The Battle Bar, Our Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

Originally posted by Stealth Moose
No, just with the Valar in the West. Unlike humans, dwarves, and hobbits. Gimli and Frodo are like the 0.0000000001% of their species to get a pass.

All Men enjoy the "Gift of Men", dying to join Eru Illuvitar in the afterlife.

Elves have to wait their ****ing turns.

LOLNOPE. In the books, Aragorn admits he cannot take down even a portion of the Nine and is afraid of them. Glorfindel pretty much wrecks their day. Elves > Humans.

And Gil-Galad was tossed aside like a cheap hooker while fighting Sauron, leaving the manly Elendil to beat Sauron down, and the heroic Isildur to cut Sauron's One Ring from his finger.

Why do you like boring Mary Sue races my son?

Originally posted by NemeBro
All Men enjoy the "Gift of Men", dying to join Eru Illuvitar in the afterlife.

This isn't true. What happens to Men when they die is pretty much a mystery to anyone. About the only thing even tentatively canon is Turin coming back during Middle-Earth's "Ragnarok", and even that got changed so much it's nebulous.

Elves have to wait their ****ing turns.

So there's this badass place in the West, with the Valar. And elves get to go there whenever the hell they feel like it. But Eru went and destroyed Numenor when humans tried to come chill.

And Gil-Galad was tossed aside like a cheap hooker while fighting Sauron, leaving the manly Elendil to beat Sauron down, and the heroic Isildur to cut Sauron's One Ring from his finger.

Elendil and Gil-Galad both died fighting Sauron, and Isildur won through sheer luck. Also, way to go using the last of the Noldor kings against examples of badassery from the First Age. Read the Silmarillion. Then you will learn.

Why do you like boring Mary Sue races my son?

Actually, the elves were very interesting and had eventful lives in the First Age, and what we see later on is bits and pieces of their greater history and society.

The better question is why are you basing all of your assumptions on movie versions of elves and the latter books, in relative ignorance of the work which details everything from their creation on to their fading in the Third Age?

Originally posted by Stealth Moose
This isn't true. What happens to Men when they die is pretty much a mystery to anyone. About the only thing even tentatively canon is Turin coming back during Middle-Earth's "Ragnarok", and even that got changed so much it's nebulous.

But it is considered a Gift, with which elves are not privy to. Crai moar.

So there's this badass place in the West, with the Valar. And elves get to go there whenever the hell they feel like it. But Eru went and destroyed Numenor when humans tried to come chill.

So what you are saying is that only Men have the courage to defy God?

I always knew Elves were cowards.

Elendil and Gil-Galad both died fighting Sauron, and Isildur won through sheer luck. Also, way to go using the last of the Noldor kings against examples of badassery from the First Age. Read the Silmarillion. Then you will learn.

Actually Isildur won through looting what was effectively a corpse, the battle was won through Gil-Galad's incompetence and Elendil's manliness.

Actually, the elves were very interesting and had eventful lives in the First Age, and what we see later on is bits and pieces of their greater history and society.

They were not very interesting, you just have atrociously bad taste and also an advanced case of micropenis.

The better question is why are you basing all of your assumptions on movie versions of elves and the latter books, in relative ignorance of the work which details everything from their creation on to their fading in the Third Age?

I think the better question is why you are using First Age examples against me when I was solely talking about Third Age Elves, as if they somehow invalidated anything?

Do you even ****ing lift?

Originally posted by NemeBro
I haven't read the book that details the most elf asskicking, therefore my argument is invalid.

👆

I accept your concession, as well as your anus.

The past 4 pages of this thread are unfortunate.

All of you, kill yourselves. I want your corpses on my desk by tomorrow afternoon.

fite me irl

Just going to throw my thoughts in there.

I hate Elves. I don't know why, I just do. No matter the medium.

Elves are often so obviously mary sues that they're intensely irritating.

This is pretty funny. Try and think of a character then see if Akinator can guess it.

http://en.akinator.com/personnages/jeu

Originally posted by Nephthys
Elves are often so obviously mary sues that they're intensely irritating.

... Says the fan of Canon Sues in TOR.

Nemebro, so long as you debate from ignorance and have a unibrow, you will never win.

Originally posted by UltimateAnomaly
Just going to throw my thoughts in there.

I hate Elves. I don't know why, I just do. No matter the medium.

Originally posted by Stealth Moose
... Says the fan of Canon Sues in TOR.

Nemebro, so long as you debate from ignorance and have a unibrow, you will never win.

I've read the Hobbit, which were the Elves I was talking about. Not Feanor, or Fingolfin, or Earendil.

Only the Elves of The Hobbit.

Are you an idiot?

Originally posted by NemeBro
Ignorance?

I've read the Hobbit, which were the Elves I was talking about. Not Feanor, or Fingolfin, or Earendil.

Only the Elves of The Hobbit.

Are you an idiot?

I love how you change which elves you're referencing at will without expressed notice.

I've said multiple times you need to read the Silmarillion, which details thousands of years of elven conflicts and accomplishments, and makes them less than a stereotype.

So the real question is, are you an idiot?

Originally posted by Stealth Moose
... Says the fan of Canon Sues in TOR.

Playing a Mary Sue is awesome and a cool power fantasy. Reading about how elves are teh most perfectest people ever! is grating.

Originally posted by NemeBro
They can be pretty okay in Dragon Age, they're awesome in Discworld, Drow and some other DnD elves are cool, the Eldar and Dark Eldar in 40k are pretty manly, the Fair Folk in Exalted are also pretty boss as balls. Elder Scrolls Elves (Including the Dwarves and Orcs, oho) are pretty cool.

👆

Its Tolkien style elves who are these absurd utopian hippy ubermensch that are annoying.

Originally posted by Stealth Moose
I love how you change which elves you're referencing at will without expressed notice.

I've said multiple times you need to read the Silmarillion, which details thousands of years of elven conflicts and accomplishments, and makes them less than a stereotype.

So the real question is, are you an idiot?

Which is further indicated by Legolas (The elf we spend the most time with in the series) being my favorite of the trio in LotR, indicating that I didn't find them that bad in that series?

I probably will read the Silmarillion in the near future, but how the Elves are portrayed in there has absolutely no bearing on how they are portrayed in the Hobbit, which is to say that they are annoying. Admittedly largely in a more superficial and aesthetic sense.

I have indulged you with some cheeky trolling for long enough. You misinterpreted my post (Or you are just masochistic, I am not entirely certain which is the case) and have been exposed for the cowardly, dull-minded whoreson you are. Admit you were wrong and begin coddling my balls, you filthy nut-stain on the universe's lower back.

Originally posted by Nephthys
Playing a Mary Sue is awesome and a cool power fantasy. Reading about how elves are teh most perfectest people ever! is grating.

👆

Its Tolkien style elves who are these absurd utopian hippy ubermensch that are annoying.

If you say so, Nemebro-sama. 😍

Anybody else think that Orlando Bloom got fat?

And that the Nazgul prison was possibly the coolest scene in all 5 movies (until Radagast showed up)

Originally posted by Zampanó
Anybody else think that Orlando Bloom got fat?

I'm not even sure why.