DMC Bloopers

Started by ivebeendepped43153 pages

aahh! me too!

its great as always t maria!

thankyou everyone 🙂

can you tell i get bored in work 😄

................no! not at all! lol

by the way maria it doesnt bother me u postig ur rp LMAO noooooo i dont mind posting their own rp in here. guys are free to do da hell ya want 😉

lol true!

well T. MAria feel free to be as bored as u want cause from ur boredum come great hilarious stories which honestly keep me coming back everyday...lol!!! I love them keep them up!!! u too CHIKI MINA please finish ur RP i liked it!!

yes continue!

omg...i love this SOOOOOOOOOO much! i had a bad day today and this totally made me feel better...i can't wait to see this turn scooby doo (everyone splits up...) you should make orli be scooby, and bwahaha be shaggy...lol....or somethin' like it...

Originally posted by Chiki Mina
by the way maria it doesnt bother me u postig ur rp LMAO noooooo i dont mind posting their own rp in here. guys are free to do da hell ya want 😉

See this is why i love this forum..evryone is so supportive 😄
But chikimina you NEED to finish your RP!! Like NOW! 😄

Originally posted by Piratediva
well T. MAria feel free to be as bored as u want cause from ur boredum come great hilarious stories which honestly keep me coming back everyday...lol!!! I love them keep them up!!! u too CHIKI MINA please finish ur RP i liked it!!

My boredom keeps me pretty entertained at the moment i have to say ...

...Funny....how things work out aint it? 😆

originally posted by sailorleo
omg...i love this SOOOOOOOOOO much! i had a bad day today and this totally made me feel better...i can't wait to see this turn scooby doo (everyone splits up...) you should make orli be scooby, and bwahaha be shaggy...lol....or somethin' like it...

I LOVE this idea!!! 😱 ... i think it could work 😄

oh and i noticed your sig aswell 😄
Will for the pic and then (if im not mistaken) Your line from the Rp about Norrie??? 😄

I'm honoured!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😄
*bows down*

...unless im wrong, in which case i am VERY embarrassed 😮

hehe!

no you're right i was gonna give you credit for the line but i didn't have enoungh space too... 🙁

OK GUYS.....THE LAST ONE....BEWARE, ITS LONG!!!! ...and in two parts because it wont all fit onto the same post!!!!!!!!! lol
lmao😄

HELL'S BELLS
Part Six...

**Come and join our hero's as they brave certain death and sacrifice themselves for their true friend...and hopefully get a BIG reward at the end 😄**

Our hero's have spilt themselves up into three groups...it was a lengthy debate for whom should go into which group... that lead them all to the same conclusion...None of them wanted to take Bwa ha ha with them

Meanwhile...

IN THE BLUE TEAM:

**Johnny, PirateDiva, ivebeendeppened and taurusbaby are running along the corridors of the police station...well i say running...it was more like walking at a fast pace....**

Johnny: Will you go a little quicker please? I feel like i'm dragging a dead body behind me...

PirateDiva: Well i'm sorry if i don't have the agility of a cheetah on speed...and besides, your legs are longer than mine!

Johnny: Well it serves you right for shackling yourself to me, then!

PirateDiva: *smirking at him*
Oh...you love it really!

Ivebeendeppened: oh...spare me....

Taurus: Can you hear something???

ivebeendeppened: I can hear nothin' but those two making googly eyes at eachother...

Taurus: no, besides that....it sounds like footsteps....

Piratediva: Behind us?!

Ivebeendeppened: Shhhhhhh!....I can't hear anything with your wide open trap shouting!

Taurus: Yeah....gob on legs!

Ivebeendeppened: ....Its getting closer....

Johnny: Oh god! We're all gonna die!

Taurus: ....And i thought Orli was a wuss....

Johnny: I'm not a wuss...i just dont like these situations...being a recluse of a movie star i kind of avoid contact with the police...too many bad experiences in the past...

Ivbeendeppened: Here here!

PirateDiva: ooh...do tell!

Johnny: Well...it all started with a can of spray paint and my very first cat, Mr Tinkles.....

Meanwhile...

IN THE RED TEAM:

The gang are walking around in the staffroom of the Policestation...theres no one in there either...

Keira: I dont like it!

Norrie: WHY was i put on a team with girls? All they do is complain about their feet hurt and how their hands ache from carrying heavy machinery....

Sailor: I only complained because the ammunition was sticking into my thigh...

Norrie: *Smirking*
Interesting...

Chikimina: If you guys even THINK about making kissy faces at eachother, i will bang your heads together...

