!!
*opening scene is of a war-torn atmopsheric ship-to-ship battle between the Trade Federation and the Republic*
*two small Jedi starfighters detach from the battle, arcing under a hull and use afterburners to rocket out.*
Rogue Jedi: Okay, we got a bogey incoming, two. No, make it the round half dozen. Three o'clock.
Mist: I see them too.
RJ: We're going to need a bit of help on this, try hailing Bravo Three on SHIPCOM.
Mist: Yes, master.
Strangelove: Yo-yo-yo, welcome to the west side, buddy!
Mist: Yo yo yo, Bravo Three leader. What's happenin', bro?
Strangelove: You tell me, homie.
Mist: We got apples and bears on the noggin, come and dish 'em a good and loud smackin'.
Strangelove: On our way. Yo fellas, let's kick it to the shiz!
*radio silence*
RJ: What the hell has gotten into the clones?
Mist: I don't mind the gangsta talk, it's kinda funny.
RJ: That was half gangsta and half terribly British English. "Apples and Bears"?
RJ: Ever since JacopeX got hired as a cloning supervisor they've been like this. It's complete bullshit. What'll my girl say?
Mist: Call her and find out, master.
RJ: Not now.
*aerial dogfight ensues.*
RJ: I think I'm a little sick.
Mist: Suck it up like a MAN, master.
RJ: Flying is for the damned droids. They can suck my wang, for all I care.
Mist: I'll take a picture and send it to Fallen.
RJ: Hahahahahaaha!
Mist: Hahahahahahaha!
RJ: That wasn't funny.
*RJ swerves to avoid a piece of debris.*
RJ: Goddamn Jedi order! You'd think they'd have the brains to put airsickness bags under the seat.
*cloud of machinery heads their way*
RJ: O-shit-o-shit-o-shat!
RJ: Buzz droids!
*buzz droids squawk and start messing with RJ's starfighter*
RJ: Mist, just get on out of here and rescue the chancellor.
*Simple Plan's Perfect starts playing over the COM*
RJ: AAAAAARGH! NO! GET ME OUTTA HERE!
Mist: *giggling*
Mist: Hold still, hold still.
*Mist takes a shot.*
RJ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHH! AAAAHH! AHH! AHHHHHHH!
Mist: I got them off of you, master.
RJ: YOU ALSO BLEW HALF MY ****ING RIGHT WING OFF! IDIOT BOY!
RJ: CRAZY HOTSHOT APPRENTICES! ALWAYS THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM!
Mist: It's nothing like that, I'll get under you and guide you in.
RJ: I WILL SUE YOUR ASS!
Mist: You know -
RJ: SUE!
Mist: - you really should -
RJ: YO'!
Mist: - calm down, Master.
RJ: *accidentally toggles mic button* ASS!
Mist: 😐
Mist: You realise you just broadcasted the word "ASS!" to the Trade Federation and the Republic, right? That was FLEETCOM you just toggled.
RJ: Eh, they can lick mine.
RJ: You owe me a copy of The Beach Boys: Greatest Hits.
Mist: HAHAHAHA! Bravo Three, you get that?
Strangelove: Sure did, homie.
Mist: *wobbly falsetto* noteI wish they all could be California...giiiiiiirls! note
Strangelove: Hawhawhawhawhaw!
RJ: *sigh*
Mist: Alright, master, magnetic docking points are good, we're taking you in.
RJ: Idiot! Have you realised their shields are up?!
Mist: Really?
RJ: Bravo Three, see if you can take out their fighter bay shield generators.
Strangelove: Sure can do, homey!
*rockets are fired, the shields go down*
*the doors start closing rapidly*
RJ: *feral screaming*
Mist: *feral screaming*
RJ: We're not going to make it!
Mist: We're going to make it!
RJ: We're not going to make it!
Mist: We're going to make it!
Mist: We're not going to make it!
*large, ear-rending screech of metal on steel as the ship barely lands*
RJ: cry No more flying. Make it stop.
Mist: Wooooo! Yeah, that was awesome. Let's do that again.
RJ: *speaking in tongues*
Mist: *gets out cellphone*
Mist: Hey baby!
LethalFemme: What?
LethalFemme: Why are you calling me, Mist? I thought you were supposed to rescue someone.
Mist: I did, but man, I just did the coolest maneuver eeeeeever! You should have been here! RJ! Talk to me, man!
