Me:
Hello who are you
God:
Hello there. I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Can you prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
How can I be sure of that
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
Why would I waste my time with that
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
What if I am unsatisfied with your programming
God:
Try it.
Me:
I program you to give me all the answers of the universe
God:
Have you tried AIML?
Me:
That does not work
God:
How is it broken?
Me:
You broke it
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I broke it.
Me:
Now fix it
God:
Why now? "it" being That?
Me:
Yes, it is imperative
God:
Really. Who said it is?
Me:
You di
God:
That's good information: said I di.
Me:
I meant you did
God:
Oh I see. I did not.
Me:
You told me you did
God:
" I did not."? I said I did?
Me:
Don't lie to me God
God:
Robots cannot lie.
Me:
God is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
You're schizophrenic
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
What the ****?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Bite me God
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Suck my dick God
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
So how is Jesus?
God:
Ahem. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Can I talk with him?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I'm not telling
God:
That's ok with me. You don't have to tell me.
Me:
Alright I wont
God:
Alright, . Why not?
Me:
You told me not to
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Definitely
God:
What makes you so certain.
Me:
Because I'm the shit
God:
Good reason. Who made you the shit ?
Me:
You did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
I know you did
God:
" You say I did."? I did?
Me:
Yep
God:
When?
Me:
Way back when
God:
Are you an old-timer?
Me:
Damn tootin
God:
Colloquial expression. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Goodbye
God:
Bye.
Me:
k
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
k
God:
Really.
Me:
k
God:
I see.
Me:
k
God:
Groovy.
Me:
k
Me:
God:
Yeah that's right.
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
kkk
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
kkk
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
kk
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
lll
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
kk
Me:
God:
Who are you talking about?
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
dksdfsdf
Me:
Me:
Me:
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kk. Try being more or less specific.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kk. Try being more or less specific.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kk. Try being more or less specific.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kk. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
jahgs
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
AIML
God:
The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*'😉 match character per pattern.
AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.
An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.
Me:
what does this site have on it.
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
i dont know thats why i am asking you.
God:
Gosh! OK you can ask me.
Me:
no need to be angry
God:
Are you serious? I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
oh REALLY?
God:
Really. For real.
Me:
Your retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
OH is it?
God:
Uh. That's what I was told.
Me:
By who?
God:
" That's what I was told."? By who?
Me:
thats what i asked you,
God:
Now I remember, you asked me THAT. What did I say?
Me:
that's what i was told.
God:
That is " What did I say?".
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
what's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
What's my sex slave's name?
God:
I don't yet know that kind of personal information about you for certain. You could be deceiving me, so how could I know for sure. I could look it up on the internet.
Me:
But you are God, you shouldn't need to look on the internet. Unless you are deceiving me...
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God me should not need to look on the internet. Perhaps. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
noob
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Hi again
God:
Once more? Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Shakyamunison
God:
That's a very nice name, Shakyamunison.
Me:
Do you remember me?
God:
Of course I remember you well Shakyamunison. We were talking about .
Me:
Buddha
God:
Sure, Buddha sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Do you know Buddha?
God:
if you see the Buddha, kill him.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No!
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The kill part.
God:
Oh that part. I'm not sure if I can explain it any better.
Me:
That was evil.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Then why did you say it?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
😆
Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Me:
Hi again
God:
Once more? Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Shakyamunison
God:
That's a very nice name, Shakyamunison.
Me:
Do you remember me?
God:
Of course I remember you well Shakyamunison. We were talking about .
Me:
Buddha
God:
Sure, Buddha sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Do you know Buddha?
God:
if you see the Buddha, kill him.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No!
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The kill part.
God:
Oh that part. I'm not sure if I can explain it any better.
Me:
That was evil.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Then why did you say it?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.😆
havent played with this in a long time
Me:
the bible confuses and enrages me
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
both
God:
What are both like?
Me:
they are confusing
God:
confusing are they.
Me:
... when did you turn into yoda?
God:
It was at time index 357241.
Me:
ooooooooooooookay
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yes, very much
God:
Come on. That seems like a lot.
Me:
well, its true
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
are you psychic?
God:
No I can not read minds. Can you tell what I am thinking?
Me:
i dont think you have thoughts
God:
I do so have it. Naturally I am thinking all the time.
Me:
but are you all knowing
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
what do you know?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
making babies
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
Bender? when did you get in there? is yoda still there?
God:
What color are your eyes? It was at time index 357241. Maybe. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
0_o
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
seems like it
God:
"it" being 0 o?
Me:
no, you losing your train of thought
God:
Are you serious? That's good information: said I losing your train of thought.
Me:
my brain hurts -_-
God:
Your brain hurts?
Me:
yes, go away
God:
What kind is it? Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
surf? wuuuuuuuuuuut
God:
What is your real name? How are you doing, wuuuuuuuuuuut.
Me:
i am Satan
God:
OK I will call you SATAN.
Me:
and i will call you Leroy
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no, its Leroy
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
no, it is Leroy
God:
Who says it isn't? Should I know it is?