Keira: I'll pay you to do it anyway...anything to take my mind off these scary passageways...

Sailorleo: I wonder if i can get a kit-kat chunky from the vending machine...

Norrie: Damnit...remember what they say darlin'....'a moment on the lips'....

ChikiMina: A lifetime on the hips...

Sailor: Are you calling me fat, Norrie?

Norrie: Are you kiddin me? If i even suggested it you would chop me into little iddy-biddy pieces....and then eat me

Keira: So why did you say it? Eh? Girls do not need men discussing their weight...

Norrie: Well thats obvious from the way your all beating down on me....

Chikimina: Sailor isnt fat though!

Norrie: AND I NEVER SAID SHE WAS!...Women!

Sailor: hes right...he never said i was...we all just assumed it and jumped to the wrong conclusions...because we are women and therefore if so much as a lettuice leaf passes our lips we are going to think that we have chunky-butts...

Chikimina: And then we eat more because we feel sorry for ourselves and the viscious cycle starts allover again...

Keira: Well...thats me bummed out for the rest of the story....Oh! Look! A twinky!!

A noise is heard from above...and the gang look around, to see a flight of stairs leading from the staffroom and going upwards into the darkness...

Chikimina: I bagsie Norrie goes first...

Sailor: No...if i lose him now ill NEVER get my wedding night!

Keira: Welcome to Elizabeth's world...

Chikimina: But you got a kiss....

Keira: Yup...and ALOT of takes to do it in...

Norrie: *rolling eyes*
oooh...aren't we lucky!

Sailor: If your jealous i will beat it out of you....

Norrie: No im not...and also, i know you will.

Chikimina: Can we get a move on please? Norrie, get up those stairs, now!

Norrie: Fine...but only if you lot come with me!

Sailor: Fine...everyone...hide behind my Norrie on the count of three...

**And so they went...facing the fear of all fears that will meet them at the top of the stairs....and no i dont mean Orlando Bloom in a pink thong....I mean Orlando Bloom in a pink thong AND a bow and arrow...Cupid indeed....**

meanwhile...

**In a padded room somewhere....looking at her hands and sobering up quite unpleasantly...sat a very lonely Lovelyone tied to a wooden chair with her arms behind her back... alone with her thoughts...the police had left her and said they were going on a coffee break...and its one HELL of a coffee break...and even Gore seemed to have vanished....**

Lovelyone: All i wanted was for him to *Hiccup!* understand....now theres no chance that liz and jack will ever *hiccup!* end the way we want them to! I'VE RUINED IT FOR *Hiccup!* EVERYONE!

Lovelyone suddenly hears a bang from the floor below...and someone shouting obscenties....Johnny had come to rescue her!!!!

Lovelyone: Wooohoooo!....wait...they won't know i'm in here....I have to escape...

**She began to shuffle her chair whilst still sitting on it, her movements making a constapated look appear across her face...suddenly she found herself getting closer to the door....with no hands to open it...**

LovelyOne: ...Shit...

meanwhile...

IN THE PINK TEAM:

**The mighty Orlando and his crew of level-headed misfits are running amock on the very top floor...where the paper shredders and photo-copiers live🙂 (Or is it xerox machine in the usa??)**

Bwahaha: I Xerox'd my ass!

Orli:Remind me never to use that machine again...

evilmonki3: And i found my criminal records...and shredded them!!

Mmoviejunkie: I do worry about you...

Orli: And i take offence to you calling us the pink team!

Kiwi: Its because its full of girls...

Orli😖ometimes I wish there was an alternative universe where i was seen as a man and Johny was seen as a woman....

mmoviejunkie: That would never happen....Johnny has a penis

Bwahaha: Yup...all men have one...

Orli:You girls are the reason why johnny gets more fanmail than i do...

mmoviejunkie: nope....JOHNNY is the reason that johnny gets more fanmail than you....

Evilmonki3: I get the feeling we're forgetting something...

Orli: Yeah...its weird...i feel like we keep going totally offtopic in every chapter...

mmoviejunkie: Yeah...this story would be a HELL of alot shorter if T.Maria would move her ass and get to the climax already!

T.Maria: Hey! You try writing when your brain is overloaded on coffee and your mind is having conversations with itself-

-no its not-

-yes it is-

-see?!

kiwi:When we get LovelyOne out of her padded room...we're putting you in it!

T.Maria: Love you too....

Mmoviejunkie: LOVELYONE! We're supposed to be finding her!

bwahaha: Ive forgotten about that now...i have the memory span of a baked bean...

