katelovespirate
Senior Member
i love this thread. i didn't read everything, but I'll just make my own list anyways. you guys are brilliant and i am totally with you.
1. why the hell would Will risk the girl of his dreams and his future to save his skeezy father who abandoned him to go out with his drinking buddies, and then killed Norrington? Sheesh, his time had come, if Will's character had ANY logical continuity, he would never have risked Elizabeth to save his dad. no way, man.
2. Beckett. His whole character. All those twisty allusions they made about "marks" "ruling the sea" "pirate way coming to an end".... they wasted like 2 hours of screen time getting us all revved up to find out what all that meant, and then they totally SKIPPED IT!!!!!
3. What the HELL happened to Calypso????? That was just it for her? Majorly sloppy character arc, peoples. I can't even call it an arc.
4. (I just realized I am repeating my original review of the film... woops). Will and Elizabeth are fighting all throughout the film--- and betraying each other, and throwing their relationship away to save annoying fathers. So why, why, oh WHY in God's name do they suddenly decide to get married? i know they are both very spontaneous people, but it doesnt work with ANY character or plot arc. the scene was well done, but it doesnt fit with the rest of the film. you know in film 1, will and elizabeth have just had that dramatic fight type thingy below decks with the medallion, and then Will comes back up top and gives the heroic schpiel about "we have to fight" and Elizabeth gives him a sort of proud smile--- and that quick, simple moment is CRUCIAL to understanding how they rebuild their relationship and by the end of the film get engaged. There was NO MOMENT like that in film 3, and it totally wrecked the journey there, at least for me.
5. i cant talk about the bad-fan-fic honeymoon scene with them, or the strange lingerie that apparently pops out of the sea for their honeymoon pleasure, because some people on this site are so talented and have written scenes that are miles beyond that, and don't cheesify what ought to be a dramatic, satisfying, and meaningful conclusion to the "star crossed lovers". I think that random lingerie may be the biggest plot-hole in the film, actually. 😉
6. Jack's story. It doesn't complete. in any way. He's in love with Elizabeth to the point of dying in film 2, then suddenly, he doesn't really care. He's found his bravery and his "good man", then he throws it out the window because of 10 minutes in a desert (please, Jack. suck it up.) THERE IS SO, SO MUCH THEY COULD HAVE DONE HERE~!!!!!! Something, ANYTHING to tie up the tension with Elizabeth (and something that isn't a two line gimmick about it never working out, gag me.) Something, ANYTHING to suggest that the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow is still the same strong, mysterious, swoon-worthy rogue we all fell for originally. Something, ANYTHING to suggest that the most clever thing he is able to do onscreen isn't laying an EGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. wedding dress sank, fate intervened, but apparently, that was a "Just Kidding!" moment.
8. Davy Jones controlled the ocean THROUGH his kraken. HELLO!!!!! Without the kraken, he was like, a scary guy who could walk through walls, and that's it. the Kraken was his power. (that's what film 2 clearly stated, anyways) YET, in film 3, Beckett's achieved his goal and kills the kraken?????? WTF? Makes no sense--- without the kraken, Jones is just another fish face for Beckett to order around. Certainly not capable of any real damage, and definitely not helping Beckett control the sea.
9. Calypso the sea goddess can be imprisoned in a brig? WILL, ELIZABETH, AND JACK can escape those, for crying out loud. Yet she is just stuck there moping???? Once again, it's laughable.
10. Davy Jones doesn't kill Beckett? Why not? With Beckett dead, he could snatch the heart back and make off. MAKES NO SENSE.
11. WORST ONE FOR ME__________ : The ENTIRE royal navy, and the entire EITC fleet, turn around and leave the pirates alone after ONE SHIP is destroyed. Beckett dies and their 3 thousand ships turn around and go home?????? YEAH RIGHT. In any historical context, there would be 2nds and 3rds in command who would instantly step up and assume control, and they all had the same goal, to wipe out the pirates. They obviously had more than enough man-power to accomplish it. They would have stayed and finished the job, in any logical or historical story.
I have more, but I reckon that rant will last for a while. 🙂