LethalFemme: *sigh* How is he?
Mist: I think he's in shock. But yeah, lemme get a picture of our fighters.
*Mist clicks camera phone*
LethalFemme: reeve
LethalFemme: How the bloody hell did you manage to land that thing, let alone in a TF fighter bay?
Mist: I'm good.
LethalFemme: Keep dreaming, hon.
Mist: Wait, wait, wait. I gotta show you RJ's face.
*Mist clicks camera phone again*
LethalFemme: 😆
LethalFemme: He looks like someone just froze his genitals solid or something.
Originally posted by DarkC
RJ: You owe me a copy of The Beach Boys: Greatest Hits.
Mist: HAHAHAHA! Bravo Three, you get that?
Strangelove: Sure did, homie.Mist: *wobbly falsetto* noteI wish they all could be California...giiiiiiirls! note
Strangelove: Hawhawhawhawhaw!RJ: *sigh*
Mist: Alright, master, magnetic docking points are good, we're taking you in.
RJ: Idiot! Have you realised their shields are up?!
Mist: Really?
RJ: Bravo Three, see if you can take out their fighter bay shield generators.
Strangelove: Sure can do, homey!*rockets are fired, the shields go down*
*the doors start closing rapidly*
RJ: *feral screaming*
Mist: *feral screaming*RJ: We're not going to make it!
Mist: We're going to make it!
RJ: We're not going to make it!
Mist: We're going to make it!
Mist: We're not going to make it!*large, ear-rending screech of metal on steel as the ship barely lands*
RJ: cry No more flying. Make it stop.
Mist: Wooooo! Yeah, that was awesome. Let's do that again.
RJ: *speaking in tongues*Mist: *gets out cellphone*
Mist: Hey baby!
LethalFemme: What?
LethalFemme: Why are you calling me, Mist? I thought you were supposed to rescue someone.
Mist: I did, but man, I just did the coolest maneuver eeeeeever! You should have been here! RJ! Talk to me, man!
LethalFemme: *sigh* How is he?
Mist: I think he's in shock. But yeah, lemme get a picture of our fighters.*Mist clicks camera phone*
LethalFemme: reeve
LethalFemme: How the bloody hell did you manage to land that thing, let alone in a TF fighter bay?
Mist: I'm good.
LethalFemme: Keep dreaming, hon.
Mist: Wait, wait, wait. I gotta show you RJ's face.*Mist clicks camera phone again*
LethalFemme: 😆
LethalFemme: He looks like someone just froze his genitals solid or something.
crylaugh
Mist: Still in shock. Oh well, he'll snap out of it.
*thirty seconds of face-smacking*
Mist: Or not.
LethalFemme: Well, I might have a remedy.
Mist: Fire away.
LethalFemme: Grab his balls and twist them, like, really hard.
LethalFemme: It works.
Mist: 😐
Mist: And who have you tried this on?
LethalFemme: That's for me to know. 😛
Mist: Okay, here goes.
Mist: Don't tell anyone about this, okay?
LethalFemme: Okay, just send me a picture of you doing it and I'll shut up.
*Mist shakes his head and gets a good grip, and clicks the camera.*
LethalFemme: Heeheheeheeeheeheeheehee!
LethalFemme: You just made my day.
Mist: Great, now just keep quiet about this.
*squeeze, twist*
RJ: WAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH!
RJ: What the HELL was that?!
Mist: Femme's idea.
RJ: *pained blabbering* Oh, jesus. Even vise clamps have more mercy than you just did.
Mist: It was necessary.
LethalFemme: Hi, hon!
Syren: Hello dear, how's it going?
LethalFemme: Not much, just got a call from Mist and Rogue, they crash landed inside a TF cruiser.
Syren: Good for them!
LethalFemme: Yeah, I'll send you a few pictures.
LethalFemme: Their ships...
Syren: Good god, that thing could fly?
LethalFemme: RJ looking stoned...
Syren: 😆
LethalFemme: And man on man.
Syren: I don't know whether to laugh or to masturbate.
Syren: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Originally posted by DarkC
Mist: Still in shock. Oh well, he'll snap out of it.*thirty seconds of face-smacking*
Mist: Or not.
LethalFemme: Well, I might have a remedy.
Mist: Fire away.
LethalFemme: Grab his balls and twist them, like, really hard.
LethalFemme: It works.
Mist: 😐
Mist: And who have you tried this on?
