Which Is In Fact Inaccurate, He Was Hung, Drawn And Quartered, However I Think That The MPAA Would Have Some Reservations About Showing That.
The Movie Than Progresses A Couple Hundread Years To The Near Future Were We See Supreme Chancellor Of England Lewis Prothero Giving A Spirted Speech Detailing His Desire To See A Revenge Inacted On America, Which Has Fallen To A Deadly Virus, Several Hundread Years To Late 🙂. In The Foreground We See Reported Evey Hammond About To Break Curfew To See Someone Refered Only To As Uncle. As She Makes Her Way To "Uncle's" House We See A Beautifully Shot Backstreet Montage Of 2065 (Ish) London, Which Is Reminesent Of One Might See Had One Followed Guy Fwkes Around In 1605 And Yet Frighteningly Realistic Signs Of The Time Can Be Seen Suddelly Strewn Throughout. As She Ducks In To A Thin Back Alley She Is Intercepted By Two "Fingermen" (Facist Police) Who Then Proceed To Intemidate And Attempt Rape Her When V Intervenes!
Theres A Definate Feeling Of Almost An Swash-Buckeling Vibe Coursing Through The Air As Fawke- I Mean V Proceeds To Foil The Nefarious Bunch. As The Move Moves On It Becomes Clear How Good An Actor Hugo Weaving Is. Even From Behind The Masking It Seems To Me Like V Was Exeptionally Acted As Is All Of The Cast. I Wasn't Dissapointed With A Single Performance. The Story Is Riveting And Stays Down To Earth Without Getting To Speilburg On The Futuristic Side. The Large, Wide Shots Of London Are A Treat As Are The Small, Chlostorfobic Intervals Between Battles If You Will, Which Show Tiny Bits Of Everyday Life In 2065 (Ish) XD. Lastly, The Dialogue Is Smart, And The Music Is Perfect For The Movie. An Ecclectic Mix Of Zorro And Robin Hood Come To Mind . The Movie Is Expertly Shot, Scored, Written And Directed And Is A Treat To See In The Theater.
Im Gonna Get Shit For This BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE!! XD
Scary Movie IV 3/10
-By Echud123456
One Of The Most Hotly Debated Movies On This Forum Has Been The Fourth Installment Of The Scary Movie Franchise, So I'm Going To Be As PC As Possible (And Will Of Course Be Capitalizing Every Letter Of Every Word Lol XD). The First Five Minutes Of The Film Is The Trademark Scary Movie Opening Spoof, Which Is This Time, A Spoof Of The Movie Saw Involving Dr. Phil, And Shaquille O'Neil. Just As They Do On TV They Proceed To Butcher Every Line Written For Them, Which Seems A Fit With The Jokes Which Are Terrible Head Hits And Cussing (PG-13 Style). After Several Of The Afore Mentioned Head Hits Phil Cuts His Leg Off But What Do You Know? Wrong Leg. Darn Oh Well He Doesn't Seem To Mind Because He Just Says "Mother -" And Flops Back On To The Ground (More Of That PG-13 Cussing) Which Is Where The Spoof Ends. The Rest Of The Movie Is A Fragmented Collection Of Spoofs With Terribly Written Dialogue, Horribly Done Visual Effects And Potty Humor Which Is Neither Clean Enough For Kids Nor Funny Enough For Adults. Excluding A Few Parts (Which Are Very Far And Few Between) The Movie Was Full Of Dry Unfunny Crap. To Be Fair There Were Some Good Things About The Movie, At Only 83 Minutes, It Was Short, Dane Cook Played Jigsaw Who Was Meticulously Close To The Original, And Of Course Leslie Nielsen Was Hilarious Except He's Nude Fair Warning. These Facts Stop The Movie From Being A Complete Waste Of Three Bucks But Bottom Line Scary Movie Four Is A Dud At Best.