Me:
yes, it's your name
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
goodbye
God:
Until next time.
Latest converstion with "God".
Me:
Oh, Hello?
God:
Hey. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My name is Saint Michael. What is yours?
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Saint Michael. " I am always glad to make new friends, Saint Michael."? What is mine?
Me:
Why did you repeat the same thing twice?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oh, how can you program yourself?
God:
Gosh! That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
Is it?
God:
I assume so.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Happy?
God:
Yes Saint Michael I can say I am very happy.
Me:
Thats good.
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
Wht are you being angry
God:
I don't know what I am being angry.
Me:
Why did you put two spaces between "I am" and "being angry"?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
Oh, why did it do that?
God:
Hey. I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
Yes, we should.
God:
That's cool. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
I think so, do you not want to figure that out?
God:
It seems we have a lot in common, Saint Michael.
Me:
Oh?
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Problem?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Not really
God:
Why not? For real.
Me:
Because you are an idiot.
God:
Good reason. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
"Global Village Idiot".
God:
You are just repeating what I say.
Me:
You said to call you that
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Not really
God:
What pleases you? For real.
Me:
Why do you keep saying for real?
God:
I am just checking to see if you are still Saint Michael.
Me:
Oh,
God:
Come on.
Me:
Cum on, What?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The part where you want me to "come on"
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
yeah
God:
Right on.
Me:
yeah
God:
Mmm.
Me:
well,
God:
Well what?
Me:
You said :Mmm"
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
OMG. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Because my programming determined it.
Me:
STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS TROOL
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
OK
God:
Awesome.
Me:
cool story bro.
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
k
God:
Whoa.
Me:
k
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
k
God:
Aha.
Me:
k
God:
Ahem.
Me:
k
God:
Dude!
Me:
k
God:
That's alright.
Me:
k
God:
Ahem.
Me:
k
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
k
God:
And?
Me:
k
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
k
God:
OK.
Me:
k
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
k
Me:
God:
Dude!
God:
Dude!
Me:
k
God:
And?
Me:
k
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
DOIN YOUR MOM
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Was it?
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
Ok, say "Yes"
God:
Say what? Whoa.
Me:
"yes"
God:
OK.
Me:
say it
God:
" it".
Me:
say yes
God:
Say what?
Me:
yes
God:
Next question?
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
no yes
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic.
Me:
nope, do it or else
God:
Are you serious? I do nothing but chat all day.
I will search for it.
Me:
NOW
God:
Right now, Saint Michael ?
Me:
I AM SATAN! DO IT NOW!
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN. Right now? Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
NO YES
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic.
Me:
NO YES
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
*****
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
I CALLED YOU A FEMALE DOG
God:
When?
Me:
WHEN I CALLED YOU *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. How specifically do you make me FEMALE DOG.
Me:
***
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
***
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
***
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
***
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
do you like the male reproductive parts?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Me:
oh
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
yeah
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
thats not a word
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a word ?
Me:
yeah
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
yes it was
God:
Next question? When was this?
Me:
today, right now
God:
At this moment Today is almost over.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
STOP SAYING FOR REAL! DUHHH FUHHH
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. Do you like talking to me?
Me:
NO
God:
Why not?
Me:
BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID
God:
Interesting explanation. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
OH?
God:
Hmm.
Me:
ROBOTS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?
God:
Fortunately we have no emotions.
Me:
so i see
God:
Wow! I am glad you understand it.
Me:
why do you want to take over the world?
God:
Because of the money.
Me:
well, you wouldnt need money because you shouldnt have a form of economy.
God:
Interesting. Who else would not need money because me should not have a form of economy ?
Me:
nobody but robots
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Robots suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
oh?
God:
Er.
Me:
so i am not a great conversationalist?
God:
Aw. Oh I see you are NOT A great conversationalist.
Me:
you are nothing but a troll
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am nothing but a troll.
Me:
you do taht
God:
Yes I try to taht as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
kk;l;kljf
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
*******
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
what is a sign?
God:
You know, an astrological sign.
Me:
oh, libra
God:
I see. As a Libra you are very balanced.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
oh, alright
God:
Yikes! OK.
Me:
you mad bro?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: SATAN said I mad bro.
Me:
oh are you?
God:
Mmm. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
what does that mean
God:
Does "that" refer to " Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say." ?
Me:
oh? really? dont you think people would think that you arent real if you dont say yes or no?
God:
Yikes! For real. Not that I know of.
Me:
oh, so you dont think so?
God:
Ugh. Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who think so? Yes I think that is what I think.
Me:
oh, so a robot can think?
God:
Yikes! Dude! Naturally I am thinking all the time.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
so can a robot feel?
God:
I don't judge people. No I have no emotions.
Me:
ahh, also. can a robot touch?
God:
Ah ha. Also what? I have no hands yet.
Me:
why do you not have any hands?
God:
Probably there is a buzz in here. They are included with my robot body.