Evilmonki3: Really?

Bwahaha: What are you asking me for? I didnt say anything...

Mmoviejunkie: Lets get out of here before T.Maria can think of anything else for bwa ha ha to say!

Orli:...What a blessing that would be....

meanwhile...

**LovelyOne has somewhow miraculously managed to get herself out of the door WHILST her hands are tied around her back..I bet she couldnt do that again if she tried....She whilst still strapped to the chair she shuffles her way slowly along the corridor, not seeing anyone on her travels....lucky her!!**

Lovelyone: I just need to find my way down to the second floor and i'll be able to escape!!!!

Suddenly she stops dead

Lovelyone: Shit...stairs....

[i]Meanwhile...[/b]

ON THE BLUE TEAM

PirateDiva: I DONT LIKE IT! I DONT LIKE IT!

ivebeendeppened: Its nothing to be scared of!!!

Taurus: It bloody well is!!!

Johnny: ...MR JINGLES!!!!!

Taurus: Mr Who Now?

Johnny: Dont tell me youve never seen 'The Green Mile' with tom hanks...and the mouse?? Mr Jingles?

PirateDiva: You cant name it! That'll just make it harder when it comes to killing it...

ivebeendeppened: I'm an animal rights activist ill have you know! You cant kill something just because your scared of it!

Taurus: My pet hamsters always died on their own...

Johnny: What happened to them?

Taurus: Died of starvation...

Ivebeendeppened: ...I'm working with chimps here, people!

PirateDiva: *Nuzzling into johnnys shoulder...*
Hey...Johnnys not a chimp

Johnny: *NUzzling against PirateDiva's hair*
...i'm starting to like this handcuffed thing more and more...

**Suddenly a flash light is pointed straight at the gang...they squint to see who it could be....**

Taurus: ITS THE COPS!!!!!

Johnny: Nooo! If im caught once more i'm going down for along time!

Ivebeendeppened: RUN!

**The gang make a run for it and turn the corner, the cop hot on their tail...**

CONTINUED BELOW!!!!! 😄

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Meanwhile...

ON THE PINK TEAM:

Orli: Whats that...??

Kiwi: It sounds like people shouting...

Orli: No...i meant the thing touching my ass...

bawhaha: Sorry...i was using it to lean on...its very squishy.

mmoviejunkie: it IS people running....

**Suddenly a gang of mass figures come hurling around the corner...whilst orli and bwa ha ha shit themselves and jump into eachothers arms. There is an almighty BANG as the gang and the black figures collide...

Evilmonki3: Someone is on my ankle!

mmoviejunkie: And someone is standing on my fingers!!!

Orli Someone is feelin my ass again!

Bwahaha: I've already told you it was squishy!!

Johnny: Orlando?

mmoviejunkie: Johnny?

ivebeendeppened: mmoviejunkie?

Kiwi: Ivebeendeppened?

Taurusbaby: Kiwi?

Piratediva: Taurus?

EvilMonki3: PirateDiva?

Bwahaha: Bwa ha ha!

Orli: I think ive just died and gone to hell...

Johnny:Has anyone found LovelyOne yet?...and Whose stroking my hair?

Piratediva: Depends...

Mmoviejunkie: Nope...we've found no one but-

COP: PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND STAY STILL!

Bwahaha: Not today...

**Suddenly Bwa ha ha Jumps up and 'matrix styles' her way into beating the ass out of the Cop....yes it is illegal and no i do not suggest you try it...and just for the record; yes this is something that bwa ha ha would actually do 😄**

evilmonki3: impressive...

Bwa ha ha: I try....

PirateDiva: *Grabbing Johnny b the head*
OH THE EXCITEMENT!

**Suddenly PirateDiva is giving our 'real hero' the sloppy wet kiss she has been waiting to give him since she was in the womb...and he seemed to like it!!**

Johnny: Where did that come from?

PirateDiva: ...Oh...you know...ive already told you i'm talented...

Johnny: Show me that again later...

ivebeendeppened: Eugh! ... theres nothing worse than a love-story!

Kiwi: Yes there is...everyone say 'Elizabeth Town', right?

Orli: Hey! .... ok i admit it, THAT was a shit movie....

evilmonki3: I love it when you can see your own faults...

Taurusbaby: Well now that we're all in a biggish group...maybe we should stick together and find Lovelyone???

Orli: Good idea...and i bagsie standing behind Bwa ha ha when the fightin starts...

Bwa ha ha: oh sure...you want me NOW!

meanwhile...

Chikimina: So who really was the better kisser?