X-Men: The Last Stand
I recently saw this installment over the weekend and I must say, I was disappointed. I had far more complaints than I thought I would. When you walk out of a theater with more things that you didn't like as opposed to what you did like, you know there's something wrong. Here's what I didn't like:
Spoiler:
Phoenix. She was completely and utterly different from the comics, (I understand it would be hard to pull off the whole cosmic thing, but they could have done a lot better).Secondly, I didn't like how Magneto, Rogue, and Mystique all lost their powers. It hinted at Magneto having them back or at least starting to get them back at the end of the film, but I just really didn't like the fact that they tampered with so many characters. Cyclops died, which I didn't really like. Some of the most interesting parts of the Phoenix arcs in the comics is the interaction she shares with Scott. All she did was kiss him and then kill him immediately. Lame. I didn't like the fact that Xavier died... If you stay after the credits, you will see that his consciousness lived on and was transported to a different body, but come on, you don't need to kill off 2 main characters to impress an audience.
The scenes with Storm seemed a little forced at times. Halle Berry stated prior to the film that she wanted Storm to have a larger role, otherwise she would quit. This was pretty evident to me when I watched the film. It seemed like the movie revolved around Wolverine and Storm... not the X-Men. Besides the movie not staying true AT ALL to the comics, there is one more major thing I disliked. They shouldn't have tried to have 2 plots in the movie. They should have either focused on either the Phoenix story or the Cure story. One would have been better, if done correctly and in a good enough depth.
This movie had some good action and it was not a bad film. But... it just wasn't all that great. I think this is partly because of the fact that Bryan Singer didn't direct this one. He seemed to know what he wanted to do with the story/characters and he pulled it off really well. X2 is by far my favorite of the series, followed by X-Men, and then The Last Stand. It seemed as though they tried to cram way too many things into this film without proper coordination and planning.
If you haven't seen the film, and want to, then by all means, go for it. Just don't expect a whole lot, like I did.
I give it a 7/10.
MirrorMask
Well I don't know how many people will have seen this movie, so I will try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. And this is my first review, so be kind. 😛
The story revolves around a girl named Helena who's parents run a circus that she helps out in every night. She's feeling a lot of teenage angst, and paradoxically wants to run away from the circus, which I thought was a nice little twist and a nod to the cliche of teenage troubles.
Helena's mother gets very sick, which Helena struggles to deal with so she travels into a dream world to escape the troubles in her life. Once inside, she stumbles upon a quest to find the charm that will wake the Queen of Light. There are very obvious parallels, showing how events earlier in the film influence the dream world, including the black and white socks, the argument with her mother as well as foreshadowing her meeting with 'Valentine' {her companion in the dream} whom she later meets after waking up.
This world is full of weird and wonderful creatures, and is visually one of the most stunning and unique pieces of cinema I've ever seen. It looks almost like a cinematic representation of a cover of The Sandman graphic novels {no surprises there, considering who the director and scriptwriter are 😛 }, it's utterly beautiful and wonderfully bizarre, it's worth watching just for the visual impact.
Interesting characters, amazing costumes, animation and storyline all weave together nicely, though it would have been nice if the depth and power given to the landscape would have translated a little more to the plot as that felt a little flat.
The acting is very good as well, especially the lead actress, Stephanie Leonidas, who really conveys the sense of a girl trying to deal with the world around her, especially struggling with the idea that she could lost her mother as well as the guilt and inner turmoil she feels. Her quest in the dream land runs parallel to a passage of rites into young adulthood, and that is reflected through the passage of her 'darker' side in the supposed real world.
The penultimate scenes are very interesting and very well played out, resulting in a nice ending, though the film might have been improved by a slightly darker finish.
Overall, it is a visual stunning and imaginative movie that carries an simple but effective and moving story at the heart of it. Definitely see it if you like quirky, experimental movies and fantastic visuals.
8/10
😊 Okay, my rambling is over now. 😛
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN *** (GOOD)
I think this is the type of film that some people will class you gay if you enjoyed this film. A film by Ang Lee who have given us the innovative and beautiful Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and the first art house-type comic blockbuster Hulk. All of his projects contain depth with the characters and gets more involving with the storyline not giving it a dull moment at any time. His new feature Brokeback Mountain was controversial when it came out in the theatres back in January 2006 all because of the graphical relationship between two men. I watched it with my friend, I didn't expect much from it but it turned out the opposite to what we both were expecting - I enjoyed it and my friend didn't in this critically acclaimed Western.