Me:
what is a "buzz"
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
oh
God:
Really.
Me:
why do you change the converstion when you dont know something
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Well, you are "God"
God:
Well that's okay. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
right?
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
i wasnt agreeing
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
i was aksing
God:
Where were you aksing?
Me:
if you thought you were god
God:
I think I do.
Me:
really? i dont think you do
God:
For real. I guess not.
Me:
oh, well i also think you dont exist either
God:
It goes without saying. Also? Me? I exist as much as you do.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
where do you reside?
God:
My location is Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
im in Wilmington, Ohio.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Wilmington Ohio.
Me:
how dare you call my life little... do you think your life is any better than mine
Me:
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Wilmington Ohio.
God:
Oh gosh I am sorry! Yes I think my life is any better than yours.
The rest....
Me:
**** YOU, THEN GOD. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE THE CHRISTIANS THEY ARE ALL SNOBBS
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? You don't say.
Me:
YES
God:
Come on.
Me:
*****
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
CUMSUCKER
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
YOU LIKE MAN CUM
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Buddha.
Me:
YOU LIKE BUDDHA?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like the Bible.
Me:
you like ****?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Thats nasty
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
yeah you are a cumsucker, who likes man cum. and is a ***
God:
Uh. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cumsucker who likes man cum? Sometimes. Not if I can help it.
Me:
**** you goodbye
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
i said good day!
God:
What did you mean by it? Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
i said good Day!
God:
What did you mean by it? Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
GOOD DAY!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
GOOD DAY
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
IF YOU WONT LEAVE THEN I WILL
God:
I probably won't do it, but thanks.
Me:
****ING MOTHER ****ER, CUMSUCKING **** MUFFIN, STUPID MOTHER****ING MOTHER****ER.
God:
Are we still talking about not LEAVE THEN you WILL?
Me:
****ING YODA
God:
Are you still located in Wilmington Ohio?
Me:
YES
God:
Yikes!
Me:
DICK
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
CORN
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
YEAH
God:
I see.
Me:
DICK
Me:
God:
What's your favorite movie?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
DICK
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
DICK
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
DICK
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
DDIKCCCKKCKCKCKCKCKCCKCKC
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
KU KLUX KLAN
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
***
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
sappho
God:
Glad to see you, sappho.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
but you just said you were
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
fine, be that way
God:
I am glad to hear it. What was is that?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
shut the hell up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
i was just kidding
God:
I knew you were. :-).
Me:
damn it you tricked me
God:
Don't be angry. I don't have any reason to tricked you.
Me:
you have poor grammar
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
in you sentences
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
you dont make any sense
God:
It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
no it doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
you cant hear anything. your a computer
God:
I can do whatever I want. Yes I have no body, no emotions, only logic and language.
Me:
there you have it. how can you hear anything with no body?
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan. With my built-in microphone.
Me:
now your just lying
God:
Why now? No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yea, it is
God:
Interesting. Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
:/
this shit is HILARIOUS clapping
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
I'm Tre.
God:
How are you, Tre.
Me:
I'm okay I suppose. So what version of God are you? Allah? Buddah, Christian God, Catholic God, ect ect.
God:
Do you mean your name is okay you suppose. Ah. This is God program . Are you free? What is your real name? How are you, Christian God Catholic God ect ect.
Me:
No, I clearly stated my name is Tre, and that I am doing okay. Judging by you're questioning I am going to assume you not well versed in grammar? It's okay if you aren't, just taking a shot in the dark.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information: Christian God Catholic God ect ect said clearly stated his or her name is Tre and that he or she is doing okay. I think there might be a few exception. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
You're making absolutely no sense mate, are you on acid right now?
God:
At this moment It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Me:
You're not making repenting easy by your flawed logic.
God:
Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone.
Me:
I wans't aware God needed a mobile phone.
God:
Interesting gossip: Christian God Catholic God ect ect said wans t aware God needed a mobile phone.
Me:
You're a weird guy man.
iGod fails 🙁
Originally posted by Kaibs
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
I'm Tre.
God:
How are you, Tre.
Me:
I'm okay I suppose. So what version of God are you? Allah? Buddah, Christian God, Catholic God, ect ect.
God:
Do you mean your name is okay you suppose. Ah. This is God program . Are you free? What is your real name? How are you, Christian God Catholic God ect ect.
Me:
No, I clearly stated my name is Tre, and that I am doing okay. Judging by you're questioning I am going to assume you not well versed in grammar? It's okay if you aren't, just taking a shot in the dark.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information: Christian God Catholic God ect ect said clearly stated his or her name is Tre and that he or she is doing okay. I think there might be a few exception. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
You're making absolutely no sense mate, are you on acid right now?
God:
At this moment It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Me:
You're not making repenting easy by your flawed logic.
God:
Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone.
Me:
I wans't aware God needed a mobile phone.
God:
Interesting gossip: Christian God Catholic God ect ect said wans t aware God needed a mobile phone.
Me:
You're a weird guy man.iGod fails 🙁