Denton Van Zan (Reign of Fire) vs. John McClane

Holy ****, I did a spit take at the comparison of Van Zan and Techno Viking.

There is no comparison though, Techno Viking would romp McClane and Van Zan at once.

Not anymore: Watch DH5. 😛

Techno Viking is the reason John McClane doesn't care for contemporary music, as seen in DH4. McClane tried to thug up on TV in the club, and got his ass besieged by a Viking longboat.

That Viking longboat was then used for a viking funeral for him and Van Zan, both KO'd with extreme DH5 force.

When you see the movie, you'll see McClane out survive a clone of TV/VZ in a

Spoiler:
confined room where a depleted uranium explosion happens and the unprotected McClane and son emerge without a scratch, whilst the TV/VZ clone is of course incinerated

McClane's winning is that emphatic.

to be fair, techno viking was recorded in 2000, 2 years before van zan was conceived. and no, he looks identical with added gay douche-tattoos. if you look close when his back is turned he also has a butterfly tramp stamp.

Whatever. Really tells you how much McClane sucks in H2H when in a 2 hour and 45 minute film, the only H2H fight he wins is a cheapshot against an innocent bystander. I love how of all the feats McClane could possibly have in that film (and I'm sure he has a lot) you choose him cheapshotting a bystander as the best evidence to support him here 😆 If that's all you can offer, him quickly punching some bystander (who couldn't even understand McClane's language, less lone that he was going to be engaged in a fight) then you lose. Based on feats, Van Zan still wins here, even with DH5

Or do you have a scene where McClane cheapshots an elderly woman with Alzheimer's that you feel is pertinent here? 😆

2 hr and 45? You've obviously not seen it then, O so severely, totally and utterly butthurt one...

An opinion augmented by your lack of knowledge of the new levels of undefeatability that McClane now has./the shit he endures without breaking his stride. 🙂

The guy wasn't a bystander. He hit McClane with his car, then went to fight him and lost before the fight began: Just like Van Zan very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very obviously would.

The fight would evidentally go:
* Van Zan runs up to McClane to hit him, telegraphs a slow shot with a grunt like usual, then WHHHAAAAMMMMMM! :
A rapid left hook comes outta nowhere and knocks the defenseless spark out. *
/End of fight.

(He does that to one of Guber's goons near the end of Die Hard too.
And he also beat the fu*k out of Karl also, who had god like damage soak. Karl is also someone would would turn Van Zan inside out.)

Whatever you say, no matter HOW you try to downplay McClane, its blatantly, absurdly obvious that McClane WRECKS Van Zan in one shot.

No frequent flyer milage for you....

So he cheapshotted a bystander who accidentally hit him, and was confused about the whole ordeal, and that's the only H2H fight he wins in the film, since you can't list anything else. 😆

Zan wins. McClane's durability and strength mean nothing since he can't grab a melee weapon or cheapshot a bystander. Zan dodges McClane's non-cheapshot slow blows and polishes his knob with McClane's tonsils.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth

A rapid left hook comes outta nowhere and knocks the defenseless spark out.

😆 McClane only managed that because it was a cheapshot and the other guy was a bystander didn't even know he was in a fight. Zan will dodge that crap with ease

you sure give great praise for a guy who basically failed at everything throughout the whole film. quinn was the hero, clearly to all but stevie wonder and you.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth

Whatever you say, no matter HOW you try to downplay McClane, its blatantly, absurdly obvious that McClane WRECKS Van Zan in one shot.

And your only proof of this is McClane cheapshotting a random bystander who didn't even know they were fighting. 😆

Originally posted by focus4chumps
you sure give great praise for a guy who basically failed at everything throughout the whole film. quinn was the hero, clearly to all but stevie wonder and you.

