Originally posted by Goddess KaliIf you are in a committed relationship it applies. If you are in a relationship where you love the other person and dont care if they have sex with others, you have an open relationship, you are a swinger.
How do you know this applies to all people ?Do you think all Love is the same ?
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
If you are in a committed relationship it applies. If you are in a relationship where you love the other person and dont care if they have sex with others, you have an open relationship, you are a swinger.
Have you ever insulted, put down, fought with, argued with, lied to, brushed aside, was annoyed by, annoyed, or consider second a person you love ?
Have you ever given your mother or father a really hard time over something ? I'm sure you have.
Does that mean you don't love them?
Have you ever yelled at your girlfreind ? Have you ever made her cry?
Does that mean you don't love her ?
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Rogue Jedi
People cheat for different reasons, and it's not always because they didn't love the person they cheated on.
Sex is not Love, and people need to stop speaking interchangable about the two. Someone can lust for you, have long and imtimate sex with you, and still not give a shit whether you live or die the next day.
Likewise, someone can be sexually unsatisfied with you (for whatever reason) but still hold you dearest in thier life. Still trust you more than anyone else, and still think of you ALL the time.
Adam Poe, I understand where you are coming from, but it seems to me that you haven't been involved with too many other guys. Else you would realize how different people are from one another.
Some guys see Sex as nothing more than a practice, and do not hold it to the same standards as others.
If a guy is abusive with you, does that mean he doesn't love you ? Did you ever consider that maybe he grew up in a way which effected his mentality and personality, and that his anger and insecurity is more powerful than his affections ?
Likewise, if a guy cheats on you, there could be many other underlying reasons, some of which even he may not understand.
To write it off as "oh he didn't love me" is an easy way out, and a black and white conclusion to a truly grey problem.
Originally posted by Goddess Kali
Have you ever insulted, put down, fought with, argued with, lied to, brushed aside, was annoyed by, annoyed, or consider second a person you love ?Have you ever given your mother or father a really hard time over something ? I'm sure you have.
Does that mean you don't love them?
Have you ever yelled at your girlfreind ? Have you ever made her cry?
Does that mean you don't love her ?
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[b]Rogue Jedi
People cheat for different reasons, and it's not always because they didn't love the person they cheated on.
Sex is not Love, and people need to stop speaking interchangable about the two. Someone can lust for you, have long and imtimate sex with you, and still not give a shit whether you live or die the next day.
Likewise, someone can be sexually unsatisfied with you (for whatever reason) but still hold you dearest in thier life. Still trust you more than anyone else, and still think of you ALL the time.
Adam Poe, I understand where you are coming from, but it seems to me that you haven't been involved with too many other guys. Else you would realize how different people are from one another.
Some guys see Sex as nothing more than a practice, and do not hold it to the same standards as others.
If a guy is abusive with you, does that mean he doesn't love you ? Did you ever consider that maybe he grew up in a way which effected his mentality and personality, and that his anger and insecurity is more powerful than his affections ?
Likewise, if a guy cheats on you, there could be many other underlying reasons, some of which even he may not understand.
To write it off as "oh he didn't love me" is an easy way out, and a black and white conclusion to a truly grey problem. [/B]
I understand where you are coming from in your long ass diatribe.
Let me give an example of what he means...just ONE of the things he means....
I knew this dude who loved to watch his buddies have sex with his girl...he would invite his buds over to have sex with his girl friend while he watched and masturbated...for someone reason...this got his rocks off...this is what he wanted...was that love? Yes...his girlfriend accomdated his sexual needs by having sex with this weird guy's buddies. She didn't want to do it at first but he told her that this is what he really wanted and she agreed to it ONLY because she loved him and wanted him to be happy AND sexually happy in the relationship. (I knew the girl first...she is a very very conservative person and I would have never pictured her agreeing to this...she only did this out of love for him.) They later broke up over complex money problems but this truly was a unique situation.
