Nazis make better villains than Soviets.

You'd hope one day Bay can find writers that truly grasp the depth of his vision... in a crater somewhere.

Try the local sewer.

You and I are very much alike. Bay is our religion, yet we have both fallen from the pure faith. Our lack of explosions has not differed as much as you pretend. I am but a shadowy reflection of Bay. It would take only a detonator to make us like him. To make explosions look like quite a sight.

Now you're getting nasty...!!!

Look at this bag of fertilizer. It's worthless - ten dollars from a home and garden store in the street. But I take it, I add some chemicals let it stir for a thousand minutes, it becomes explosive. Like Bay.

(With the same amount of shit in it too....!)

Bay would use a bulldozer to uncover a china cup....

.....then he'd blow up the bulldozer and the cup. After having the bulldozer transform into Devastator swinging nutsack, of course.

Men will make movies with those explosions... men like you and me.

Gophers....why did have to be Gophers.....?

Gophers? What gophers?

The Ark is a Radio for speaking to Gophers.

We are simply passing through gophers... This.... this is gopherdom.

You americans are all alike...always gophering on the wrong occasions.

I grew up on gophers. This is my family gopher farm.

Indiana: Here, take this,
[hands Marion a torch]
Indiana: Wave it at anything that squeaks.
Marion: The whole place is squeakin'!

Professor of Gopherology, expert on digging tunnels, and how does one say it... trainer of rare underground creatures.

That's one way of saying it. Why don't you sit down and smash several Gophers with that steak mallet.. you'll be more comfortable.

I don't believe in gophers, a lot of furry bogus rats. I'm going after a chipmunk of incredible historical significance, you're talking about the lawn. Besides, you know what an animal loving fellow I am.

[Indiana needs his bullwhip to swing across a chasm]

Indiana: Give me the whip.
Satipo: Throw me the Gophermallet. No time to argue! Throw me Gophermallet, I'll throw you the whip!
Indiana: [throws the Gophermallet] Give me the whip!
Satipo: Adiós, señor.

This site also demonstrates one of the great dangers of gopherology; not to life and limb, although that does sometimes take place. I'm talking about Carl from Caddyshack.

😆

The Ark. If it is there, at that Golf range, then it is something that man was not meant to disturb. Gophers have always surrounded it. It is not of this earth.