Its the Freak Down Count Down to X-MAS! aka Christmas jokes

Last one was ne-asty! 😛

What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L!!)!

Saw this pic on fb last year. My oldest e mailed me from college yesterday, said he saw/bought the Grinch cut out and shipped it to me!
My spouse is gonna plotz when i decorate the outside of the house in like 30 minutes next week! 😆

This one is still my fav decorating gag..

Hahaha!!!!!
Saving that pic for the spouse! 👆

C&H baby!!!! 😱

'The Noodle Incident Kid" rides again.

Oh yeah, that IS him!

Dirty sounding things at Christmas:

10. Did you get any under the tree?
9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
8. Check out Rudolph’s Honker!
7. Santa’s sack is really bulging.
6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
3. From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

You'll poke your eye out.

What do the Pope and a Christmas tree have in common?
The balls are just for decoration.

Heh, Schmidt...! 😱

What do you call an elf that does hip hop?
A wrapper!