Gossip!

Talking about events that have happened with mutual friends or what not, that's different. Like if friends have a fight and you discuss it, I don't consider that to be gossip.

The gossip I think of when I hear the word is the kind that involves women talking about everything that isn't their business, judging people on it and spreading it around.

Gossip is stupid, I couldn't care less what new shoes so and so just got, or who she's sleeping with. It's for Big Brother fans who aren't content with their own existence.

-AC

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
What do you think about gossip? Do you participate in it? How often and why do you gossip, if you do?

Personally, I believe the sociological theory of ''othering'' applies to gossip very neatly - people usually look for weaknesses and negative traits in others, so that they could distance themselves from them.
By identifying other people as weak, irresponsible, sexually deviant and promiscuous, people hope to point away for what they don't want to be identified with - so in order to do so, they have to identify someone else as that.

Do you believe this applies? If not, why do you think gossip happens?

I think that originally gossip was like WWW on a small scale. In early societies, with no books, phones, letters, alphabets even, the only way to get information around was to chat and talk and “spread” the word. I view that as a social function, one that would knit the tribe/kingroup tighter together.

With the advent of class-structures, urbanisation and NORMS gossip probably degenerated to “talking badly about others behind their back”. It became a sociological weapon, and a way for those inside the boundaries of the NORM to reaffirm their position, distance themselves from those outside the norm and make sure those outside the NORM was viewed as strange/abnormal/wrong.

Is there a DEFINITION of gossip? I view it as something negative, as verbally backstabbing someone who’s not there to defend themselves. And in societies were individuality is supposedly cherished gossip is socially reactionary! 🙂

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
The gossip I think of when I hear the word is the kind that involves women talking about everything that isn't their business, judging people on it and spreading it around.

Oh right, because men don't gossip at all!

how utterly ridiculous thing to associate gossip with someone's sex.

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Oh right, because men don't gossip at all!

how utterly ridiculous thing to associate gossip with someone's sex.

However, it is pertinent to add that David Crystal has extensively researched language use between the sexes and, amongst linguists, it has been agreed that women partake in 'verbal communions'. This type of 'linguistic sharing' can be easily parralleled with a definition of 'gossiping'. Men, on the other hand, generally use verbal interaction as a way of promoting themselves, rather than talking about others.

Originally posted by Ya Krunk'd Floo
However, it is pertinent to add that David Crystal has extensively researched language use between the sexes and, amongst linguists, it has been agreed that women partake in 'verbal communions'. This type of 'linguistic sharing' can be easily parralleled with a definition of 'gossiping'. Men, on the other hand, generally use verbal interaction as a way of promoting themselves, rather than talking about others.

I complitely disagree with this, firstly because gender is a socially constructed term. It is not a dichotomy, and characteristics other than obvious phyisical differances cannot be associated with sex - this includes use of language.

When you say ''men'' do you mean white, middle class, straight westerners?

David Crystal's extensive research of language is ethnocentric and as far as I can see, cannot and does not apply to a 'general' rule.

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
I complitely disagree with this, firstly because gender is a socially constructed term. It is not a dichotomy, and characteristics other than obvious phyisical differances cannot be associated with sex - this includes use of language.

When you say ''men'' do you mean white, middle class, straight westerners?

David Crystal's extensive research of language is ethnocentric and as far as I can see, cannot and does not apply to a 'general' rule.

Gossip is the bane to any relationship.
Gossip is bad news.

Men are the locker room and bar scenes of promoting themselves and what they know.........no better then women on the subject, IMO

I've heard it all............ One sex isn't better at it then the other.............though for some reason men seem to get away with it more than women..........stereo typing.

Originally posted by debbiejo
Men are the locker room and bar scenes of promoting themselves and what they know.........no better then women on the subject, IMO

I've heard it all............ One sex isn't better at it then the other.............though for some reason men seem to get away with it more than women..........stereo typing.

I think based on perceptions, it doesn't get seen as gossip when men do it. They have a yak, "take the piss" out of people all that - blokey stuff, mens business.

When it comes to women however it is portrayed as something more sinister - they are being conniving, two faced, bitchy back stabbers. An interesting and quite an unfair bit of stereotyping. A lot like the whole women sleep around they get called a derogative term, a guy does it he's a stud - though this two apparently has its roots in gossip and that gender divide.

Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
I think based on perceptions, it doesn't get seen as gossip when men do it. They have a yak, "take the piss" out of people all that - blokey stuff, mens business.

When it comes to women however it is portrayed as something more sinister - they are being conniving, two faced, bitchy back stabbers. An interesting and quite an unfair bit of stereotyping. A lot like the whole women sleep around they get called a derogative term, a guy does it he's a stud - though this two apparently has its roots in gossip and that gender divide.

Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
I think based on perceptions, it doesn't get seen as gossip when men do it. They have a yak, "take the piss" out of people all that - blokey stuff, mens business.

When it comes to women however it is portrayed as something more sinister - they are being conniving, two faced, bitchy back stabbers. An interesting and quite an unfair bit of stereotyping. A lot like the whole women sleep around they get called a derogative term, a guy does it he's a stud - though this two apparently has its roots in gossip and that gender divide.

