Choose your curse:
1. You wake up face to face with a gigantic albino wolf. This wolf follows you around at all times and acts like a normal dog, but everyone reacts to it normally. The wolf easily overpowers any attempts at restraining or killing it, up to and including armored divisions and atomic strikes. The wolf doesn't actually rip apart tanks, it just somehow gets inside them and kills the crew. It does something similar for aircraft and high commands trying to fire missiles. The wolf defends you from all attempts at harming you and can sniff out subtle attacks and poison. The wolf will obey orders no better than a normal poorly trained dog, and refuses to be trained better.
2. Everywhere you go, treasure shows up. Nothing obviously supernatural happens. It just happens to be there. It breaks no physical laws. Locking you in a room that was already searched yields no treasure. The treasure seems to be normal and fortunately is not cursed. Roughly one million Canadian dollars worth of treasure will show up every day, and on some days strange forgotten relics show up as well.
3. As one, all the dead rise as zombies, roughly 100 billion of them. They all seem relatively freshly dead, even though that is impossible. They all claim that you are the True King of the Dead and Son of Cronus and Persephone, reporting that they have been sleeping until they were raised by your incarnation on Earth. They know that they will only live on Earth as long as you do, and therefor make it their objective to make sure you will stay alive as long as possible. They keep you absolutely secure and watched, though they try to make you comfortable.
Which do you choose?
Edit: Hmmmm, 100 billion is a bit much........
I didn't write this btw.
"Mahler caught a glimpse of a Leman Russ with a damaged turret speeding forward toward the Greater Daemon on what was obviously a collision course, well away from the battleline. The Daemon was inhumanly fast, and smashed one of its' claws down on the turret, peeling it open as if it were paper. Its' other claw neatly snipped the barrels from the tank's guns. The thing was on the hull in the blink of an eye, its' lithe limbs working fast as it peeled back the armour, intent on feasting on the souls of the guardsmen inside. It pushed its' head into the hole torn in thehull, its' gurgling laugh running through the psyche of every one of the Death Korps in a contusion of psychic pain. For a moment, time seemed to halt.
With perfect clarity, Mahler saw on of the tank crew turn calmly and discharge his laspistol into the stacked battle cannon shells by the loading breach. The resulting explosion was cataclysmic, a vast mushroom of noise, light and dust. It annihilated not only the tank and the Greater Daemon, but slaughtered hundreds of its' nearby minions. The remainder were in disarray, howling as the ground buckled and split, lesions appearing in a thousand places.
As one, the Death Korps of Krieg advanced."
This is canon.
Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
My god. Look at Final Answer's signature.It brings a tear to my eye. So. ****ing. Manly.
I'm actually playing through Winter Assault atm. General Sturm ftw.
"Enemies of the Imperium, hear me. You have come here to die. The immortal Emperor is with us, and we are invincible. His soldiers will strike you down. His war machines will crush you under their treads. His mighty guns will bring the very sky crashing down upon you. You cannot win."
Rooster Teeth has really outdone itself:
http://roosterteeth.com/home.php
These guys really need to make cut scenes for future Halo games.