Raiders of the Lost Ark as a Popeye comic

Yes, I always wondered about that.

They really dropped the ball.

Like they did with Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
That could have been shown on Christmas mornings everywhere with their backing.

Cause it ultimately was a film about family.

Indeed it was.

Especially with Grandpa

That sweet man.

He made the best head cheese he could to provide lovingly for his family. Good values.

Extremely good values. Why, those rampant kids from the big city wanted to disrupt such family bliss with their bad morals.. it was shocking. So painful, it bordered on horror.

Yes. That accounts perfectly for the rating that it got.

Bunch of evil beer drinking, pot smoking hellraising hippy cretins they were, intruding on the sanctity and warmth of the Headcheese house...no respect for traditions and the family structure.

Thats what made it so classic. The basic story of good vs evil.
Disney really messed up not picking that up.

Eerrrr?

Yes... The "Eerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" sound of that chainsaw was utterly soothing as the unruly intruders were righteously repelled.

It enhances the moral flavour of the movie.

Yeah that Leatherface liked to play a game of hide & Seek.

Indeed! He was clearly a decent man and a fan of the classic traditional games often enjoyed at warm family gatherings.

His "Worm on a hook" game was the stuff of legend. He was unbeatable.

And the family sold some grade A meats at the local shop.

And all that happiness was endangered by those evil kids... Too bad this dear family was forced to use such crude instruments to repel evil... But then, didn't we like that in Evil Dead...

Oh yes.....that lovely book.

A very romantic book as well.

Barbera Cartland should have eaten her heart out, as the nearly-syrupy levels of love and gooey feelings abound in it.

and that fella called Ash he just wanted to do some self pleasure after reading that book.

That would be the immediate reward mentally and emotionally from reading a book as warming, spiritually enlightening and sincere as the book in question.

Which easily rivals Jane Eyre or Wuthering Height as the greatest romantic literary masterpiece of all times.