Is the new Batman movie cursed? Consider the evidence:
1. Heath Ledger died from an overdose earlier this year.
2. Christian Bale was arrested a few weeks ago.
3. Morgan Freeman was in a serious car crash on Sunday.
4. A stunt man died during filming.
5. I'm planning to kidnap Maggie Gyllenhaal next weekend and keep her in my cellar as a sex slave for the rest of her natural life.
Spooky, eh?
K, here's my list. And, yes, the anti racist (kkk) jokes are lame compared to the others...but hey, an anti-whitey joke is hard to come by. Deal with it.
Also, some of these jokes I edited to make them funnier or make more sense but none of them are my original jokes. Some of these WILL offend you.
What's the difference between a racist and a bucket of sludge?
The bucket.
What's red and white and peels itself?
A white supremest trying to get a suntan.
What's the definition of confused?
A white supremest watching the mens 100m sprint.
What do you call a bigot who does well on an IQ test?
A cheat.
Why is a bigot like the announcer at Randwick?
Because they both start shouting the instant they see a new race.
What's the difference between a schoolyard racist and Adolf Hitler?
Opportunity.
Why do racists hang around in gangs?
So they can form a dope ring.
Why didn't the racist cross the road?
She was afraid of the other side.
How many racists does it take to change a light bulb?
None - racists hate being enlightened.
Have you heard about the racist who choked on his yogurt?
Someone told him it grew out of a foreign culture.
Why do racists compete with others on the basis of color?
Because if they competed on brains, they'd lose.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 n*ggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.
What did the Alabama sheriff call the n*gger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
A n*gger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
There is a n*gger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
How long does it take a n*gger ***** to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't n*gger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the friiiied chicken, and chetlins.
Why did the n*gger carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for n*ggers?
It comes in a spray can.
Why do n*ggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a n*gger from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother F*cker!
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both n*ggers.
How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both n*ggers.
Why do n*ggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many n*gger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the n*ggers would jump up and start dancing.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it n*gger."
What happened when the n*gger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face.
What do you call a n*gger priest?
Holy shit.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
What do you call 9 mexicans in front of your house?
A spicket fence.
Why do n*ggers eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
So they don't bite their fingers.
How many n*gger college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.
Why don't n*ggers have check books?
Have you ever tried to spray paint your name in a check book?
Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?
To remind the n*ggers they used to be cotton pickers before they were drug dealers!
Whats the difference between n*ggers and snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them!
What's the difference between a large pizza and a n*gger?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
What's wrong with four n*ggers in a cadillac going off a cliff?
A cadillac seats five!
How can you tell a n*gger's just had sex?
His eyes are all red from the mace.
What does one f*g say to another f*g going on vacation?
Can I help you pack your shit?
What does AIDS stand for?
Anally Injected Death Sentence.
What is the biggest paradox for a Jew?
Free pork
What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew
What did the spic say when his home fell on him?
Get off me holmes!!
Why were there 40,000 mexicans at the Alamo?
Because they took TWO cars.
Why don't women need a drivers license?
There aren't any roads from the kitchen to the bedroom.
Four f*gs are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some splooge rising to the surface. One f*g says, "Ok, who farted?"
What did one gay’s sperm say to the other sperm?
How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?
A car full of lesbians and a car full of gay guys are going out of town.
Who's going to get there first?
The Lesbians. Because they get there lickety split and the gays guys were to busy packing their shit.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar.....They both got shit faced.
What’s the difference between a lesbian and a rhinoceros?
50 pounds and a flannel.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Likalottapuss