The ''not politically correct'' joke thread

Started by The Grey Fox5 pages

Where do you send Jewish kids with A.D.D.?

To Concentration camps

What's a Jew's ultimate dilemma?

Free pork.

Originally posted by ~Wålshy~
this thread was made for sickipedia haermm
Agreed biscuits

How come the movie "White Men Can't Jump" isn't racist but, when I try to make a movie called "Black Men Can't Get Jobs", I get called a racist?

A lady approaches her rabbi and tells him, "Rabbi, I have
a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only
know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the rabbi inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want
to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the rabbi exclaimed, "but I have a
solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots
over to my house and I will put them with my two male
talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read Hebrew.
My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that
terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise
and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the rabbi's house.
His two male parrots are wearing tiny yamulkes and praying in
their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots
and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and
exclaims, "Put away the siddurs! Our prayers have been answered!"

Paedophiles are ****ing immature arseholes

I'm not one of those guys who disappears right after sex. I like to spend some time with them afterwards, have a bit of a cuddle, stroke their hair and make it absolutely clear what I'll do to them if they tell their parents.

Awful lot of honkeys in here

The Rabbi and his wife were cleaning up the house. The Rabbi came across a
box he didn't recognize. His wife told him to leave it alone, it was
personal.

One day, she was out and his curiousity got the better of him. He opened
the box and inside he found 3 eggs and $2000. When his wife came home, he
admitted that he had opened the box and asked her to explain the contents
to him.

She told him, every time he had a bad sermon, she would put an egg in the
box. He thought to himself, "In twenty years, only three bad sermons,
that's not bad." His wife continued, "And every time I got a dozen eggs,
I would sell them for $1."

Women are like squaring numbers.

If they are under 16, just do them in your head.

Originally posted by The Grey Fox
I'm not one of those guys who disappears right after sex. I like to spend some time with them afterwards, have a bit of a cuddle, stroke their hair and make it absolutely clear what I'll do to them if they tell their parents.

That was putrid 😛

I had my dreams crushed yesterday.
It turns out the newspaper headline "Village still looking for paedophile" wasn't a vacancy.

Originally posted by Mandos
That was putrid 😛
biscuits Good though.

I know a Jewish bloke who cries every time he thinks about his ancestors being detained in the concentration camps.

He just can't get over all that unpaid work they did.

My parents went to New York on the 11th of September and all I got back was this bloody T-shirt.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

New Yorkers. 110 stories in 10 seconds.

A priest, a paedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar...

He orders a drink.

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne doesn't come on an 8 year old boy's face.

I've just been to a Muslim birthday party.

The musical chairs was a bit slow but, **** me, the pass the parcel was quick!

Originally posted by Mandos
A lady approaches her rabbi and tells him, "Rabbi, I have
a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only
know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the rabbi inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want
to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the rabbi exclaimed, "but I have a
solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots
over to my house and I will put them with my two male
talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read Hebrew.
My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that
terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise
and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the rabbi's house.
His two male parrots are wearing tiny yamulkes and praying in
their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots
and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and
exclaims, "Put away the siddurs! Our prayers have been answered!"

My grandpa told that joke when I was a kid.

I see that the Catholic Church has now revised the "Seven Deadly Sins" to include "Hoarding Great Wealth".

Lucky for them they haven't included Hypocrisy.