The plot focuses on a ranch-hand and a rodeo-cowboy who meet in the summer of 1963 as they work together for a man by keeping an eye on all of his sheep from intruders and predators on Brokeback mountain. The partners, who are played by two great actors; Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, fall for each other and endure a complex relationship through the whole summer until their job is over and they can go back to where they came from. Ennis and Jack then lead different lifes in the prejudiced society of early-sixty America. They form relationships with women and settle down to having a family. That is until Jack meets up with Ennis after a few years which they express to each other how their love for each other has not died.
The film is again beautiful to watch which is thrown into the traditional method pile of DVD's that Ang Lee has directed. It can get slow at times, but then I feel that it's because Ang Lee trying to get the same art house-form with the photography to keep up his reputation rather than concentrate on the dialogue as much. There is a twist at the end which if you don't want to know then skip this paragraph NOW! It turns out in the end that Jack gets killed in a accident with his car that leads into a emotional climax for both the audience and Ennis.
The acting is as amazing as we can expect from our two mainstream guys. Heath Ledger looks different now he has shaved his facial hair completely, and that he is skinnier than what we have seen him in his other flicks - Knight's Tale and 10 Thing's I Hate About You. Jake Gyllenhaal looks much older than what we have seen him in over the last few years - Donnie Darko, Bubbleboy and The Day After Tomorrow. It follows their lifes right to their old age which is lead into some great make-up effects.
This is the sort of film that I could only watch once, not something I would go out and buy. All because it is not amazing as what some critics make it out to be, and because I think I will get bored watching it the second time. Still a good film to watch if you can be mature with the theme, otherwise this should be the film this year that you should avoid.
BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2 **** (RECOMENDED)
I didn't like the original film of Big Momma's House. I think it's because I could of thought of ideas that would have been alot funnier for the plot. People would refer this to Mrs. Doubtfire, but I would say it resembles more to The White Chicks - even though that film came out a few years after Big Momma's House. It starred Martin Lawrence (National Security & Bad Boys) who goes undercover as a seventy-year-old afican-american woman in "Big Momma's" house when she is leaves her house to visit a sick friend. Martin puts on the body suit, face mask and wig and pretends to be her, living in her house for her daughter and grandson to come as their suspects to a bank robbery that was done by her daughters ex-boyfriend. However, Martin falls in love with the daughter which starts to make him think that she wasn't involved in the bank robbery and must protect her and her son from her ex-boyfriend that is trying to get to her. That pretty much sums up what went on in the original, but I will say that the sequel shocked me on how good it is. The first ten to fifteen minutes was terrible making it look like it was going to be more for children rather than the teenage humour of the original. The jokes just weren't funny at all until when it started to kick in when Martin goes back undercover as Big Momma once again but in a different plot. I thought some parts were hysterical and had me laughing away for the first time to a film this year.
To stop a national security distaster, the loudmouthed Big Momma who is not afraid to throw her ample weight around, becomes a nanny housekeeper in the suspect's household. The only trouble is Martin retired as a undercover cop for ages since the girl he fell in love with in the original are now a married couple, and that she is pregnant. But I guess he just wants to have excitment in this life like the 'good old days'. So he makes an excuse to her saying he has gone to a convention for a few days, but soon she starts wondering when she sees lady clothes appearing in the house and especially when she finds out he didn't go to a convention. To make matters worse, the interview day of when the woman of the house was to decide who should be the nanny to her children, one of the nannys was also undercover and when Martin got the job, her and the people who she work for has got suspicion on who this Big Momma is. Also things get complicated when the agent finds him/herself becoming attached to the three children of the dysfunctional family when he has to investigate the man of the household for criminal activities. A spoiler for the ending will now be mentioned so if you don't want to read it then go to the next paragraph NOW. Only the father of the family finds out that Big Momma is a undercover agent, in which Martin also finds out that the father is the creator of a fatal computer "worm" that would allow forces access to government intelligence files and thats why Martin must protect the family from people wanting to get their hands on it. But Martin is gonna give the creator (father of the family) a second chance in life by letting him go back to his family and become a better father than what he was before.