LOL what a hypocrite. McClane failed at everything in DH3 and only got an advantage because Simon was a total dumbass who gave him a pill bottle instead of a bullet to the face. Same in DH4. If Gabriel didn't decide to molest McClane it would have been a wrap for him, Farrell, and Lucy. Clear to all who saw the films, including Stevie Wonder, but not biased people such as yourself.

To elaborate on how much McClane failed in DH3, if Simon did intend to bomb the school, he would have succeeded, and McClane's failure would have been responsible for a horrific tragedy. It's only due to Simon's mercy (and not McClane) that this didn't happen.

He knew a fight was on. Its obvious when you watch it.

And regardless: McClane is a puncher now that is Joe Frazier level.

IE: Goodbye Van "Slow, telegraphed, grunt-advertised weak slap punches" Zan, and goodbye troll...

Its obvious that you have nothing left and are dancing.
Van Zan cannot even touch McClane and even if he could with McClane's damage soak nowadays especially, he could wail away for 6 months and McClane would just yawn slightly and punch Van Zan into the middle of next century.
He has no defense, movement and especially against shots of that speed, power and magnitude. He wouldn't see it coming even...

CRY ON, DOWNPLAY ON, WANK ON, DANCE ON... it really makes no difference whatsoever. 🙂

McClane wins by an epic, slamming-tank-door-sounding punch landslide.

Lestov, at least watch DH5 before you start weighing in with your crying and butthurt. Have a little dignity, man.

I just watched it. Van Zan couldn't break Quinn, Van Zan definately can't take down McClane. Even if McClane didn't figth back, Van Zan would wind himself out and likely feint, considering how winded he was after a couple minutes with Quinn.

Yeah theres no way Van Zan is even making McClane blink with his damage soak and Van Zan's complete lack of speed, power and defense ability and his posing, telegraphing his slow mo shots. His head is totally pavement fodder on the first shot.

RIP Van Zan

Originally posted by Lestov16
And your only proof of this is McClane cheapshotting a random bystander who didn't even know they were fighting. 😆

KOing someone with a single hit > anything Van Zan did, sport.

But you're just going to have to watch DH5 and see for yourself the ridiculous levels of punishment McClane shrugs off. The McClane Factor was in full effect.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
"No chance for McClane because his only good fight was when he cheapshotted a random bystander" - Lestov

There was NOTHING random about that bystander.

Cry more. You're quite wrong.
No way could Van Zan who was rocked by Quim's little slaps even DREAM of coping with that level of localised impact.

McClane may as well have just shot the guy in the head.
And the sound of the impact was akin to putting a side of beef in a catapult facing the floor and shooting in into solid concrete at 700mph.

Better and more telling than the little weak 'slap' noises from the ladies you glorify in Reign of fire...

And theres NO WAY Van Zan has the speed or defence or footwork to evade that kind of shot.

Cry me your salty salty rage tears.

Originally posted by Robtard
KOing someone with a single hit > anything Van Zan did, sport.

But you're just going to have to watch DH5 and see for yourself the ridiculous levels of punishment McClane shrugs off. The McClane Factor was in full effect.

It was a cheapshot
Your argument there also hinders on the fact that Quinn was some kind of punk bytch. You never thought that maybe Quinn withstood Zan's hits due to his own durability, especially true since he's the one who does the dragon-killing. Strawmanning and saying Quinn=some bystander is just biased wrongness at the utmost level.

More tears then....delicious. 🙂

Quim was no where near McClane level.

Basically, Unbreakable is now a pussy next to McClane.
(At least Unbreakable had water as a weakness...!)

This is now Maxim and Axiom.

The guy wasn't a bystander by any stretch of the imagination. He stepped forward as a willing combatant after hitting McClane with his car.

But anayways NOTHING detracts from the speed, power and ridiculousity of that hook, which by screen feats, Van Zan is POWERLESS to resist or react to in time. Or McClanes ridiculous damage soak with is now at near-god level.

So crying won't help you.
(Watching DH5 and admitting your wrongs will though.)