'Twas the night before Christmas when Santa got ready
He'd drink his first shot to make his hands steady
He'd load up his sleigh with toys and good cheer,
not forgetting his ice chest with a 12 pack of beer
He was a jolly old elf and worked with a grin,
but remembered the brats then gulped his slo-gin
In a drunken stupor down the chimney he'd fall,
then when he was done... to his reindeer he'd call...
"Hey Falstaff, hey Miller, hey Coors" he'd shout,
"Throw me a rope so I can get out!"
He flew all night long not a house was excluded
leaving toys and a note "Batteries NOT included"
He looked in his sack and said "I'm just about done",
but then he was sleigh-jacked by a kid with a gun
So now Christmas is over and Santa is sober...
But you could hear his exclaim as he walked out of sight
"Hand me a Heineken and give me a light!"
..And now its time for.....