Unfortunately, Superman Returns Is Just Super-Bad. Here's Why.

OK. Everyone release their collective breath. This movie is absolutely unforgivable! Not just disappointing, not just average, but terrible! As expected, the CGI was great--good thing too, because the story was nonexistent. Nonetheless, an iconic screen shot here and there does not a movie make. Here are but a few of the problems:

1. The need for Superman's return is necessitated by the hero's 5 year leave of absence from earth, during which time, he presumably travels to Krypton in order to confirm its destruction. I say "presumably" since we never get to see any of this search, only a rehashed CGI effect of Krypton exploding. If you're going to use a return to Krypton as a plot device--and its an intriguing idea--develop it! Dont' leave it hanging there like an unzipped fly.

2. Lex Luthor is about as threatening as Star Jones in a verbal joust with Barbara Walters. The movie opens with him swindling an old widow out of her fortune. Are you shaking in your boots yet? Isn't this guy supposed to be the smartest guy on the planet? Sigh...I suppose the screenwriters, out of some misguided desire to one-up Hackman's original performance, decided complete emasculation of Superman's nemesis was the only route to go. Kudos on that guys! Oh yeah, and in case you missed the point that this guy has no penis, the movie made sure to show Parker Posey literally dump his "crystals" into the ocean. At least that was less painful than witnessing the relentless zinging of the movie's villain with "you're bald" jokes.

3. Lois Lane and Routh are as flat as pancakes. There is no emotional depth to the characters at all. I guess the writers realized this when they were penning the script because, a la "Family Ties", "The Cosby Show", "Phantom Menace", or "Full House", they decided to hide their faltering story by turning Lois Lane's 5 year old kid into a major character. As expected, this was typical bait and switch. Bring out the kid everytime we need a tear. And, for extra effect, lets make him speech impaired and only utter things like "Mommy, will he get better? I want him to get better."
Get my gun.

4. Luthor's plan to destroy Superman starts off well--steal Kryptonian technology and use it to conquer the world and kill Superman--but leaves something to be desired in the execution. Luthor uses a crystal from the Fortress of Solitude to create a new continent--one based on the crystaline geology of Krypton. OK, so far. What now? Build some kick-ass Kryptonian weapons? Revive some long-dormant Kryptonian A.I. that runs amok? Build a suit of Kryptonian battle armor to give Supes a run for his money? None of the above. If you said, kick back, smoke a cigar and play a couple of hands of No-Limit Texas Hold-Em, you'd be more on the right track. Yawn...

5. What else? Oh yeah. Lois has a live-in boyfriend played by X-Men's James Marsden. If only they had let Marsden unleash a well-placed optic blast to eleviate the mind-numbing boredom of watching him squirm from one insecurity complex to the next. I guess I can't blame the guy. If I knew my girlfriend's ex was the last son of Krypton, I'd probably be a little uneasy too. However, all sympathy for the character quickly evaporates as he is remorselessly turned into a Women's Sensitivity Seminar Poster Boy.

6. In the end, I didn't know what to be irritated by the most--the film's inability to engage me in any way by the story, or its heavy-handed attempts to endorse some limp-d--k vision of the sensitive, modern man.

There has been some recent attention surrounding the question, "Is Superman Returns a gay film"? I don't think "gay" quite hits the mark on this one. Rather, terms like "limp", "flacid",and "impotent" come to mind.

Well, I think you're an IDIOT! And should have no business in any forum..........................................ANYWHERE!

Go watch The Village, Open Water, HellRaiser Deader, and The Life Aquatic(Bill Murray) Those are some "limp" "gay" movies!!!!!

OMG! I almost want to reach out of my computer and smack you in the head for saying something stupid like that!

Originally posted by GODOFALL1
Well, I think you're an IDIOT! And should have no business in any forum..........................................ANYWHERE!

It's just an opinion. You shouldn't be insulting someone over their opinions.

Originally posted by Adam Warlock
It's just an opinion. You shouldn't be insulting someone over their opinions.

Agreed.

This member will get his questions answered in good time. This is a real Superman movie...no mistakes for now.

This isn't an opinion...it's a bunch of pointless rants. 👇

Originally posted by WrathfulDwarf
This isn't an opinion...it's a bunch of pointless rants. 👇

Why, because he isn't singing the praises of the movie?? 🙄

I could call people listing what they like about the movie pointless. Some moderator you are, that troll above calls Dr Zaius an idiot just because he disliked the movie, and you do nothing??

Rock on Dr Zaius. Freedom of speech. You diss the movie as much as you like.

Originally posted by Adam Warlock
It's just an opinion. You shouldn't be insulting someone over their opinions.

A pity some of the moderators around here don't think that way.

Originally posted by Doc Ock
Why, because he isn't singing the praises of the movie?? 🙄

I could call people listing what they like about the movie pointless. Some moderator you are, that troll above calls Dr Zaius an idiot just because he disliked the movie, and you do nothing??

Rock on Dr Zaius. Freedom of speech. You diss the movie as much as you like.

Before you even post any stupid remarks about me (OMG the moderator said STUPID!) Don't assume things you don't know. He was fairly warned via pm not to make those comments. No one has told Dr Zaius NOT to make his comments. He is free to make them...however they do sound more like rants rather than comments.