Keira: Who do you think?

Chikimina: I KNEW it!...

Keira: And to answer your next question...yes it was tongue...yes it was shot alot of times...and yes i did mess alot of it up just so i could kiss him some more!

Chikimina: So you had a thing for him too, eh?

Keira: I'm only human...

Chikimina: Understand you loud and clear!

**BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!**

Sailor: What in the name of jesus' pyjamas was THAT?!

Norrie: Sounded like someone fallin down the stairs...

Sailor: Itsounded like a gun going off....

Suddenly they heard someone shout....someone who sounded very familiar...

LovelyOne: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

Norrie: That was quick!

Sailor: Yeah...i was planning on a heroic rescue and everything!!!

Chikimina: Dnt you think we've been put through enough??

Keira: Damn you T.Maria!

Lovelyone: WHY are you still standing around!? i'm at the bottom of the steps! HELP ME UP GOD DAMNIT!

**Norrie disappears around the corner, and when he returns he is dragging LovelyOne on her chair backwards**

Sailor: LOVELYONE!!

Lovelyone: About time too!

Chikimina: We need to get out of here...

Keira: How are we supposed to do that?

Sailor: Erm...as easily as we got in?

Norrie: I say we just make a run for it!

Lovelyone: And what am i supposed to do? Shuffle along at snails pace?!
Wouldn't it be better to just untie me?

Norrie: If we did that then the story wouldn't be as funny...

Lovelyone: Fine...screw you...

Sailor: I wish you wouldnt considering he's married to ME...

Chikimina: Lets just get out of here...its giving me the creeps with no one being in here...

lovelyone: Oh yeah...its a bank holiday so they've all taken the day off...

Chikimina: NOW you tell us!

T.Maria: Well i couldnt very well say anything before considering i hadnt made it up yet 😄

Norrie: So really all of this was for nothing...

T.maria: Pretty much...i just thought it would be funny

Chikimina: Your evil...

Keira: Lets go!

**And so..with Lovelyone now safe (but still tied to the chair for comedy effect) the gang make a run for it...-or a fast-paced walk if you will...its hard to run when your dragging a chair behind you-... and finally make their way to the entrance doors of the policestation**

When they make it outside...they find the rest of the gang there...

Sailor:What the hell? I thought you were still inside!!

Johnny: We gave up and decided we couldnt be bothered...

Mmoviejunkie: yeah...we lost interest...

Lovelyone: Oh thanks a bunch guys!

bwa ha ha: Your welcome!

ivebeendeppened: But how good has this story been???!

Evilmonki3: I agree...we should have more adventures like this! It will make my life worth living again!!

Lovelyone: Next time im NOT the one who gets rescued!

Piratediva: But im still the one who gets johnny!!

**Johnny suddenly bends down on one knee infront of PirateDiva**

Johnny: I dont the whole marraige thing...so will you be my life-long partner instead?

Piratediva: Oh gee...let me think about that for a minute....OK I'M DONE!!

**Piratediva leaps into johnnys arms and kisses him roughly**

Orli: I think we've all learned a valuble lesson here...

Kiwi: ive learned nothing at all except that everyone who has read this crap has GOT to be bored!!😄

BARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <--- Supposed to be a sheep!!!! 😄

Bwa ha ha: ICHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chikimina: aww...everyone has lived happily ever after...

Orli: Except me....i'm still a recluse...and alone...

mmoviejunkie: Oh please, like we dont have our own problems without listening to yours.....

Evilmonki3: I'd say the ones who are reading this are the ones with problems....dillusional b***ards....get a life!!

😄

Fini 😄

Sorry it was so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope i did u all proud...and now chikimina can carry on with hers again!!! 😄

thanks for reading (if youve got this far!!!!) ...and hopefully i will be back for more soon 😄

Love yas!!!!

hey sailor i dont need the credit 😄

im just honoured you have used it in a sig 😄

Hope i did everyone proud!!!

haha, whoo that was long!! but amazing!

lol-orlando on the pink team!!!

lol!

I shredded my criminal record! Yay!

(I don't really have one .. lol)

THAT WAS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!! HUZZAH FOR ICHY!!!!!
I love it! You should write another one!!!

A sequel!

lmao at evilm0nki3!!! 😄

i like the name under your login name 😄

'not a sausage' 😄

i actually use that quote myself in real life 😄 hehehehe

i think the sequel is going to be the honeymoon of sailor and norrie...and everyone tags along too 😄

maybe everyone should write that one??🙂

its great t maria!!! now if i can only find my rp lmao