Originally posted by debbiejo
It may seem that women have gotten a bad rap because of Biblical reasons, but men do just the same.............A secret shared is a locket of gold to someone they might want to impress..Yes??

Reminds me of an old historical act.

Back in Roman days, when a man was in a meeting, it was quite possible he would allow his wife to sit in as well, in order to advise him while he hobnobbed with the fat cats of whatever business he was in. Of course, being a women she couldn't be seen to be doing this, so she was behind a curtain behind her husbands chair, whispering out to him.

The whole power behind the throne, but that negative image of the women conniving in the shadows behind he husbands back. Rather unfair.

Psst! Did you hear the rumor? Gay Guy pwns everybody at KMC! Pass it on!

Shhhhhhhhh...........really?...............pm me............K?

promise........won't tell.............

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Oh right, because men don't gossip at all!

how utterly ridiculous thing to associate gossip with someone's sex.

How utterly ridiculous to assume that I believe men don't gossip. Read the post again, then perhaps we can continue this discussion. Ok, pumpkin? Good.

I said it's the kind of thing that is associated with the word "Gossip". There are gossip magazines specifically made for women, sometimes even with similar titles that show they are made for women.

Remember, Lil. It's look, then leap. Not leap first.

-AC

Ya know, when you call people "Pumpkin".........it kinda sets a really bad tone.............Not much positive can come from that little bro. 😉

Of course both genders gossip – because gossip is a social weapon. It’s just that, as has been mentioned here, when women do it, it’s seen as conniving, sinister, back-stabbing, while men gossiping are just “shading with the blokes”.

Flip through your average “woman’s magazine” and the flip through your average “men’s magazine.” There will be gossip in both of them, it’ll just be called… different things.

Originally posted by The Omega
Of course both genders gossip – because gossip is a social weapon. It’s just that, as has been mentioned here, when women do it, it’s seen as conniving, sinister, back-stabbing, while men gossiping are just “shading with the blokes”.

Flip through your average “woman’s magazine” and the flip through your average “men’s magazine.” There will be gossip in both of them, it’ll just be called… different things.

No, no, no, you're getting baffled. This isn't a "Read his posts and get my own meaning" thing. There's factual info up for grabs.

There are male-orientated magazines that feature "male" subjects, I find them to be juvenile and stupid, to be honest. Of course there are similarly natured things.

However, here in England, there are quite literally gossip magazines for the female gender. I've personally never, ever seen a Hello! Magazine aimed at males. "Hey guys! This week, check out David Beckham's new haircut and learn how to..." etc. I have, however, seen "Check out Posh Spice's new shoes! Paris Hilton speaks out about her new dog!" kind of things. Here there are actual gossip magazines aimed at women. There are also, if you can believe it, gossip magazines that revolve around fictional soap operas, as if they are real people.

Mostly it's women who buy these. Men's magazines are aimed primarily at subjects that are seen as typically male. Cars, females, sex etc. Women's mags hardly ever feature men, not here, not that I've seen. They feature soap operas, gossip about celebrities, recipes.

Why gossip? Probably because it's a bigger female passtime. Did I deny men do it? No. One thing I do hate, though, is females who love to gossip but hate the label. Newsflash, if you gossip, you're as bad.

-AC

AC> Different genders may gossip about different THINGS. But it is STILL gossip...

(I can't for the life of me figure out why SOME women find some movie stars new hair-cut or break-up interesting... But, hey... Just as I can't figure out how football-play A's goal-record is interesting either) 😉

Not at all, you're entirely missing the point, and the concept of gossip. Gossip isn't any kind of casual conversation about commonality, it's a specific act or idea.

You can't gossip about cars, it defies logic. You don't gossip about sports, do you? No. It makes no sense to label males discussing what are typically male subjects, as gossip, just for the sake of trying to make things even. I'm sure some men do gossip, women gossip, but the gossip that springs to mind when the word is said is the kind that has become synonymous with females. Proven with the magazine comparison.

My mum won't walk out the door without looking "presentable", even if she looks perfectly ok. I ask her why, "Because I don't want people to see me like this. What will they think?" It's a typically female trait to be concerned with A) Things that don't concern you and B) Things that don't matter, eg: Victoria Beckham's new shoes or who Jennifer Aniston is dating. Not exclusively, not totally, but typically. It's not something people attach to the male gender, it's not a demeanour that is common enough in men to be considered a male trait.

My dad, on the other hand, doesn't say "Shit, I can't drive my car with it looking like that. The man next door might see and harbour some sub-par thoughts of me."

Not all females are like this, naturally. Just like all men don't love blondes, cars and things of that nature. However, I don't stand up and say "Those things are not typically male!". They are to the fullest. They don't apply to me, but they are typically male in that it is synonymous more so with males, than females, and so is gossip for women. It's not exclusively female, but it is typically a female trait.

What I can't stand is females trying to deny this just because they do not gossip. I don't like to bang on about cars, engines and fast things that go whoosh, but those are traits that would be considered typically male. Females, such as Lil, tend to knee-jerk the reaction of "Everyone gossips! Men gossip! It's not just women! It's equal!", just because they don't wish to be lumped in. You're not being lumped in, if you aren't one of those people then you're simply not one of those people, but let's not kid ourselves, with some kind of feminist made rose-tinted glasses, into believing that typical gossip is typically female.

-AC