I can issue a warning to you for accusing other members of trolling. But I'm not going to do it because I'll allow people to express themselves. Can you do the same with my responses?

Originally posted by Doc Ock
A pity some of the moderators around here don't think that way.

A pity some members don't know anything and make assumptions out of nowhere. Care to stay on topic from here on? Don't answer...just do it.

Let me clarify my initial remarks. First of all, I'm critiquing the movie (which, objectively speaking, was bad) not Superman. Second, I went into the movie expecting and hoping it to be good. I was disabused of these notions about 25 minutes into the film. I'm a fan of Superman and the Superman mythos. That is why I find it startling that there's such universal praise for this film on these boards. What was there to like? Apart from the impressive visuals? You mean to tell me that people prefer a version of Luthor that portrays him as a two-bit hustler? That's what he is in this film. And again, so we're all clear, everyone was just blown away by the stunning way in which Luthor uses the stolen Kryptonian tech in his master scheme? A scheme that has him sitting around on his new island with his goons playing cards? No one else found this boring in the slightest? Everyone thought that the dopey kid actor they kept dragging along with Lois was a scene stealer and worthy of the screen time? And everyone enjoyed those riveting last 25 minutes or so of the film in which absolutely nothing happened? If the answer to these questions are yes, than I stand corrected.

I challenge everyone that thinks they like this film to think about the vast gulf that lies between the movie's basic concept and aspirations (which are good) and its execution (which is abysmal).

i sort of agree with a lot of the comments, but i dont think it was quite that bad. I just think Kate bosworth was a horrible choice, and routh needed more development.

to godofall your the one with no place on a message board. You didnt even give a counter point you just hes wrong, and also posted 3 times all at once, why not put it in one post? or use the edit button.

Originally posted by WrathfulDwarf
This isn't an opinion...it's a bunch of pointless rants. 👇

They're valid opinions, and I agree with every one of them, personally, given they're the exact same reasons why I disliked the movie.

He could have even outed the sheer ludicrous nature of the plot, which, in and of itself, makes no sense whatsoever.

Spoiler:
That being Luthor flooding Metropolis and surrounding areas so he can cease control of an uninhabitable piece of land with which he'll do what with?

Zaius, cheers to you. Well explained and articulated points.

I can issue a warning to you for accusing other members of trolling. But I'm not going to do it because I'll allow people to express themselves. Can you do the same with my responses?

You'd warn someone for suggesting a troll is trolling, which he obviously is, having been warned previously, and asked not to post said retorts?

Don't have to explain that, just seems a little bogus. 😕

man you guys read into things too much, whenever did the original superman films seem correct? so many things that were wrong or he did in a way which wouldn't happen because it would melt or bend... my god get a life guys... and fast because I'd shoot people who dribble on about something normal people don't even realise as something that bad until you open your mouth or type it into a forum where you cant get punched in the head... lucky you!

I thought it was a good movie, but Dr. Zaius made some nice points.

What I didn't like is that Lois and Clark had no connection. They should have been portrayed as very good friends. But instead, Clark was nothing more to Lois than a "guy I work with."

It had some nice qualities, the plane sequence was great, Supermans' heat rays look awsome. Flying sequences= amazing!

Superman going back to Krypton should have been explored more.

I agree with many of the points Dr. Zauis made especially the ones having to due with the plot, and Lex Luthor's sceme. I thought there should have been more conflict between the two. One thing i dont agree on is Brandon Routh character being flat. I thought this guy did an awesome job, especially as Superman. As for the CGI probably the best i have seen along with King Kong.

i thought this movie was decent. although, it was a little boring in the end and Zaius did make some good points, i just dont think it made the movie as bad as he had thought. all the special effects and flying sequences made up for all that IMO, which were very entertaining. especially that scene with the gatling gun, and superman just walks right up to him.. and that bullet flattens on his eye..!! just plain aweshom..! 💃 💃

Originally posted by C-Dic
They're valid opinions, and I agree with every one of them, personally, given they're the exact same reasons why I disliked the movie.

He could have even outed the sheer ludicrous nature of the plot, which, in and of itself, makes no sense whatsoever.

Spoiler:
That being Luthor flooding Metropolis and surrounding areas so he can cease control of an uninhabitable piece of land with which he'll do what with?

Zaius, cheers to you. Well explained and articulated points.

You'd warn someone for suggesting a troll is trolling, which he obviously is, having been warned previously, and asked not to post said retorts?

Don't have to explain that, just seems a little bogus. 😕

Of course you gonna agree with them. You didn't like the movie....period. Like I said he can make all the comments he wants...no one is stopping him from doing it. And I sincerely hope you're not joining Ock on putting my moderatorship skills on trial. Quite frankly the best comment so far came from Mattday:

man you guys read into things too much,

..by that he meant the intricate details. Not being a fan of the original, I don't even have to read into the mythos of Superman pertaining to this movie to point out its countless flaws and shortcomings. They're all too evident even to casual, non-biased, clear thinking movie goers.

It's just flawed even in principal.