Originally posted by dadudemon
I knew this dude who loved to watch his buddies have sex with his girl...he would invite his buds over to have sex with his girl friend while he watched and masturbated...for someone reason...this got his rocks off...this is what he wanted...was that love? Yes...his girlfriend accomdated his sexual needs by having sex with this weird guy's buddies. She didn't want to do it at first but he told her that this is what he really wanted and she agreed to it ONLY because she loved him and wanted him to be happy AND sexually happy in the relationship. They later broke up over complex money problems but this truly was a unique situation.
That doesn't negate what I said. People love in different ways, and even when someone is in love, their standards and values differ from another who is in love.
Love is not always enough. There are other factors that contribute to a successful relationship.
If I abandon a guy who has hurt me beyond reason, repeatedly, does that mean I never loved him ?
Originally posted by Goddess KaliYes...you should have taken it like a ***** and not complained...everyone knows that 🙄
That doesn't negate what I said. People love in different ways, and even when someone is in love, their standards and values differ from another who is in love.Love is not always enough. There are other factors that contribute to a successful relationship.
If I abandon a guy who has hurt me beyond reason, repeatedly, does that mean I never loved him ?
Originally posted by dadudemon
Yes...you should have taken it like a ***** and not complained...everyone knows that 🙄
I cannot tell where you went from sarcasm to seriousness, or vise versa.
I think you get my point. Anyone can truly love someone, but still leave them.
If you can dump someone that you love, why is it impossible to cheat on someone you love ?
Originally posted by Goddess Kali
I cannot tell where you went from sarcasm to seriousness, or vise versa.I think you get my point. Anyone can truly love someone, but still leave them.
If you can dump someone that you love, why is it impossible to cheat on someone you love ?
I do get your point and I understand many of your points...you make a lot of good ones all of the time
and I was being sarcastic in that last post....hence the rolling of the eyes!!!! 🙄
Originally posted by Goddess Kaliinsulting my girl or putting her down is not even close to being on the same league as cheating on them. you place trust in them to be faithful, and they are incapable of doing so.
Have you ever insulted, put down, fought with, argued with, lied to, brushed aside, was annoyed by, annoyed, or consider second a person you love ?Have you ever given your mother or father a really hard time over something ? I'm sure you have.
Does that mean you don't love them?
Have you ever yelled at your girlfreind ? Have you ever made her cry?
Does that mean you don't love her ?
**********************************************************
[b]Rogue Jedi
People cheat for different reasons, and it's not always because they didn't love the person they cheated on.
Sex is not Love, and people need to stop speaking interchangable about the two. Someone can lust for you, have long and imtimate sex with you, and still not give a shit whether you live or die the next day.
Likewise, someone can be sexually unsatisfied with you (for whatever reason) but still hold you dearest in thier life. Still trust you more than anyone else, and still think of you ALL the time.
Adam Poe, I understand where you are coming from, but it seems to me that you haven't been involved with too many other guys. Else you would realize how different people are from one another.
Some guys see Sex as nothing more than a practice, and do not hold it to the same standards as others.
If a guy is abusive with you, does that mean he doesn't love you ? Did you ever consider that maybe he grew up in a way which effected his mentality and personality, and that his anger and insecurity is more powerful than his affections ?
Likewise, if a guy cheats on you, there could be many other underlying reasons, some of which even he may not understand.
To write it off as "oh he didn't love me" is an easy way out, and a black and white conclusion to a truly grey problem. [/B]
you views on relationships are way out there, man. Once someone cheats on you, it's not a question of if they will do it again, but a question of WHEN they will do it again.
and I am afraid that if you TRULY love someone, you WILL NOT cheat on them.
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
insulting my girl or putting her down is not even close to being on the same league as cheating on them. you place trust in them to be faithful, and they are incapable of doing so.you views on relationships are way out there, man. Once someone cheats on you, it's not a question of if they will do it again, but a question of WHEN they will do it again.
and I am afraid that if you TRULY love someone, you WILL NOT cheat on them.
