Our siblings help us lay down the base of our interpersonal skills
When you learn conflict-resolution skills in the playroom, you then practise them on the playground, and that in turn stays with you. If you have a combative sibling or a physically intimidating, older sibling, you learn a lot about how to deal with situations like that later in life. If you’re an older sibling and you have a younger sibling who needs mentoring or is afraid of the dark, you develop nurturing and empathic skills that you wouldn’t otherwise have.
Men with sisters are better at talking to girls
There’s a greater degree of sensitivity and listening skills in boys who grew up with sisters. Studies show that when you pair people up in 5- to 15-minute conversations, as if it were a speed date, the males who grew up with sisters tend to do better than the ones who grew up with brothers or as only children. Similarly, the females with brothers tend to do better with boys. This is because you learn a little bit about how to turn the tumblers of the opposite sex.
Oldest children do get an IQ and linguistic advantage
Older siblings get more total-immersion mentoring with their parents before younger siblings come along. As a result, they get an IQ and linguistic advantage because they are the exclusive focus of their parents’ attention. The idea of what businesses call “sunk costs” comes into play here, which means that by the time an older child is 2 or 3 years old, parents have sunk a great deal of time, physical resources and emotional energy into them. There’s a lot of parental focus on the older child, even if they’re not aware they’re doing it.
Middle children really do get the shaft in terms of parental attention
Middle children (and many second borns) tend to invest in greater ways in friendships outside the home and be much less connected to the family. Birth order research consistently shows that second and/or middle children generally are first to flee the family nest presumably as they seek their sense of belonging outside of the family. As well flexibility, which is a trademark of this cohort enables them to cope better away from the family home.
And youngest kids use different skills to get by
Youngest kids tend to develop a greater ability to use low-power strategies, like getting inside the minds of and charming other people, because they’re the smallest child in the house. When you can’t thump your older siblings to get what you need, you learn to disarm them by being funny, or you learn to have a better intuitive sense. The biggest advantage a youngest child gets that middle children do not is to eventually become an only child.”