at the end of last samurai
Katsumoto: i must do it myself
Tom Cruise: no!
Katsumoto: *stabs himself in the stomach*
tom: ahh gross i have to take that to the emporer now
Katsumoto: everything is..is..per..perfect
tom: ugh shut up uhh gross, you're spewing blood on my new suit!
later on....
tom brings in the sword
tom: katsumoto wanted you to have this
emporer: it is covered in blood!
tom: well yeah i didn't really have time to clean it, you see i've been shot, arrowed, and stabbed countless times throughout the movie, i think i'm about to die.
emporer: Katsumoto had AIDs, you will die.
tom: oh, uh.. *commits hari kiri*
Originally posted by DarkC
[thirty second scene of everyone riding out and swinging wildly.]
Mist: *crying* I just broke a nail!
(Everyone laughing.)[Up on the cliff.]
Alpha Centauri: King Mist stands alone.
Ushgarak: They're not alone. There's a couple people riding out with him, see?
AC: Bloody hell, I meant him and his Rohanian army stands alone. It's a figure of speech.
Ushgarak: Hmmph.
AC: Exactly. Now just call out your Star Wars Versus frequenter horsemen and let's get this over with.
Ushgarak: RP NEEERDS! *draws sword*[A legion of heavily armoured SWVF nerds on horses stride forth.]
AC: Yaaah!
Ushgarak: To the King!
All VS Nerds: TO THE KING!
Numan: I call the first green item that drops.
Blaxican-Hydra: You ninja.[Down on plain.]
Uruk-Hai 1: What the - ? zOMG, Cavalry! Are they allowed to do that?
Uruk-Hai 2: Does it really matter? They're doing it anyways, f*cktard. There's no f*cking rules on the battlefield. Shooting our dicks out was pretty h4xx0r-ish, but we can't do shit about it.
Uruk-Hai 1: Better not kiss your mother with that mouth.
Uruk-Hai 2: No. But I did rip her leg off and gnaw on it.
(Long pause.)
UH Commander: Form ranks! Ranks! Let me see those pikes pointed at those charging wankers!
(Five dozen long pikes point at the charging horsemen.)
Numan: Oh, this doesn't look good.(Out of nowhere, a UH crossbow bolt impales Numan, who falls.)
Blaxican Hydra: Hunh. No great loss.
l0rd?: They thought they could get me. They were wrong.
{Out of nowhere, a UH crossbow bolt impales l0rd?, who falls.)
Blaxican Hydra: Hahaha. Loser.
Ushgarak: I'll say.
Ushgarak: Alpha, we're getting uncomfortably close to those pikes. Might want to do something about it.
Alpha: I got this, I got this.
(giant light flares to life.)Uruk-Hai 1: NOOO! MY EYES! I NEED THEM TO READ!
Uruk-Hai 2: You know you can't read.
Uruk-Hai 1: You know, you're not helping. At all.(Horsemen smash into front line and drive all the UH back.)
(Rohans drive the Uruk-Hai to the forest, where they are immediately beset by a crapload of angry Ents.)
David: Yeah, this is why you don't mess with Greenpeace.
Vinny: Hey, you see that Rowan over there? I think I peed on that when we were searching for Bloigen and Floigen in Fangorn.
Vinny: Oh shit, here he comes now. Hide me.
David: 🤨
Lea: Leave him, he's being weird again.
David: I think that giant Ash over there wants a bone to pick with you too.
Lea: Well, jeez....when you gotta go, you gotta go, okay?
Alpha Centauri: The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle Earth begins.
(A week later, near an extremely waterlogged Isengard)
Bloigen: I feel like I'm relaxing after a hard day's work.
Floigen: Only you've never done a hard day's work.
Bloigen: What are you talking about? We trashed Isengard a few days ago.
Floigen: That was mostly Treebeard though.
Bloigen: Hahaha, he was unstoppable. "I'm the Juggernaut *****!" Breaks through the dam. That was priceless.
Floigen: Oh, here they come.
(Alpha Centauri, Vinny, Lea, David, and Ushgarak ride up.)
Floigen: Welcome to Isengard, my lords!
Vinny: (aside to Lea) Who's he talking to?
Lea: (ignores) You wankers! You've led us on a shitload of a goosechase and now we find you feasting and smoking!
Bloigen: We are just enjoying a few well-earned comforts.
Bloigen: The salted pork is particularly good.
Lea: Eww, keep your nasty salted pork.
Bloigen: Wha - ?
Floigen: She's a vegetarian.
Bloigen: Oh, okay.
Take a movie quote, and make it KMC related...
Like so:
"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, DUSTY? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SKIP A WEEKLY? DO YOU SEE....WHAT HAPPENS....WHEN YOU....SKIP....A.....WEEKLY..."
-The Big Lebowski / ~Da Rev~
"So, you are obviously the big noob. The men on the side of ya are your socks. There are two types of socks. There are big brave socks, and there are little mincey ****** socks. Now, noobs have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell weekly and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old Weekly, and have brought your two small mincey ****** socks along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no Weekly here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a veteran. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little socks are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "RESTRICTED" written down the side of your avatar... And the fact that I've got "MODERATOR"... Written down the side of mine... Should precipitate your socks into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... **** off! "
-Snatch / Dusty
Let's see some. 😎