Jack: William, I shall give you my compass if you help me find this (shows him the draw-ring of the key)
Will: Jack, that's insane and convoluted. I'm a blacksmith. Assuming this is to scale, I'll make you a key and then we can run off and nab this chesty thing of yours, all without once encountering any immortal, magical people.
Will: Elizabeth, you know, long distance relationships dont work.
ELizabeth: You're saying.
Will: yes. I can't see you anymore.
Elizabeth: Why can't I come on your ship?
Will: WTF? a woman? on the manlee ship of ghosty terror? No way, baby, I'm not ready to break my number one clubhouse rule! NO girls in the man-cave.
Elizabeth: Will... I want a divorce
Will: WHAAAAAAAAAAA-? ha-son
Elizabeth: I've been having an affair with the blacksmith... and the baker... and the mayor... and the pool boy, Antonio
Will: WHY?!?!?!?!
Elizabeth: Well let's face it. I only get to see you for a single day every ten years. Our son, little Billy, doesn't even know you and Jacklyn isn't even yours.
Will: She's not?
Elizabeth: No, she isn't. Jack came into town sometime after your second visit and we sort of did the horiznotal tango.
Will: Well, now that you mention it, she does look a lot like him. And it explains why she's always drinking rum.
~loud belch emits from other room~
Elizabeth: All in all, I never want to see you again. Which will be easy since I've only seen you four times since you became the captain of the Flying Dutchman.
Will: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ha-son