John McClane vs. Jaws

McClane is on the Orca with Brody, Quint, and Hooper. Jaws destroys the boat and eats all three original crew members.

McClane is floating in the water with a 9mm (waterproof) with three 9 round mags and a khyber knife.

Jaws is still hungry.

Who wins?

Jaws eats him.

Originally posted by the ninjak
Jaws eats him.

This. Unless there's a spare compressed air tank around...

McClane floats higher, (unless the altitude he floats at so far is sufficient to stay out of the way) and Jaws (unless Jaws has wings) stalemates out and/or drowns.

Yipeekiayaaaaayy fishy dude.

Originally posted by roughrider
This. Unless there's a spare compressed air tank around...

Yes, by screen feats, there would be.

McClane solos.

McClane eats Jaws.

Can't McClane just one shot Jaws back into the depths from which he came???

Well he is that lucky/skilled with his aim, by screen feats...and John Williams would most likely pair up with Michael Kamen to compose the ultimate Harp/Bassoon post destruction win piece to signify the amount of righteous triumphant winnage that it would quite naturally be.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well he is that lucky.

yep

Indeed. He has a horse shoe the size of the canyon of the crescent moon up his ass...but mostly he just really liked the sequinned shirts of Roy Rogers.

Wouldn't John lose, at least, a limb?

Originally posted by Impediment
Wouldn't John lose, at least, a limb?

with McClane's luck if he did lose a limb, it would grow back. 😄

Jaws was different from other sharks he could attacked vertically. Instead of slowly rising our lowering his height horizontally. Although there have been other records of sharks moving vertically and launching out of the water.

If McClane is all that's left. Jaws can attack without the exploding barrels or the 9mm being a threat. In the film the hero had a boat to climb into. McClane is floating in the water. He stands no chance of surviving Jaws.

McClane uses his bald head to deflect sunlight into Jaw's eyes blinding it momentarily.

He then uses the time for a montage where he makeshifts a deadly knife-bomb using elastic from his briefs & strapping the 9mm rounds to his khyber blade...plunging it into Jaws underbelly.

The resonating yell of, "YIPPEE KIA" & McClane's frantic dog-paddling triggers the bullets to fire simultaneously.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well he is that lucky/skilled with his aim, by screen feats...and John Williams would most likely pair up with Michael Kamen to compose the ultimate Harp/Bassoon post destruction win piece to signify the amount of righteous triumphant winnage that it would quite naturally be.

Haha

Originally posted by the ninjak
Jaws was different from other sharks he could attacked vertically. Instead of slowly rising our lowering his height horizontally. Although there have been other records of sharks moving vertically and launching out of the water.

If McClane is all that's left. Jaws can attack without the exploding barrels or the 9mm being a threat. In the film the hero had a boat to climb into. McClane is floating in the water. He stands no chance of surviving Jaws.

This is so full of fail. What in McClane's four movies leads you to believe he would float idly by and allow himself to become chum?

He'd take the fight to jaws; he'd dive and go shark-hunter with that waterproof 9mm. Jaws has no chance here. I'm assuming this is the uber experienced McClane from DH4, so he's bald; that means he'd have less resistance in the water and could likely out-swim Jaws; or in the very least keep up.

Yes DH3 showed us that his abilities in the world of hydrodynamics are quite unimpaired. He'd shoot that shark right in the eyeholes, then berate it for ruining a perfectly good hangover, with it's shark-insolence...

Shooting a 9mm pistol into the ocean whilst the shark is rising directly at him won't take any effect until within 8 ft.
And by then McClane is shooting into teeth.

There was a MythBusters episode on it.

Well how did their test go that involved shooting that shark in the eyes from 6ft away, gutting it with a Khyber knife, then pulling half of Robert Shaw out of it's digestive tract and slapping the now dead shark in the face with said remains go?

Jaws is gonna need a bigger boat.