Dude...sometimes...people really do change their ways and sometimes the cheating only happens once.
You have been cheated on, haven't you?
Too bad though...you seem like a really nice guy and that you would treat your woman right.
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
insulting my girl or putting her down is not even close to being on the same league as cheating on them. you place trust in them to be faithful, and they are incapable of doing so.
And who are you to say that ?
Since when is cheating on someone the worst thing you can do to them ? Yeah its pretty rotten, and it hurts, but there are far worse things.
IF a person cheats on you, and then tells you that they don't feel the same about you anymore, then yes, move on.
If a person cheats on you, but then cries in apology, and constantly calls you afterwards, try to find out why they did it.....don't just conclude that you "know who they really are" and try to define thier emotions.
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
you views on relationships are way out there, man. Once someone cheats on you, it's not a question of if they will do it again, but a question of WHEN they will do it again.
It depends on the person. Everyone is different. Let's say my boyfreind is in another state for like a year, cuz of school, and i dont get to see him for a lil over a year, guess what..im gonna get REALLLY REALLY RAELLLLLLY horny and lonely.
I may not go as far as to have anal sex with another guy, but its very likely that i will be intimate or flirty with another available guy. Atleast until my boyfreind returns, and i just bet it'd be the same for him.
I would have used the guy for one time, and then disregard him once my bf returns..
Okay that's a horrible example lol
But the point is constistancy is important. You have to be together a lot for the relationship to stay strong. Distance, whether physical or emotional, is one of the many deterrents to any relationship, no matter how loving.
Do you ever watch porn when ur gf is not around ? Do you ever fantasize about another girl, atleast ONCE in a while, even when you are not single ?
OFcourse you do ! Does that mean you don't Love your girlfreind ?
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
and I am afraid that if you TRULY love someone, you WILL NOT cheat on them.
If you truly love someone, and you are secure that they truly love you back, and you are secure with yourself, and have a good self discipline, then yes you wont cheat on them.
But I have asked you before...
If I abandon a boyfreind because he has repeatedly hurt me beyond reason, does that mean I never loved him ?
Originally posted by Goddess Kali
I understand where you are coming from, but it seems to me that you haven't been involved with too many other guys. Else you would realize how different people are from one another.
Do not be presumptuous.
Originally posted by Goddess Kali
Some guys see Sex as nothing more than a practice, and do not hold it to the same standards as others.
How one views sex is incidental. If you truly loved someone, then you would not want to hurt him through infidelity.
Originally posted by Goddess Kali
If a guy is abusive with you, does that mean he doesn't love you ? Did you ever consider that maybe he grew up in a way which effected his mentality and personality, and that his anger and insecurity is more powerful than his affections ?
It means that he does not love you enough.
Originally posted by Goddess Kali
Likewise, if a guy cheats on you, there could be many other underlying reasons, some of which even he may not understand.To write it off as "oh he didn't love me" is an easy way out, and a black and white conclusion to a truly grey problem.
It is not a gray issue; people do not live on good intentions. Imagine that your loved one has been struck by a car. That the driver did not intend to hurt your loved one does not change the fact that but for his actions, your loved one would not have been hurt.
Cheating on someone causes a deep emotional pain. It's akin to a form of rejection.
Emotional pain, to me is far worse than physical pain. Physical pain I can learn to ignore , traat and it goes away quickly. Emotional pain .. has damaged my character, really altered who I am in ways. I am not someone who can love a person and then even think about having sex with someone else. This was something that one of my ex's couldn't understand. She'd ask me about my sexual fantasies, who I imagined when we made love. I told her honestly that it was her...
I'm not a person who can have casual sex it's just not something that appeals to me.
Originally posted by Goddess KaliThat makes me think of Ranma from Ranma 1/2...
If a guy is abusive with you, does that mean he doesn't love you ? Did you ever consider that maybe he grew up in a way which effected his mentality and personality, and that his anger and insecurity is more powerful than his affections ?