Twilight vs. Hancock

John Hancock faces off against the Twilight vampires and the Wolf pack. (All Members included.) No restrictions, anything goes.

Fight takes place at night, in a huge open area surrounded by woods.
Twilight on one side, Hancock on the other. 500 meters apart.

Who wins?

Well....maybe when Alec does something in the films the Vampires might stand a catch. Right now though, Hancock will kill 'em. Except for perhaps Jane or Jasper.

Hancock speedblitzes most of them as soon as the match starts.

I hate to say it, but Jane might actually win it for Twilight.

I think Hancock would wipe the floor with everyone in Twilight as long as he doesnt have a hangover

Originally posted by Placidity
I hate to say it, but Jane might actually win it for Twilight.

She can hurt Hancock but much beyond that they can't really do anything to him.

Originally posted by TheAuraAngel
She can hurt Hancock but much beyond that they can't really do anything to him.

That depends if you think they can pierce his skin with their teeth.

The TwiVamps couldn't possibly compete with HAncock's speed, strength and durability.

Originally posted by the ninjak
The TwiVamps couldn't possibly compete with HAncock's speed, strength and durability.

Thats why I said Jane is the only one that could bring him down. Yet to hear arguments for this.

Originally posted by Placidity
That depends if you think they can pierce his skin with their teeth.

He had no problem with .50 caliber bullets and was able to casually deflect an RPG with his hand. That and taking hits from a more powerful version of himself while being weakened.

Don't see how vampire teeth are going to damage him.

Originally posted by Placidity
That depends if you think they can pierce his skin with their teeth.

Will their teeth cut their own rectums up, when their heads go up each other's arses...?

Well, there is Renata. All she has to do is touch a person and all physical attacks really don't work for whatever's in that shield over her and her "protected."

Which brings up another point: I'm almost certain that Twilight's wrtier, Meyer, stole that idea from Harry Potter's writer, Rowling: it functions JUST like an anti-muggle shield charm. WTF?

Honestly, I don't know what to say. I wanted to knee-jerk and say that it's a land-slide victory for Hancock.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Will their teeth cut their own rectums up, when their heads go up each other's arses...?

😆 😆 😆

Originally posted by Placidity
Thats why I said Jane is the only one that could bring him down. Yet to hear arguments for this.

Hancock kills them before they can react mebbe?

Hancock lazily bracing himself stopped a train with enough force to send it off the rails. 😐

He could, in an instant and while weakened, leave the city of New York in his flight.

He tears them to pieces.

Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

Pretty much. Would need serious powers in the Breaking Dawn movie for it to matter.

Originally posted by NemeBro
Hancock lazily bracing himself stopped a train with enough force to send it off the rails. 😐

He could, in an instant and while weakened, leave the city of New York in his flight.

He tears them to pieces.

Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

👆

Originally posted by NemeBro

Seriously, no matter how much pain Jane causes him, they cannot so much as break his skin, and he could lazily rip them in half.

Question is, since they're granite-like would their assholes expand to accept a head or would their asses simply shatter?

Originally posted by Robtard
Question is, since they're granite-like would their assholes expand to accept a head or would their asses simply shatter?

Answer: Bella describes the skin as "fleshy" once she becomes a vampire. To a human, it feels as hard as granite. To a vampire, it feels "normal" due to the massive strength difference between a vampire and a human.

How do I know this? I read Breaking Dawn. 😐

That means the ***hole should expand but due to the "frozen in time clause, it will shrink right back down.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Answer: Bella describes the skin as "fleshy" once she becomes a vampire. To a human, it feels as hard as granite. To a vampire, it feels "normal" due to the massive strength difference between a vampire and a human.

How do I know this? I read Breaking Dawn. 😐

That means the ***hole should expand but due to the "frozen in time clause, it will shrink right back down.

Originally posted by dadudemon
That means the ***hole should expand but due to the "frozen in time clause, it will shrink right back down.

I've seen enough WTF porn to know that the human ******* is one seriously resilient mofo; that has insane abilities of going back to normal even after extreme 'stress.'

But as it pertains to the thread, Edward will get what he's always dreamed about, short-shorts boy's wolf-head up his vampire ass.