What POTC characters would NEVER say...

Started by diddly-dum106 pages

hysterical

umm hmm cant think of anything new.anybody else?

A day in the life of Jack, with his own personal translator...

Jack wakes up next to a random wench.

Jack: I had a wonderful time last night.

Translator: Who the hell are you?

Jack is met by Mr. Gibbs

Gibbs: Captain, where have you been?

Jack: Complications arose, ensued and were overcome..

Translator: I had to sleep with a few people to escape.

Jack sees Elizabeth and walks over to her.

Elizabeth: Jack, we need to talk.

Translator: Jack, I'm pregnant.

Coutinue of the one above
Jack:WHAT!?
Tranlator:Yes jack
jack:Umm who is the Father?
Tranlator:How shoud i know this isnt the Twenty First Century you know

Jack: Have you thought through all the possibilities?
Translation: Have you talked to Will lately?

A different day. Will and Liz are talking.

Liz: It's not you, it's me
Translation: Its not me, its you.

Liz: I think we should see other people
Translation: I have already been seeing other people.

lol

Will: But how could you kiss Jack?
Translation: How could you NOT kiss Jack, especially when I'm such a puss?

Liz: It was to save us all
Translation: Because if I didn't, I would have killed everyone on here to get rid of that energy.

Will: And do you regret it?
Liz: Some
Translation: Yeah, regretting I didn't do it soon enough.

Originally posted by willofthewisp
Will: But how could you kiss Jack?
Translation: How could you NOT kiss Jack, especially when I'm such a puss?

Liz: It was to save us all
Translation: Because if I didn't, I would have killed everyone on here to get rid of that energy.

Will: And do you regret it?
Liz: Some
Translation: Yeah, regretting I didn't do it soon enough.

i just had the biggest giggle of my life from this.

that is HILARIOUS.

keep going with it! 😄

Jack: I was mildly surprised when you chained me up.
Translation: I never realized you were so kinky.

Liz: It was a tough decision
Translation: I knew we didnt have time to go to the cabin.

Jack: Did the compass help you decide in the end?
Translation: Did your screaming hormones and raging emotions finally get through to you?

Liz: Oh Jack...
Translation: Shut up and kiss me.

From the actual movie (paraphrased of course. I'm lazy)

Jack: You'll come over to my side. I know it.
Translation: And then from my side into the cabin

Liz: You seem very certain
Translation: And hot, don't forget hot.

Jack: One word, love, curiosity.
Translation: I'm undressing you with my eyes even as we speak.

(some dialogue, cuts down to her not being able to resist)

Liz: Why doesn't your compass work?
Translation: How much do you want me?

Jack: My compass works fine.
Translation: You won't win that easily....yet

😍

HAHAHAHA this thread is so fun. you are so funny LOL...

Liz: I just thought i'd be married by now. I'm so ready to be married.
Translation: The lingerie i was going to wear was stunning. i'm so ready to get laid.

Jack: You know Lizzie, I am the captain of a ship, and being so, i can perform a marriage right here, right on this deck, right now.
translation: You know sexy woman i cant get out of my head, i am pretty experienced in that area, and the deck of the ship would make the perfect area for us to explore that together.

Liz: no thank you
translation: there are people around.

Jack: why not? we are very much alike you and I... I and you... US...
translation: they wouldnt mind- we both look hott naked.

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! LUV IT! u guys are hilarious!!!!

ha, funny

HA HA HA! I love that Kate!

Jack: We're very much alike, you and I, I and you. Us.
Translation: You want me and you know it.

Liz: Except for a sense of decency and honor, and a moral center, and personal hygeine.
Translation: I'm not taking you right here right now on the ship.

Jack: Trifles
Translations: Even if I dare you to?

🙂 go on...it's relly good

Jack: Elizabeth? You know these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin...
Translation: Did my fantasy come to life? Oh, but in my fantasy you wouldn't be wearing anything. I wonder how vulnerable you are right now...

Liz: Jack, I know Will came to find you, where is he?
Translation: Damn, why do you have to be so charming? I'm trying to focus on Will here.

Jack: Darling, i hate to tell you this, but through an entirely unforseeable set of circumstances that have nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones' crew.
Translation: I arranged the whole affair to my pleasure. Will is a wimp who can't protect himself, much less you.

Jack: Davy Jones?
Translation: You don't have to make up such outrageous stories. If you want to seduce me, just do it.

Norrington: Oh please. Captain of the Flying Dutchman.
Translation: How can Jack use Davy Jones as a pick-up line?! Why does everything he says sound so sexy? Why can't i be more like that?

Elizabeth: All i want is to find Will.
translation: All I want is to find Will so I can dump him and move on to YOU.

Jack: Is that really what you want?
Translation: Can you possibly resist me?

Liz: Of course.
Translation: Uh, I'm trying my hardest to resist you...

Jack: Because I would think you would want to find a way to save Will from his grim fate.
Translation: It's impossible to resist me. If we go on a meaningless side journey to save whats-his-face, I'll prove it to you.

Liz: And you would have a way of doing that?
Translation: Does this involve you and me in your cabin?

Jack: With my compass (opens it and closes it quickly)
Translation: Give her some slack, then reel her in

Norrington: Oh please, a compass that's broken and doesn't point north?
Translation: I'll talk them into having a threesome yet.

Jack: It doesn't point north.
Translation: I do love to entice you

Liz: Where does it point?
Translation: SOMETHING had better be pointing at me right now

Jack: It points to what you want most in this world.
Translation: Something is definitely pointing at you, my dear

Liz: Jack. Are you telling the truth?
Translation: And is it giving me a standing ovation?

Jack: Every word, love
Translation: Not only a standing ovation, it's demanding an encore

Jack: So what you want is to find the chest.
Translation: Because I can't very well make sweet love to you dead

Liz: To save Will!
Translation: Oh yeah.....Will...

Jack: By finding the chest
Translation: Yeah, let's pretend it's about Will right now.

You cant stop. this is OUT OF CONTROL FUNNY. i would be such a depressed person with your humor to make me laugh uncontrollably so all my friends think i am NUTS.

that was the best one yet. I cant even express the sheer brilliance of it. i am laughing my ass off right now, and i normally dont use that word. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

gee i need to stop, this cant be good for my heart....
the threesome line.... OH MY GOSH. LOL. actually ALL OF IT.

please keep going.

maybe we should just translate the whole movie. its HILARIOUS. im starting a new thread.

Jack:More That food more than weponry an ally can save your life(its no soposed to be funny buti has wisdom in it)

Jack: I should have bought a voodoo doll and find out if it works (testing it on Will)