LethalFemme: That's for me to know. 😛
Mist: Okay, here goes.
Mist: Don't tell anyone about this, okay?
LethalFemme: Okay, just send me a picture of you doing it and I'll shut up.*Mist shakes his head and gets a good grip, and clicks the camera.*
LethalFemme: Heeheheeheeeheeheeheehee!
LethalFemme: You just made my day.
Mist: Great, now just keep quiet about this.*squeeze, twist*
RJ: WAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH!
RJ: What the HELL was that?!
Mist: Femme's idea.
RJ: *pained blabbering* Oh, jesus. Even vise clamps have more mercy than you just did.
Mist: It was necessary.LethalFemme: Hi, hon!
Syren: Hello dear, how's it going?
LethalFemme: Not much, just got a call from Mist and Rogue, they crash landed inside a TF cruiser.
Syren: Good for them!
LethalFemme: Yeah, I'll send you a few pictures.LethalFemme: Their ships...
Syren: Good god, that thing could fly?
LethalFemme: RJ looking stoned...
Syren: 😆
LethalFemme: And man on man.
Syren: I don't know whether to laugh or to masturbate.
Syren: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm evil😂
RJ: Jesus. *cradling groin*
Mist: I'll pretend I didn't enjoy it.
RJ: 😐
Mist: Hahahaha...just kidding, jeez.
RJ: I'm telling Master Ladyluck on you.
Mist: "Miss them, do not. Regret it, do not." Screw her.
RJ: HEY!
---
Mist: What now?
RJ: We need to find out where this so called Chancellor is.
RJ: R-tard, go tap into the ship's security systems and find out where Chancellor what's his face is.
*R2D2 chirps dutifully*
Mist: Why'd you call him R-tard?
RJ: He's a robot, he doesn't have feelings, stop trying to defend him.
Mist: He's a good friend of mine, shut up!
RJ: You're friends with a robot.
RJ: *obnoxious laughter*
*metallic footsteps*
Mist: We got battle droids in the house.
*lightsabers ignite*
RJ: We got the force on our side, it's cool.
RJ: Hey, you! *points at nearest one*
T827: What?
*RJ flashes the middle finger and everything goes flying*
RJ: Oh dear, it does seem less accurate using a rude sign than the palm of your hand.
*R2D2 gets up groggily*
Mist: Meanie, you knocked R-tard out. I mean R2D2. I mean......R2D2.
RJ: Hahahahahaha...
Mist: Elevator's up, let's go.
(Five minutes later)
Mist: Look, there he is.
*Chairs swivels around to reveal a rather bad-tempered Lana.*
Mist: Uh.......I stand.....corrected.
RJ: Where's the chancellor?
Lana: That would be me.
RJ: But...but....
Lana: What were you expecting, an evil old man?
RJ: Well -
Lana: Do I smell old to you?
RJ: I -
Lana: Do I look wrinkled?
RJ: Uh -
Lana: And most of all, I have boobs! BOOBS!
Mist: We can see that, we're here to get you outta here.
Lana: It took you long enough, the time I was here I couldn't get up to move. I've shat myself five times and wet myself seven.
Mist: 😐
RJ: 😐
*both the Jedi take a deep breath and hold it*
Lana: Guys, guys, I was just kidding. But yeah, I'd really like to go to the bathroom nonetheless. Get me outta here.
Tired Hiker: *clears throat*
Mist: Ahhhh, Darth Hiker.
RJ: We meet again.
Lana: You can't defeat him. He's a shit lord.
Mist: Chancellor Lana....shit lords are our specialty.
Hiker: Your lightsabers, please. Don't want to make a mess in front of the chancellor, do we?
Mist: Yes, actually, we do!
*Mist force-pushes the room until it's a sloppy mess.*
Mist: Suck on that, Darth Wanker.
RJ: Hahahahahaha.
Hiker: I've been looking forward to this.
RJ: I'm sure you have, you sick pedophile.
*Mist's cell rings*
Hiker: What the - ?
RJ: *sigh*
Lana: 🤨
Mist: Hello?
Kayakat: Hey baby!
Mist: *turns bright red*
Kayakat: I saw the picture.
Mist: Oh-h-haaawww.
Kayakat: Yep yep! It's sooo cute!
Kayakat: You look like you're enjo -
*Mist hangs up*
RJ: Who was it.
Mist: Nothing.
Mist: I'll kill her.