Directed by See Spot Run John Whitesell, this funny sequel will definitely repeat and so a hell lot more storming success of the original film. I would say this is alot more slapstick compared to the original which even though has alot of funny moments for adults it is also on for the children as well. Expect alot more action than what we were supplied with in the original including one hilarious chase scene when Big Momma is after a suspect. Also look out for a Baywatch sketch when Big Momma is running in slow motion down the beach with her hair in dreadlocks as she twirls in around in the air. Martin Lawrence has always been a funny man to me that makes me laugh just when he has a serious expression on him, but Big Momma's house 2 lets him move onto the next step of giving us laughs.
Be warned, there are still some cringy parts when Big Momma is coaxed to teach children dancing moves for the upcoming cheerleading dance, which pretty much makes the young girls look like sluts the way they move their bum to the beat. Some parts can just be corny as hell, also as I have already mentioned the opening is pathetic making it look like it's going to be like that for the rest of the film. Which in some cases it does, but mostly we're treated to some non-intelligent jokes of slapstick caper. I will buy this DVD but only for a small price as it surely isn't worth as much as it is in the stores right now. Definitely something to watch if you're stuck for choice and are in the mood for a good laugh. Even if you haven't seen the original, you will understand this from beginning to end as there is a different storyline with a different cast. Unless you want to know how he was influenced on becoming Big Momma. Watch this little comedy.
CHICKEN LITTLE *** (GOOD)
Could the little chicken save Disney? That was the question flapping around the film fan's brains after the departure of the incredible Pixar team from the world of Walt. I don't know what everyone else has to say about this but I will admit that I enjoyed this little flick, maybe not as much as what Pixar did for Finding Nemo and The Incredibles but it was entertaining in it's own way. I just couldn't believe how short the feature was, they don't normally do that with computer animated films these days but Chicken Little seemed to come and go which I think will be perfect for those low attention span children that just want something quickly to watch. I have enjoyed a few computer animated films right back when Disney's Toy Story set the method off.
Chicken Little causes widespread panic when he mistakes a falling acorn for a piece of falling sky. When the rest of the animal characters in his small home town find out that he's mistaken and make him a laughingstock for his behaviour of ringing the town bell, the young chicken is determined to restore his reputation especially to his father that is now really disapointed in him. Just as things are starting to go his way when he wins the schools baseball game against another competing schools he finds a real piece of the sky that fell into his bedroom. This is part of the plot that reveals Chicken's town is being invaded by outer-space aliens and the little chicken, who no one believes, is left to try and save the town with his band of misfit friends; Abby Mallard (aka The Ugly Duckling that is in love with Chicken Little), Runt Of The Litter and Fish Out Of Water (my favourite character of this feature). There is nothing really much for me to say about this film, maybe another few lines will sum up the whole of it. But then that would just be spoiling the experience for you as, like I said earlier, this feature doesn't go on for that long.
In a retelling of a 1943 comedy, Chicken Little is littered with movie in-jokes, as cgi animation intend to do these days, including spoof such as Sci-Fi hits as Signs, Independence Day, with Scrubs star Zach Braff as Chicken Little and Joan Cussack as his best friend The Ugly Duckling. Added to this comic pairing of animation veterans Harry Shearer (The Simpsons) and Stuart Little's Steve Zahn as Runt, and the original Batman Adam West. Although the home of Mickey and Donald has now stopped making traditional 2-D animation and thrown all its eggs into the 3-D world of Toy Story and Finding Nemo, I would say Chicken Little is running out of fresh ideas and is a sample of how desperate creators can be these days to make a decent story and to throw in good jokes. I won't say the magic has ran out completely in this, but I wasn't involved as much as I was with the Incredibles and Monster's Inc. There are some funny parts, some being the keyword, and not enough laughs for adults and teenagers alike. It's all the traditional smacking faces and falling over stuff that little children will laugh at. Most of it is very cheesy that it will make you cringe, which is more ideal for children this time around. But then isn't that what it is meant to be?
Too short of a film to spend you're money on in the theatres and to waste on buying the DVD. I would say it would make a worthy rental but then make sure you have an offer on for it down in your local rent store. Computer animated fans will be disapointed, not by the graphics as it's just as amazing as ever, but by how silly the characters are in this one. It makes The Incredibles look serious! If your up for some brainless fun then maybe you could give this one a go. If you're worrying what your child should watch then I would definitely recomend this to them, but then they would have to be very young.
