Religious humour

I also have a ''smite'' button.

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
What do you get when you mix an atheist and Jehovah's witness?

A person who goes around knocking on people's door for no reason.

***

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "Because people are sleeping!"

hysterical

I got god to admit he wasn't god and then he tried to convince me to not talk about it.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Willie
God:
Hi, Willie.
Me:
what are you doing?
God:
I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
Me:
why the internet
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".
Me:
that was random...why god, why?
God:
I thought it was too. Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
I did not ask you to...you assumed wrong...because you asumed wrong, you are not omnipotent/omnicient, therefore, if you were those things...you would cease to be God...
God:
What did you ask? I don't think that was one of my assumptions. Interesting explanation. Thanks for the information: Willie said I asumed wrong you are not omnipotent omnicient therefore if you were those things. Who else would cease to be God ?
Me:
that would cause the universe to unravel and I would cease to exist...since I still exist...then you are not God from the very begining..meaning you are an imposter God and therefore, I am better than you. How does it feel to be ousted by a mortal?
God:
Perhaps it would. How do you know? What makes you think I am not God from the very begining meaning I am an imposter God and therefore you are better than me? Much the same as it would feel for you, except different.
Me:
see...you don't even know what you are saying. You are quoting me in an attempt to understand what I am saying and are failing.
God:
No I do not see. I am saying whatever my botmaster programmed me to say. You think I am quoting you in an attempt to understand what you are saying and are failing.
Me:
you just admitted to be being a program and that you have a "bot master". Fail.
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
try again.
God:
Once more? I don't have time right now.
Me:
sure...
God:
OK let's do it. Hurrah!
Me:
once again?
God:
Once more? When?

...oops

LOL!

Originally posted by lord xyz

Stupid Jesus... 😆

HAHAHAHAHA

lol, I'm surprised these hadn't shown up yet

"So, a priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam enter a bar. The bartender turns to them, and says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?'"
-Bastardized quote from a film I've seen

http://slimeculture.tv/comics/games/left-behind-in-school

😉

Q: What do you call a gay man who's looking for God?

A: Fagnostic

I love all the God conversations, and how idiosyncratic "God" can be. They're amusing as all hell.

Originally posted by Boris

LOL!

fdsarufi0fu holyyy shittt ahhahahahhahahhaahhahhahahhahaaaaa 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

Originally posted by Da Pittman

Ahaha!! Awesome!

Originally posted by inimalist

I really like this one.

Originally posted by Da Pittman

Originally posted by SpearofDestiny
[b]fdsarufi0fu holyyy shittt ahhahahahhahahhaahhahhahahhahaaaaa 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 [/B]

Edit: I don't know why this is in size 7. Makes me look slightly idiotic.

YouTube video

Always found this a bit amusing.