Denton Van Zan Vs. the Wood-chipper from Fargo

Originally posted by quanchi112
I cite canon showings you fair weather Trekkie. You disgust us reboot Trekkies.

You know nothing. 🙂

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
You know nothing. 🙂

Originally posted by quanchi112
Concession accepted.

oh look. quanchi's last stand.

Indeed. x3SxEOvAOEg&autoplay=1

Originally posted by quanchi112
Loved Voldemort since OOTP. Love me both. That won't change. Loyal. Unlike yourself.

You dropped Star Trek and love the first ones.

You aren't a reboot fan. At all.

Stop lying, bandwagon-boi. You go from sucking on one character's butthole to another. "I hate Star Trek." *falls in love with Khan* "Biggest Star Trek fan ever!" He'll be dumped soon enough though. If not Zod, they'll be another that'll.

That doesn't make any sense.

While that's clearly a lie, only a bandwagon-boi like you would think that's an insult.

I think they both could easily take it. Too close to call.

Originally posted by Bardock42
I think they both could easily take it. Too close to call.

So you're giving 50% to Van Zan and 50% to the wood chipper.

I don't know, man. If you factor in Van Zan's irrational state of mind (suicidal), his inability to listen to logic (ignoring Quinn) and his penchant for ignoring his own good advice (attacking dragon at night) and then compare it to the wood-chipper's stout build and unerring reliability (screen feats shown); I think those percentages would sway in favor of the wood-chipper.

This relies completely on Van Zan hitting the woodchipper directly, we haven't seen any screen feats of the woodchipper moving to accomodate different directional insertions.

I dunno. Zan only killed himself due to the seemingly hopelessness of his situation. The woodchipper would not put him in such a predicament.

I mean would you claim Ripley was suicidal because she killed herself in Alien 3? Or that Fox was because she killed herself at the end of Wanted? Or any and all Predators are? Or any spy that eats a cyanide pill to keep from being captured?

And even if you say "yes" due to them offing themselves would you then argue that they would just leap into a woodchipper in a forum fight?

Originally posted by Bardock42
This relies completely on Van Zan hitting the woodchipper directly, we haven't seen any screen feats of the woodchipper moving to accomodate different directional insertions.

While I initially brought up a similar situation with his skull and axe possibly stalling the wood-chipper early in the thread.

Going from screen feats, Van Zan is a good jumper and can aim himself directly into a dragon's mouth, so there's a very good chance his aim would also be spot-on with the wood-chipper, despite its smaller opening. I'd give it at least a 72-81% chance in poor to ideal wind conditions.

He could have escaped the oncoming dragon by jumping down the ladder, cathing it and redropping every like 10 ft til he was at the bottom. Would have allowed Quinn to get a bead on the dragon better....but no, the braindead Van Zan, who just gets everyone killed and lets the side down constantly chose to go out like a pussy and become dragon poop.

Originally posted by juggerman

I mean would you claim Ripley was suicidal because she killed herself in Alien 3?

sacrificed herself to prevent the queen's birth. this was not a pointless and ineffectual suicide like van zans'.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
He could have escaped the oncoming dragon by jumping down the ladder, cathing it and redropping every like 10 ft til he was at the bottom. Would have allowed Quinn to get a bead on the dragon better....but no, the braindead Van Zan, who just gets everyone killed and lets the side down constantly chose to go out like a pussy and become dragon poop.

In the moment such a thought may not have occured to him. Or he may have thought such a move was futile. Not saying he had no other choice but he could have believed that to be the case

Originally posted by juggerman
Not saying he had no other choice but he could have believed that to be the case

that can be said of most if not all pointless ineffectual suicides.

Originally posted by focus4chumps
sacrificed herself to prevent the queen's birth. this was not a pointless and ineffectual suicide like van zans'.

I believe he sacrificed himself to at least harm the dragon. He failed but that wouldn't make his attempt any more pointless. There were other examples as well

Originally posted by focus4chumps
that can be said of most if not all pointless ineffectual suicides.

Agreed but i doubt you would argue all that commit pointless ineffectual suicides would jump into a woodchipper at 1st chance

Originally posted by juggerman
I believe he sacrificed himself to at least harm the dragon.

nope.

Originally posted by focus4chumps
nope.

Then why jump with the axe cocked back? Why jump with it at all?

Originally posted by juggerman
Agreed but i doubt you would argue all that commit pointless ineffectual suicides would jump into a woodchipper at 1st chance

he rage quit into a dragon's mouth. to lose one's basic instinct of self preservation and commit a completely pointless act like that shows a complete lack of sanity (unless of course he was sacrificing or escaping a more gruesome fate, which he clearly was not)

Originally posted by juggerman
Then why jump with the axe cocked back? Why jump with it at all?