Originally posted by soin2cal
Thats very exact 'oncewhite'. I have had a weakness of not being able to stand up for myself ever since i started high school ages and ages ago (when i was at school). Now im in college i still have these problems here a lot and in some ways worse because its whats been left from what happened in school.
It becomes very obvious that it gets to me because i have always showed it getting to me and just cannot help it most the time. I dont get it as much anymore but people still know how to easily run over me. I have always been a softy so its been really hard. Yet i still can stand up for myself very easily at times because i dont take shit from people most the time now. ut saying that...i still admit to having a big weakness of 'not' being able to be strong in front of bullies. Sometimes i wish i was becoming more like them because im sick of not mixing in with people...but people think that would seem a shame to altr myself when i'll come off a lot better than those will at the end of the day.
At least seeing someone now that truly underdstands these problems..should help🙂
My dear.
You already know the hierarchy of society, it's established throughout school, based on looks, athletics (looks or appeal) income, comedic value, and the ones who know how to "work adults" to their favor. If you are in a religious school, the one element that changes is the amount of the dominant faith and they establish their own hierarchy (although some may deny it, it's really a double edged sword, the hierarchy of society provides both structure and elimination).
You describe yourself as a person who is CORPERATIVE, and this puts you on a level of sophistication and class, however, if you don't have a strong social network, you'll find that opposing personalities find you to be a pushover and easy to use, one day in life, those characters REGRET treating someone like you badly, as they too go through users and abusers and scratch their head in wonder, and as they reminisce about their own life, they will either come across your name or disposition, something about you will remind them of something pure that they didn't know how to respect.
You have to learn to establish this respect and boundaries. You can do this through imagination, if you like music, use your favorite songs to PROJECT different problems, picture it as a movie in your head, pause the scenes you dislike, and edit it, and play it back in your head so that the outcome is agreeable to you. Then, ask yourself how can you play a moment of that success the next time you run into those characters. This method of imagination is good for about any emotional hangup you have in your life, it's good to do before work (if you want to "play" your entire work project in your head before you arrive at work), and you can do this on exams, pictures the questions in your head and guessing the answers, the more you use your imagination, as with anything both negative and positive, you'll get better at it. These folks are good at being negative, and they will bring a lot of heart ache in their life, although you think it's you that's receiving all of the grief, they will get their share of the pie as well. If you want a different outcome, change your tactic, that's the best way to stop it. If you are an empath, and find yourself caring for the feelings of others more then the feelings of yourself, know that this is a GIFT, and people will seek you later in life for it, and know that if you allow negativity, you are allowing them to get hurt for hurting you, and you can prevent both hurts by correcting them, this correction is DESIRED by them, that's one of the first ideas to soak in to your heart and mind; the negative people want to be corrected, they desire boundaries, they don't know what to do if you don't give them boundaries, like children out to play and cars are driving by, they need to have someone tell them when they are out of line, and that's your job dear.