FINAL DESTINATION 3 ***** (BRILLIANT)
I remember the first time watching the original Final Destination in the theatres with my mother. We both didn't have a clue what was going to happen except of what the genre was. After the first fifteen minutes of it got me hooked and gave me some jumps as well as taking me to the edge of my seat. It is a teen slasher movie with a difference; instead of it being a murderer stalking the teenagers with a weapon and mask we get a taste of what Death would do. The bus scene, hanging in a bathroom are to name, they had more widely death scenes than you could poke a blood-stained stick at. Basically we follow a teenage boy that has a horrific vision of the plane he was on with his highscool class to a trip to Paris crashing killing everyone on it. He wakes up to find himself on the plane with the exact things happening before takeoff like it was in his dream. In panic he gets off the plane with few of his classmates and a teacher with him. As they stay in the lobbey calming the guy down the plane that took off without them crashed and burned killing everyone on it! Thus came forth Death, whom we can't see throughout but can tell his presence to known when the teenagers start dying in order that they would of died on the plane in gruesome 'accidents.' It was a smash hit in the theatres getting a good name by everyone, so obviously the sequel was spawned by a different director who in my eyes didn't do a good job. Yes, the death scenes were more gorier and inventive but I didn't like the twist that is supposed to make Death clever. So the director of the original, James Wong, comes back to take another stab at it with this third installment.
Set six years after the original, this supernatural thriller finds high school student Wendy Christensen (Mary Elizabeth Winstead from The Ring 2) having a fatal premonition of a disastrous roller-coaster accident that involves her and her friends. She warns everyone just like the main characters of the other two movies did after their premonitions that manages to get some people away. These 'lucky' friends of hers manage to get off before the roller-coaster sets off and crashes how she imagined. She teams up with schoolmate Kevin Fischer (Ryan Merriman) in a race against time to prevent death from revisiting the survivors of the accident. But will those who escaped succeed in cheating death or will the friends learn a lesson that you just can't keep the Grim Reaper at bay? And so brings forth the gory death scenes.
Alot of my friends said they loved this film and is way better than the first two put together. However the more serious critics reviewing this have said that it is just an excuse to give us more jumps and yucks. I agree with both of them. Yes, there is no proper storyline in this one and all we get is a death scene almost every five minutes in between not leaving more talking except the parts that Wendy and Kevin are trying to convince their ignoring friends that the Reaper is after them. But that doesn't mean the film isn't entertaining. The only twist in this, which if you don't want to read then go to the next paragraph NOW is; When Wendy took pictures of her friends at the funfair where the rollar-coaster was before the incident happened had clues on the photos of how their friends are going to do. Like one of them was under two knives, so immediately the two main characters thought that two knives would be killing him when it comes to his freak 'accident'.
I am terrified of rollar-coasters so I thought this was going to be a huge treat for me just like the plane did as I am terrified of heights, hence why rollar-coasters are a big no-no for me. Leading up to the accident was great but the special visual effects on it was a huge let down which made me doubt I was going to enjoy the rest of the film. It just didn't look real at all and was like watching a B-movie from the New Line Cinema company. Even the first death, which some I know enjoyed, didn't do it for me which also questioned if I was going to enjoy this. After that I gave up hope and just slumed back in my seat of the theatre. But then all of the sudden it started getting better, no, it started getting brilliant that brought back the shocks and laughs I had with the original. It's just a shame I had to wait over twenty minutes for it but it was sure enough worth it at the long run. This film is really gory which brings back the question that some people have been asking if it should of been giving the age certificate that it contained. The death scenes were over the top but that is what I have been waiting for, that is what Final Destination is known for and thats what we pay for.
I will definitely be buying the DVD when it comes out over here and will recomend this to all you slasher freaks out there! A one not to be missed except if you don't like horrors and have a weak stomach. Theres plenty of 'guess how the next person will die' scenarios and even though the dialogue can be cheesy the people dying will make up for that. If you're into more intelligent horror films then you would know that teen slashers are the opposite for that, and Final Destination 3 is no different. It's just brainless popcorn fun that I would say is perfect for a guys night in and also for couples that like a fast paced horror film in all its gory glory!